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Meeting Your Ex Girlfriend After A Breakup - 6 Do’s And Don’ts

By Dr. George Karanastasis

Meeting Your Ex-Girlfriend After A Breakup

So, you haven’t seen your ex girlfriend since your breakup and now she’s asked you to meet up. You happily oblige…

You’re excited, yet nervous - full of hope, and at the same time, weary of what might happen… and rightfully so, because this is quite a crucial part of the getting back together process and must be handled with tact.

And if you happen to be in this situation… then here are 6 do’s and don’ts (guidelines, so to speak) to ensure you make the most of this encounter…

Do #1: Maintain a lighthearted mood throughout the meeting…

Nobody enjoys being in uncomfortable situations. And this meeting with your ex girlfriend is likely to be exactly that: awkward and uneasy (especially if you haven’t seen each other in a while).

But despite this fact, it’s on you to take what could be an uncomfortable experience and turn it into a pleasant one. This is important because you want this to be the first of many more meetings… and the latter won’t follow if this ends up being a negative ordeal.

So keep a lighthearted tone, crack some jokes, and make her smile. Make this a fun encounter and more will soon follow.

Do #2: Contain your excitement…

It’s natural to be overflowing with excitement if you’ve been apart for some time and this is your first meeting since the breakup, however, keep your enthusiasm in check. The last thing you want is to give her the impression that you’ve been eagerly awaiting this meeting.

And it goes without saying that you should not tell her how much you’ve missed her! Be happy to be with her, show it, but don’t overdo it.

Do #3: Keep the meeting short…

If everything’s going according to plan and you’re finding yourselves wrapped up in interesting conversations (yet pointless as far as your relationship is concerned)… don’t make the mistake of dragging out this date until you run out of things to talk about and she tells you it’s time to go.

Keep the momentum going throughout the meeting, reach a peak, and then cut it short. You want to leave her with something to look forward to… and regarding the latter, don’t be the one to ask her for a second date. Let her take charge and ask you first.

And now for the don’ts…

Don’t #1: Get there looking like a train wreck…

Going through a breakup can take it’s toll on both your physical and mental state… sometimes to a extreme extent, however, showing up at this meeting looking like you’ve just been through World War III is not going to help your case. It’s not her pity you’re after… it’s her love.

Put on a nice pair of clothes (don’t overdo it in this department), pretty up, and get there looking like you’ve just gotten back from a nice relaxing vacation.

Don’t #2: Bring up the relationship unless she does…

Out of all the do’s and don’ts, this is probably the most important so pay close attention… after the initial round of “hello’s, how are you’s, and how have you been’s” you’ll be tempted to dive into deeper issues such as:

It’s inevitable that the conversion will lead up to that, either in this meeting, or the next… but don’t be the one to initiate it. Your only “task” throughout this encounter is to put both of you in comfortable mood so that these issues can be properly addressed… the latter, however, has to come from her.

And this ties in directly with the final don’t…

Don’t #3: Expect too much from this meeting

It takes time to get over the hump of a breakup, put the negative feelings aside, and start over. And it’s easy to become overly optimistic about this meeting if your ex has reached out to you (especially if she’s been rejecting you for some time). Regardless of this fact… arrive (and leave) without expectations.

If she’s taken the first step towards re-establishing communication and it didn’t go as well as you hoped… then leave it at that. If you’ve followed the above advice you’ll get a chance to meet again, and each successive encounter will bring you a little closer to your goal of getting back together. But until that happens, remember… these things take time.

And finally, for more help with getting your ex girlfriend back, click here to read a free report that contains 6 actionable pieces of advice to follow throughout your breakup.

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77 Responses to “Meeting Your Ex Girlfriend After A Breakup - 6 Do’s And Don’ts”

  1. Dino Says:
    November 12th, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    Thank you so much for this info:) it is really good! God bless:)

  2. alex mina Says:
    November 16th, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    my case different she not my girlfriend.im one of her suitors, for a year already. but until now no clear answer from her if she like me or not. a last couple of day i been fight her. beacuse i fell she with someone elese. then she get mad to me very badly. she told me not call her anymore. during that time i try my best to make her calm but i faild i begging her,i say sorry but she junt ingnoring me. then lastly i told her that if you dont want to talk me, dont call me too. i have nothting to lose. and i will not run after you.

