« How NOT To Get Her Back - The Nice Habit That Can Cost You Your Relationship | Home | Why Sex With The Ex Is Bad News During A Breakup »
Meeting Your Ex Girlfriend After A Breakup - 6 Do’s And Don’ts
By Dr. George Karanastasis | March 12, 2008
So, you haven’t seen your ex girlfriend since your breakup and now she’s asked you to meet up. You happily oblige…
You’re excited, yet nervous - full of hope, and at the same time, weary of what might happen… and rightfully so, because this is quite a crucial part of the getting back together process and must be handled with tact.
And if you happen to be in this situation… then here are 6 do’s and don’ts (guidelines, so to speak) to ensure you make the most of this encounter…
Do #1: Maintain a lighthearted mood throughout the meeting…
Nobody enjoys being in uncomfortable situations. And this meeting with your ex girlfriend is likely to be exactly that: awkward and uneasy (especially if you haven’t seen each other in a while).
But despite this fact, it’s on you to take what could be an uncomfortable experience and turn it into a pleasant one. This is important because you want this to be the first of many more meetings… and the latter won’t follow if this ends up being a negative ordeal.
So keep a lighthearted tone, crack some jokes, and make her smile. Make this a fun encounter and more will soon follow.
Do #2: Contain your excitement…
It’s natural to be overflowing with excitement if you’ve been apart for some time and this is your first meeting since the breakup, however, keep your enthusiasm in check. The last thing you want is to give her the impression that you’ve been eagerly awaiting this meeting.
And it goes without saying that you should not tell her how much you’ve missed her! Be happy to be with her, show it, but don’t overdo it.
Do #3: Keep the meeting short…
If everything’s going according to plan and you’re finding yourselves wrapped up in interesting conversations (yet pointless as far as your relationship is concerned)… don’t make the mistake of dragging out this date until you run out of things to talk about and she tells you it’s time to go.
Keep the momentum going throughout the meeting, reach a peak, and then cut it short. You want to leave her with something to look forward to… and regarding the latter, don’t be the one to ask her for a second date. Let her take charge and ask you first.
And now for the don’ts…
Don’t #1: Get there looking like a train wreck…
Going through a breakup can take it’s toll on both your physical and mental state… sometimes to a extreme extent, however, showing up at this meeting looking like you’ve just been through World War III is not going to help your case. It’s not her pity you’re after… it’s her love.
Put on a nice pair of clothes (don’t overdo it in this department), pretty up, and get there looking like you’ve just gotten back from a nice relaxing vacation.
Don’t #2: Bring up the relationship unless she does…
Out of all the do’s and don’ts, this is probably the most important so pay close attention… after the initial round of “hello’s, how are you’s, and how have you been’s” you’ll be tempted to dive into deeper issues such as:
- Where you both stand in your relationship
- Why things went downhill
- What’s going to happen from this day forward
It’s inevitable that the conversion will lead up to that, either in this meeting, or the next… but don’t be the one to initiate it. Your only “task” throughout this encounter is to put both of you in comfortable mood so that these issues can be properly addressed… the latter, however, has to come from her.
And this ties in directly with the final don’t…
Don’t #3: Expect too much from this meeting
It takes time to get over the hump of a breakup, put the negative feelings aside, and start over. And it’s easy to become overly optimistic about this meeting if your ex has reached out to you (especially if she’s been rejecting you for some time). Regardless of this fact… arrive (and leave) without expectations.
If she’s taken the first step towards re-establishing communication and it didn’t go as well as you hoped… then leave it at that. If you’ve followed the above advice you’ll get a chance to meet again, and each successive encounter will bring you a little closer to your goal of getting back together. But until that happens, remember… these things take time.
And finally, for more help with getting your ex girlfriend back, click here to read a free report that contains 6 actionable pieces of advice to follow throughout your breakup.
Popularity: 44%
Topics: How To Get Her Back |