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Why Power In Relationships Is Never Equally Divided
By Dr. George Karanastasis | December 19, 2007
Have you ever noticed that the power in relationships is never equally divided? One person always has the upper hand, whether it’s the girl or the guy.
And if you’re wondering what this power is, then please allow me to retort. It’s the unwritten, unspoken rule that defines who “calls the shots” (e.g. when and how often to meet, where to go, what to do, etc.).
So what’s the reason for this inequality? The answer: feelings…
No matter which couple you look at, one person always has more feelings for their partner than they do for them. They can’t help but love them more, even if the feeling’s not entirely mutual. It’s simply not a choice. However, in doing so they give them control of the direction the relationship is headed in (i.e. the power). And in many cases that’s fine. In most, however, it’s not.
Why? Because the person with the power ends up abusing it over time…
For example, it’s quite typical for a guy in a relationship to ignore his girlfriend when it comes to his friends. And every time he does she seeks his attention that much more.
That’s when a tug of war begins and the couple enters a vicious circle. The more he pulls away the closer she pushes to be with him and the bigger his sense of security (and ego) ultimately becomes.
Now here’s where it gets interesting…
In 99% of the cases this power ultimately shifts! That’s when you witness a cool, casual guy turn into a whimpering “wuss”. And do you know why? It’s because the positive reinforcement he was getting all this time from his girlfriend is now gone… taking his confidence away with it.
And when that happens he begins to push closer to her while she pulls further away. The next thing you know… a breakup soon follows. It happens over and over again, yet most guys never see it coming. Or to be more precise, they see it coming yet they fail to acknowledge the reality that their previous behavior has eventually caught up with them.
So here’s a quick tip if the power of your relationship lies in your hands…
Take an outsider’s point of view to make sure you’re not abusing it. Because sooner than later this behavior will catch up with you, and when it does… it’s GAME OVER.
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