  3. A. Says:
    January 13th, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    Dr. Karanastasis,

    How can one reach you to discuss a specific situation? Can you email me and let me know?

  4. SJM Says:
    February 23rd, 2009 at 3:30 am

    This could of been real helpfull about 5 days ago… I was letting her know that there might be something between me and another girl, so she called me 5 days ago at 4am to talk and continiously mentioned that she loves me and wanted me to say the same to her but she also mentioned that she doesnt want to be back with me but she cant live without me…I know shes a little wack but thats why I love her! but now we had a fight over something small and she doesnt answer my calls. Look I really love her and I really need some help!

  5. SJM Says:
    February 23rd, 2009 at 3:32 am

    and I’m also scared that she will start dating other guys by the time she starts missing me again…I know for a fact that she weant out with someone 2 days ago (she kept it a secret from me)

  6. 100+ Resources to Get You Through a Break Up | Nerds Do It Better Says:
    February 24th, 2009 at 5:51 am

    […] "Meet Your Ex-Girlfriend After a Breakup — 6 Dos and Dont’s: From keeping the mood light to acting cool to keeping your expectations low, this guide goes over the basic rules for meeting an ex for the first time. […]

  7. jacob Says:
    February 28th, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    i recently broke up with my girlfriend and it was because of me… i cheated on her a couple of times and she was good enough to forgive me…it finally fell apart when she wanted me to stop smoking and i challenged her threat… i know all of these things work already because i used to get a lot of girls that i didnt feel that strongly for… when i ignore them they try to talk to me but with my ex its different.. she is the first girl ive loved and i thought that pleading with her and telling her how things will be different will change her mind on me… it didnt… like yu said it just pushed her away further… now that ive made that mistake ill do what ive always done and play the cool even though im not…. i hope i didnt dig a hole deeper than that which i could get out of…

  8. needadvice Says:
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Question: I broke up with my G/f one and a half years ago never had an argument but just needed some time off and no matter which way i put it i still broke her heart..

    Now! since then I’ve bumped into her twice and funnily each time it’s been the night before i left for south east Asia. It’s been 6 months since i last seen her & For the last month she’s been constantly on my mind and have been missing her.

    i haven’t dated anybody since her prob because i haven’t been looking/working but is this normal and what should i do?

    we dated for just under 2yrs

  9. buwa Says:
    March 24th, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    hi! thanks for the tips. wt is the best way to set up a meeting with a ex girlfriend?

  10. Dave H Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 12:58 am

    this is great advice. Underlines something important to know about women… they are looking for high status males (though status can be subjective). Being overly enthusiastic towards a woman shows that you feel you are lower value than she is.. don’t believe this! Most women are pretty insecure and what they need is support and not fawning. A belief that YOU have other options, and that YOU are high value, is a much greater stimulus to her than knowing that you love her.

  11. CSS Says:
    April 26th, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    Its been 7 months since my breakup…me and the ex have cut off all ties and i thought id never speak to him again….well last night he invited me out to an after party which i went to…but we didnt really talk there…i wokeup to a text today of him apologizing how he wasnt really around the majority of the night…..and so on. I responded telling him it wasnt a big deal (becuz it really wasnt at all) and we laughed about stuff. 10 minutes went by and he sends me a text saying that he doesnt know why hes saying this, but he would eventually like for us to be more than just civil and we have things we need to figure out. We havent spoke in 7 months! I guess becuz we frequent the same parties/bars and all and he sees me alot? Idkno how to go about this =[

    he reached out to me…which i knew took alot, and even during the relationship i would always tell him to “man up” or give in alittle….it shows alot…i just dont know what to expect, and i dont wanna get hurt again….
    guess if and when we hangout, i should follow these rules?

