By Dr. George Karanastasis
Every breakup happens for a reason. But too often, that reason is never revealed (at least not the real one).
And we get it ladies… you’re trying your best NOT to add fuel to the fire; to avoid making a bad situation even worse…
But dare I say that your “gracious” attempts to cushion our fall are doing us a great disservice.
Because we can’t correct the problem unless we know what it is - either with this relationship or another down the road.
With that said, this post will explore 5 common - yet vague - breakup excuses, how to interpret them, and what to do about them.
Let’s start off with my all-time-favorite:
Common Breakup Excuse #1: “I love you but I’m not in love with you.”
Translation: “I’m not attracted to you anymore. Sure, I might have been in the past but those feelings are long gone.“
This is a classic line a guy gets when he’s been too needy, too clingy, and for too long. The opposite also holds true: it could be the result of prolonged indifference towards your significant other.
In any case, the underlying reason is clear: the attraction is gone. The solution? Obviously, you have to get it back - and we’ll get to that soon - but first let’s tackle the rest of the reasons…
Common Breakup Excuse #2: “It’s not you - it’s me!”
Translation: Once again, “I’m not attracted to you anymore.”
Are you starting to see a pattern here? A relationship begins and ends with attraction. When the latter is gone the former soon follows.
Common Breakup Excuse #3: “I’m too busy for a relationship right now.”
Translation: “This relationship is more trouble than it’s worth and I’m better off without you.”
There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship - each comes with the good and the bad. And the reason that some work out while others don’t is a direct result of this ratio. You see, every one of us will put up with enough “bads” when the “goods” are plenty in supply.
Therefore, in a case such as this, take a hard look at where you’re “lacking” and reverse that ratio. In fact, go grab a pen and make a list - it will be an eye-opener (as long as you’re objective) and will point you in the right direction.
Common Breakup Excuse #4: “I’m falling for you - too hard (and too fast) - and I’m scared!”
If she hit you with this one then you’re in luck (maybe). One of two things could be happening here:
1) She digs you but your game’s too “tight.” As far as the latter’s concerned - not necessarily a bad thing but if this one’s a keeper you’ll have to tone it down and show her your softer side. In short, reassurance is your best friend here.
2) She’s just plain crazy, in which case, cut your losses and move on. Sticking around will bring you nothing but headaches - or worse - the tables will turn and you’ll end up in heartache.
Common Breakup Excuse #5: “You deserve someone better.”
Translation: “I’ll be looking elsewhere to get what you can’t give me.”
“Thanks honey but I like you just fine - let me be the judge of what I deserve.”
Now, that would be a good response to a literal translation but you and I both know that’s not what she means. So give her what she wants or get out of her way.
And there you have it gentlemen… 5 of the most common breakup excuses you’ve either heard or will definitely hear at some point in your dating endeavors.
Now, the million dollar question, “What to do about it?”
Glad you asked. Here goes:
1) Give the situation time and space - DO NOT try to force a change of heart.
2) Analyze (in excruciating detail) what you may or may not have done to bring this about.
3) Take a stepwise approach to correcting the problem.
Topics: How To Get Her Back |
these 6 tips (it could push her further away)...