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Should You Get Your Ex Girlfriend a Gift for Valentine’s Day?

By Dr. George Karanastasis

Breaking up just before Valentine’s Day is not only (excruciatingly) painful, but quite confusing as well. For example: do you still take your ex out on a date? Do you just call to wish her a happy Valentine’s Day? And… do you get her a flowers or even a gift? Or… do you drop off the face of the Earth?

I’m sure that if you asked ten random people the above questions you’d get a mix of answers. And to be honest, all of them would potentially be right. In a way, it all boils down to the individual’s personality and beliefs. However, if you’re hoping to get this girl back, it’s a different story altogether.

In 9 out of 10 breakup situations, you should NEVER get your ex a gift for Valentine’s Day (or send a card, flowers, or even call her) if you’re hoping to get her back. Counter-intuitive? It certainly is. But then again… most of the things that work as far as relationship repair is concerned are. And this is no exception… especially this… and here’s why…

When your girlfriend breaks up with you, what is telling you? She doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Therefore, getting her gifts on the most romantic (albeit disgustingly commercialized) day of the year, goes contrary to that fact. But here’s where it gets a bit complicated…

Just because she wants out of the relationship doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want your attention (and everything that comes with it such as the gifts). Confused? I don’t blame you. It’s backwards thinking on a woman’s part but that’s how it is nonetheless.

If you get her a gift - in most cases - you’ll be the ex who’s “pestering her” and won’t leave her alone. On the other hand, if you don’t, you’ll be the “bastard” who doesn’t care. Nevertheless, you want to be in the second camp… no matter how cruel it may seem. After all, you’re giving her exactly what she asked of you: an end to the relationship and all of the romanticism that comes with it.

Furthermore, this goes for any day of the year - not just Valentine’s Day. It’s not about being mean or ignoring her. Rather, it’s all part of the psychological strategy necessary to win a girl back (fully explained in How to Get Her Back for Good).

And while you might feel like a jerk for doing this (heck, there’s a good chance she’ll call you out on it as well) - don’t sweat it. Why? Because in the end, it will work out in your favor… both of yours… and down the road - she’ll even thank you for it (in her own “weird” way, of course).

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One Response to “Should You Get Your Ex Girlfriend a Gift for Valentine’s Day?”

  1. David Says:
    December 19th, 2012 at 8:21 am

    Have been thinking do i give her a Christmas card a bit lost

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