  12. alhasan Says:
    October 6th, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    been 8 months since the breakup and i have messed up alot tryng to get back with my ex and there was a point where i told her to back off but she didint and we both pushed and pulled eachother and even though we had stopped talking,at times it made me contact her which i knew was wrong. after a reasonable amount of no contact i sent her a birthday gift of choclates and keep the tx messagin convo short. Never called her. it feels wh havn’t spoken for ages even tho since dat birthday greetng tx it has only been 3 weeks. I do plan to keep no contact as i want to get on with my life hopin secretly that she does contact me cos i now know hot to carry my self this time round. However i want to give her the impression i still want her without giving it away.. so is there any indirect way of doin that supposed i contact her after a very long time? write back

  13. Jim bellows Says:
    October 12th, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    It’s been a months since my girlfriend and I broke up. My friends tell me she’s dating some guy who lives in Memphis. She’s in Florida. I made all the initial mistakes of telling how much I love her, texting her to see if she was alright, giving her cards, etc. What should i do now???

  14. DST Says:
    October 17th, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    I my girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. I tried to be strong, but I ended up calling her a few hours after the break up and begged during are hour long conversation. Later that day I tried making thing better by surprising her at her house with a gift, but she told me that she needed space. I managed not to call her for a full 24 hours, but I attempted to call her two days after the break up, and she would not answer my phone calls. I contacted her on facebook the next day, because I wanted answers, and she sent me a note telling she felt our relationship is over romantically and she needed space from me, and she would contact me when she was ready. I gave her space for about a week, until I ran into on facebook, and I started chatting with her. The first thing she started telling me is how sorry she was about the break up, and how much she things will better if weren’t together, and how she wanted to still be friends anyway. I asked if we could speak in person, but she told me she was not ready to speak to me in person or over the phone. I got desperate, in started to express my undying love for her over facebook, but she just rejected any idea of us getting back together, and just seem to want to convince to me that breaking up was the best idea. I finally came straight out and asked, and told one of the reason she broke up with me is because, I seem to lack motivation and I failed to change things up in our relationship. I know I’m motivated now more then ever. But, how can I make her see that or should I not worry about it too much? And, I have already, but the No contact into place, for about four days and she has not called yet. What should I do?

  15. DST Says:
    October 17th, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    I asked my girl if she wanted me out her life forever and she told me, of course not. Then I asked if she wanted a guy like me, and she said honestly no. This is after a four year relationship. What am I to do about this.

  16. anon Says:
    October 28th, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    to DST: you need to let this go for the time being. she said she wants space - well then give it to her. let her feel what it’s like to not have you in her life. right now you’re at her beck and call - and you are pissing her off and downright reassuring her of her decision. just disappear man. if you do that, only then may she realize what she’s losing. she will actually be the one reaching out to you in a month’s time. just give it four weeks or so. STOP checking her facebook. edit your news update feed to block anything coming from her. in gmail, hide her screen name. just straight up disappear from her life, and i guarantee she will wonder where the heck you went. and how you’re doing. and she’ll wonder whether she meant that much to you. this is what you want. you will eventually get a call. four years is a long time - but i had to deal with your situation after seven years. take my advice. it’s hard, and you will think about her 24/7, but believe me what i’ve told you is what you need to do if you want any results. good luck.

  17. Broken Says:
    November 16th, 2009 at 1:14 am

    After 6 months of breaking up with the person I truely believed was my soulmate, I still think of him EVERYDAY. IT was a short 3 month relationship but things MOVED really fast and we were even planning our future together. HOW did something so perfect go wrong? I DONT KNOW. NO answers. I kept denying to myself that he wasnt drifiting away even though in my heart I knew he was acting different. I than text him one day that I realize he is no longer interested, I text it as a complete JOKE just to see what he would say. TO MY SURPRISE HE AGREED. That was the last time we spoke. I did not break any of the stupid rules and text,call,email him after. HE did not attempt to text,call,email me to explain. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont wonder WHAT went wrong. COMMITMENT PHOBIC? Even commitment phobics have hearts …..
    still broken :-(

