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Who Handles Relationship Rejection Better - Guys Or Girls?

By Dr. George Karanastasis

Rejection In RelationshipsMost people would agree that men are strong while women are sensitive. It’s quite a stereotype, but a widely accepted one, nonetheless.

So with this in mind, you’d expect our “better halves” to have a harder time dealing with rejection in relationships (and to be more specific: during a breakup).

A logical assumption? I’d say so… but experience has proven me otherwise… And I recently answered this question for a member of the Makeup Board as part of Q&A session we put together. What follows is a recap of my response…

It would be very politically correct of me to say that it depends on the particular person… and it does, however, if I had to stereotype (which I’m obviously going to) I would have to say that women definitely handle rejection better than men.

And here’s why…

Men are too proud… We bottle up our emotions because it’s not socially acceptable to let them out. And those of us that do are considering weak, or sissies, or what have you.

In other words, society expects us to be “strong” which doesn’t leave us with many options in the emotional support department.

So when a typical guy is going through a breakup he doesn’t have the luxury of calling up his friends for a shoulder to cry on (a luxury that women clearly have). And if he does happen to take this issue to his buddies, most will tell him to suck it up, that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and then they’ll take him out to get drunk.

And while boozing with the boys does take the edge off a bit - it’s merely a band-aid to a serious situation. In most cases, a guy doesn’t really have someone to share his feelings with. The result? They get bottled up until he starts to lose his mind (hence all the desperate things men do when their girlfriends break up with them).

In contrast, when a woman gets rejected during a breakup she calls up her girlfriends, and within the hour, they’re at her side with a large tub of ice-cream and several boxes of Kleenex. This type of support goes a long way in helping someone handle this difficult situation.

And here’s something else…

Women are constantly being hit on by men (even after they’ve been rejected) and what this does is boost their confidence to a tremendous degree. There’s never a shortcoming of available men for women. And even though a girl might not be interested in dating any of these guys, the fact that she can get her ego stroked on a daily basis goes a long way in overcoming rejection.

As men… we don’t have that “natural advantage”. We have to work for it. And when our confidence is shattered from a brutal breakup… it becomes extremely difficult to get some approval from other women. It’s one big catch-22… at least for some time until we get ourselves back together.

So if you take into account that women have a stronger support system to help them through this tough time PLUS a constant source of confidence I think the answer to this question is quite clear.

And while this issue is not as “cut and dry” as I’ve presented it… from a man’s point of view, I’d say that women most definitely have it easier when it comes to dealing with a breakup.

Care to share your thoughts?

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8 Responses to “Who Handles Relationship Rejection Better - Guys Or Girls?”

  1. Aj Says:
    February 20th, 2009 at 1:34 am

    I am a guy who agrees with this 100%, these articles have really cheered me up. I know I am still in the down part of this relationship but this stuff is really good to read. lol

  2. CG Says:
    March 30th, 2009 at 11:07 am

    I always knew that girls have a LOT of advantages in comparison to men, but I just couldnt get my ideas straight. I agree with you 1000% !

    For girls the idea of getting back in the game is much easier than it is for us men.

    (im a man) I always feel terrible after a breakup, i feel like theres no tomorrow and those feelings usually last for months, but every girl I know usually gets over her ex in a matter of days or weeks.

  3. teresa williams Says:
    April 12th, 2009 at 6:05 am

    i agree i am a woman just getting over a three year relationship with a guy who would not commit to me. today i feel great in myself who knows what around the corner. but i am going to have fun finding out ha

  4. mike Says:
    June 3rd, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    teresa
    you are the rejector in your case, irrelevant in this context

  5. Janice Says:
    March 11th, 2010 at 1:44 am

    I am a woman and I got broken up with after a 5 year relationship. It’s been a year and I still feel like it happened yesterday. Even though, yes…I do get guys that try to kick it to me all the time, it doesn’t phase me because the man that I WANT, doesn’t want me anymore. Its been very difficult for me to deal with the breakup but it seems so easy for him.

  6. crocodilexp Says:
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    How about a simple fact that women have way more choice than guys? A women, even if she’s a bit on the ugly side, never needs to leave a bar alone unless she chooses to.

  7. ableli1 Says:
    January 29th, 2011 at 8:41 am

    My personal experience is its easy for a man to forget and move on, while girls sit and be sad for what happened with her….i am a girl and i wish i was a boy and it would have been so easy. Just hate the fact! girls we need to be strong!!

  8. Steph Says:
    January 15th, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    The grass always seem greener on the other side, doesn’t it?

    Women want different things.. We want quality men (very hard to find), and it seems that men just want sex, and anyone will do (see crocodilexp’s comment above me). /shudders/

    That’s our Catch-22… We could have sex all day every day, but we don’t want that. After enough losers hit on you it starts to work against you because you wonder why you seem to be repelling good guys. Girls going through a breakup seem to give off a wounded scent that attracts the wrong type of guys.

    What happens if we do have sex with these men? We get labeled as a slut, and then it’s all downhill from there.

    I think you’ve been watching too many romantic comedies; I’ve never had a bunch of friends come over with ice cream. My friends are probably secretly pleased that I broke up with my boyfriend because now they have a shot at him. :)

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