  18. A Says:
    December 19th, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    please please can someone help me here.. ? my gf broke up with me a week ago. we have been together for a year and a half. it was the best and happiest time of my life. now everything has no meaning. life has no meaning . please help.she was very dissaponted and didnt expect from me what i did. i love her to death,i realy do. she was crying and i was too. i hate myself because i hurt her and i hurt myself as well. she said we cant be friends and wants me to erase her number and never call her. i tried to commit a suicide but i survived. please please someone help me. i want to hear her voice or at least smth from her so bad but i couldnt risk texting or calling her for over a week. i understand her situation and want to give her some space and time. but im scared and i really want to die. please help me get her back. she is the one and only love of my life and no matter what i will always love her. but i will never be able to forgive myself and its not worth to me living this kind of life. i will do anything and give up on everything just for anouther chance to prove and improve myself in her eyes. she is my true angel. please someone help me. i know everyone says their situation is unique and they are hopeless but i live with hope so far only. that ill get her back.she is a strong person with strong character and thats why im scared she wouldnt listen to me.

  19. Random guy on the internet Says:
    December 25th, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    I just went through all the posts and wow! It feels like I’ve experienced everything that people have posted (except the cheating parts). I was with my ex for 2 years on and off. She always broke up with me and I feel like i’ve come to a better balance emotionally about her. I wouldn’t be this strong from my experienced with her. Last year when she broke up with me I felt exactly like #18 except I didn’t do suicide. It was so hard for me because I was going to college and it was killing me while being an emotional mess. I know it’s extremely hard for some of you (as I also went through it) to do it, but SUCK IT UP! That’s is the only way. Make yourself busy. I don’t care if you depressed as sh*t and wanna do the craziest thing ever to forget about her. I know that the thought of her seems like is stuck in your head. but you gotta do the craziest sh*t possible. People used to tell me not to talk to her but the truth is I used to beg her over the phone and cry in front of her house on my knees in front of her. And it kinda worked but that was because she felt sorry for me. But then again she would not call me anymore. Then i did it again. I kept doing it until I finally figured out that it’s a waste of time. And at that time (since she was my first) ignoring her was the last thing on my mind cuz I was going crazy. It was one of the most aweful things that happened to me in my life. In the end you just learn and move on. It might seem impossible right now but it just is. I’m pretty sure if I was reading my own comment that I’m typing right now at that time that I still wouldn’t have cared. Because I had to go through to learn it. No one could help me except myself. Just try to know yourself. You know the best. The only thing others can do is comfort you by saying that theyve been through the same thing. But everyone gets over it differently and is not something that can be explained because it’s not universal. Just know yourself. Try to figure out what will at least make you forget about her for couple of minutes. That couple of minutes for me was peace and harmony. And like I said I don’t care if you’re gonna do the wildest s*** there is. ANYTHING that can try to make yourself forget about her DO IT! And another thing, from my own experince and I’m sure many others as well, not contacting her and TRULY moving on is the best thing, not only does it make you feel at peace emotionally, but it will also attract her to you more. But make sure when you’re doing you truly forget about her. for example that could be just giving up on life and not caring about anything and just doing w/e you want and not following rules. Well at least that worked for me. I dont hope, I’m SURE that you guys will get over this obstacle in your lives. Believe in your selves guys, or not, w/e that works best ;)

  20. dam Says:
    January 4th, 2010 at 5:48 am

    i split with my gf, she said i had done nothing wrong, jus that her family will not allow it, but she said before we really got serious this would not affect us, keeping us a secret etc. She still wants to meet but what should i do?

  21. darren Says:
    January 5th, 2010 at 6:12 am

    my case is different.she get to know that i’ve slept with a girl and she had prove on it.i’ve drag the issue and told her that i never slept with her and finally i went and agree that yea i slept with her.so she as for a break up from me.i’ve went to a very depression life and i guess that is the last stage on it.she ask 6 months break with me but then i dont know whehter is that just for the sake she wants avoid from me or serious.she told me that no communication,no msg and anything that can contact us.what am i suppose to do?i need some suggestion regarding this and i have no heart to leave her and i told her i’ve changed but she dont believe me.i need a good idea of this case..

  22. seth Says:
    February 10th, 2010 at 9:44 am

    I was with my ex for 4 years and then she moved away for college (only a year) and she acted really distant to me when i went to see her, so i checked her messages and saw some flirty texts and know she hid things like meeting up with this particular bloke and coursemates when i was at her dorm waiting, she lied to me sayig she had a meeting. I split up with her and i miss her so much and i know from a mutual friend she misses me but theres something she isnt telling me…its been 4 weeks since i ended it and im now going to meet with her but dont know what to say theres so many questions i want to ask?

  23. khan Says:
    March 21st, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    We have all been through or will be through. I am going through it right now. My girlfriend broke up with me 10 days ago. We were together for 6 months. The first three months we were all good except very few arguments and make ups. Then we moved in together, and problems started. We argued so much. The last month that led to the break up was specially hard. We fought almost everyday, over every mean and even in bed. She first refused making love to me. Well a typical guy, I tried hard to make her. The I took a job and moved to another state, 750 miles away, but I was so excited about the job and how this will help our relationship that I totally forgot about her emotions. When I went back two weeks later to visit, I had already lost her while we had talk during those two weeks. I argued with her over scheduling of the visit. Well, I drove back those miles, broken hearted, felt awful and regret every mistake. A few times I pushed her in getting back together. I forgot that women don’t accept reasons, they accept emotions. For them, the process of breaking up boils up for a long time and for us, it is BANG, and we realize what we have just lost. It has been 10 days now and I tried different ways. My problem is that I am not close, and that I want a distance relationship to work.

    The one thing that we don’t realize is that we have broken their trust. Trust doesn’t only break by cheating, it can break emotionally. She told me that she can’t see us together in the future and that she loves me and she wants to be friends with me. Now here I am, away from everyone I know and everything I used to do and broken heart?

    Over the past 10 days, including last night, I kept making the mistake of reasoning for why we are great together and how pathetic I am without her. But do you really want to be with a no fun pathetic man or woman? I have the strategy of low profile contact but still in some way proving to her that I care. I sent her a card a few days ago and I am sure she got it because she remembered the name of the place I live. But she didn’t say a word about it.

    I will have a chance to meet her and hang out with her in person in May during college graduation. I am hoping that I can stay cool and give her the feeling that while I love her very much, I can still carry on with life.

    Remember: when you meet your ex after a break up, don’t be the guy she broke up with, be the guy you were in the first date when all started. Don’t talk about relationship and where you two are in it. Make her laugh, crack nice jokes, pull the chair for her, act like this is the first time you are dating her. Even though as guys, we always go back to thinking of the time when were in a relationship in our first post-break up meeting, remember, you are not in a relationship anymore and for her trust to grow for you again that you have actually changed and that you improved as a person, you need time. I know it is killing, but let the healing power of time work its way. Feelings don’t go away, we just burry them and same is true about women. Every nice gesture and move, not obsessive though, will bring back a bit of those feelings. LUCKY are you if you are physically close. Good luck to me and every heartbroken friend here.

  24. Adrian Says:
    April 8th, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    My ex broke up with me about a week ago she had her wisdom teeth out and was in a lot of pain as it got infected and i was there for her the whole time she couldnt do her assignments from university as she was too dizzy from the drugs this was stressing her out and i went round one morning and out of the blue she broke up with me she was not happy and she just said she cannot handle this at the moment and broke up with me. Now we have only been together for a short time but this girl is so alike to me we even have identical cars she is exactly what i ahve always wanted looks wise and she is the smartest girl i have ever come accross. Now to the point we had some space and she has now come to me asking to casually Date again i am more than happy to do this as i love her and do not want to lose her but am i getting in trouble by giving her what she wants she has no intentions of getting back together anytime soon due to travel and uni commitments but i think that if i stick in there and keep on seeing her our lvoe will grow stronger and then when she goes away for a month she will come back after missing me andmake a decision. Now her travel is 2 months away do you guys think im wasting my time as it will go back around or do you think i should keep seeing her and hope for the best in the long run as i am happy without the pressure of the GF/BF status for now

  25. Mr THINKALOT Says:
    May 29th, 2010 at 12:04 am

    After more than 5 years together,my ex and i went our own ways about a week ago..her reason being that she needs a breather,find new friends and that she feels relationship is tieing her down..Also that she feels there is no more spark,no chemistry between us and that everyday is a routine..I truely and sincerely love her and she told me she still loves me..She acknowleges that i am a good man..According to someone,she is not herself and looks sad now.
    I know that many of u will say GIVE HER SPACE AND SHE MAY REALISE HOW MUCH I MEANT TO HER..
    However my doubt is whether being totally GONE from her life,no contacts,no FB,no chatting is really the best way to go..I do not want her to mistook that i am done with her,yet i do not want to come in as too pushy and desperate.. Does giving SPACE W/O ANY CONTACT REALLY WORKS? Or does giving space but still showing your presence(but not too upfront),for eg we r still facebook friends and updating my wall etc, better?
    Please i need your inputs and experience..

  26. James Says:
    June 19th, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Will some one help?
    My ex and I broke up about a month ago, the reason was that she wanted me to be a more self dependent person and that I didnt do enough of the little things like getting her flowers and stuff like that. We’ve talked and went and got coffee for the first time since we broke up and it went really well. My questions should I wait for her to call and ask to meet up the next time? And any tips on how to get her back?? thanks for reading and please help!

  27. badri Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 7:28 am

    my gf can move frm 4 yrs since der is no respomse any ph frm her actual she wid others what will i hav to do she is exact opposite house

  28. badri Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 7:31 am

    my gf was to muchly disturind why ididnt getting work she calling when iam in ofis when iam free she is not ready to talk withme

  29. theoneandonly Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    my ex and i agreed to be friends and we ended it on a good note.the next day i didnt call or text her so later on see text me asking why havin i call or text so i called we talk and i ask can we be together again she said she didnt want to get back yet cause she was still mad at me. now she’s a college student and we both stay in the same area but she went back home for interm but shes coming back when school starts do u think she will want me when she comeback

  30. Gee23 Says:
    July 19th, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Hey everyone. I’ve been broken up with my ex GF for almost 2mnths now. I actually initiated the break-up coz i lost my trust for her after I found out she was not 100% honest with me. We were actually in a long distance relationship and I lived in da east coast and she lived in the west coast, but she was going to move back this month as she had planned from the summer before when we first started going out and we both agreed to make our relationship work no matter the distance. I felt we shared everything about each other and it was all true and I was even the first guy to take her virginity as she claims (but she never bled)… anyways while we were going out, the first 6mnths were lovely and smooth, i felt like i had found dat one special and perfect lady and we talked about everything and anything and even promised we’d never let anyone or anything break us up. Well dat was not the case coz i’m her now sharing my relationship break-up with all of u my fellow comrades in heartbreak… anyways while we were going out I found out that she had lied to me about her graduation yr from high school and even her age, but it was not a big deal to me and I even confronted her jokingly and told her to be upfront with me about it and she kept on denying and even swore with God’s name. I am a christian and i take dat really seriously, because if u can swear with such a little thing, wat else have u sworn about in the past big or small dat is true? anyways dat was our first break-up, but i took her back again after she came crying to me and i really love this girl its like a drug. Well i took her back after a day of our first break up and from then on things just were never the same… it got worse and I found out also that she was not honest with my about her college she was gonna enroll in and I just had it and called her one day and told her it was best we were friends and to my surprise she agreed with me… anyways i know from hearing my story u guyz mite think i’m a fool, but i still love dis girl ironically and i actually just saw her today face to face for the first time since we started going out in a yr and i couldn’t hold back my tears coz of the sadness and love i was feeling at da moment, we even kissed and I made the mistake already of asking her if we would ever be in a relationship again… Well guys my situation is a very messed up one…pls somebody tell me wat to do coz i really need to move on but don’t know how but i’m still in love with her????

  31. Ken Says:
    August 7th, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    I broke up with my gf a few days ago. We had only been going together for a month. But in that month, we spent a lot of time together. We saw each other at least three times a week for 6-8 hours on average. We slept over each others houses. It felt like we’d dated for many months when we broke up. She was stressed out from this very large renovation project at her hotel. She would come home crying from the stress.That, and she had no time for me, working as much as she did. Also, I go back to college next month on top of working full time. And money was tight for both of us.
    My immediate assumption was that I did something wrong. For the next couple days I called her and texted her, telling her how I missed her. She started ignoring me at that point. In that time, I decided that I would give her the space she needs. I also realized that I needed to take some time to heal emotionally and learn to love myself. I understand now that I was dependent on the love of others to feel good about myself. It has now been four days and I am okay with the breakup. I may try to get back together with her in the future. I just don’t know how long I should wait. Was this just a fling? I doubt it. There was so much more than just sex to our relationship. there was a deep connection. What do you think? Is this worth saving? Or should I move on?

  32. imissrpk105 Says:
    August 22nd, 2010 at 7:43 am

    Hey guys, I’m a girl but I’m in a similar situation. My ex boyfriend, whom I was with for 2 years is in regular contact with me. He initiates contact via chat or text, phone calls sometimes. I did the whole no contact rule thing & it has been 8 weeks since we broke up. I’ve seen him briefly after a random request to accompany him to Best Buy to pick up a keyboard. He wants to see me & comes up with so many silly suggestions/excuses such as visiting me at work or me picking up stuff from his apartment I gave him the go-ahead to trash now that he’s moving out of his apartment: “do you want to come by & pick up the spices/condiments/your missing sock/borrow my mini fridge/your broken printer, etcetera since I’m moving out?” His conversations beat around the bush to talk to me, like last week he went on & on about how he burnt his tongue on pizza & was overjoyed to swipe an umbrella someone left in a taxi… He also gives me compliments on my achievements at work & looks from FB pics online.

    HOWEVER he’s the one that broke up with me, humiliated me, made me feel like crap by pointing out everything about wrong with me, demonized us our relationship b/c we went through a rough patch for the two weeks I lived with him while I was unemployed. He went on & on about how dysfunctional we were when our overall relationship didn’t even have that many arguments, but full of wonderful memorable moments together. He told me ahead of time he runs away from his problems… He’s ended all of his relationships on his terms b/c ran away before they could resolve issues. These “issues” also occur during finals weeks, NYS Bar exam prep, and any other stressful period. I knew this & I knew we’d be on good terms after the bar, but he called it quits before I could try to work it out.

    So now we’re on this whole friend thing and talk for 1-2 hours a week about stuff we’d usually discuss (job, friends, politics, movies, music, cooking, ECT…yep, he’s my best friend). I miss him dearly & still love him. I’m dying to see him; however, I don’t wish to bring about an emotional meltdown on myself like I did when we broke up, which can last anywhere from 3 hours to 3 weeks.

    He’s currently dating & fucking some girl he became friends with right before our breakup. It’s hard to tell if he genuinely likes her b/c I don’t ask too many questions. He did blurt out when we were breaking up towards the end of my stay with him that he didn’t even really like her, but was using her as scapegoat to spend time away from me, but that was 8 weeks ago. What if she’s grown on to him? Does he genuinely still care about me, does he still love me? If so, with all the baby steps of being friends, is there chance we’ll get back together? I feel like this new girl is a rebound/convenience to wean his attachment to me. I’m his friend now but if I stick around while doing the whole “get your sexy-back, go out& have fun, workout, date new guys & yada yada,” will that make him re-fall in love with me again permanently? What should I do???

  33. jhay Says:
    September 9th, 2010 at 4:49 am

    My ex girlfriend broke up with me cus I cheated on her, I found this great website called saveabreakup.com , I followed all the instructions on it and it helped me get back with my ex, now we’ve been together for almost 2 years. :)

  34. Alfonso Says:
    September 10th, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Get over your ex and move on to the next!

  35. d3ath Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 5:17 am

    Question: I met up with my ex girlfriend, who is married now. She is the one who wanted to meet me and talk to me. Everything went well. First mistake I made was, I asked her while I was walking her to the car. That “Why did she do this?” She was silence and answerd: “one day you will find out, Why I did this.” Then she hanged me and said enjoy your trip.
    The second mistake I think I did was, I called her today at 1:20am and talked to her. She was surpprised by call. We just had normal talk. Very casual. Then I asked her if I should let go back to sleep since I woke her up. She was like yes her eyes was burning and would like go back to sleep. So I told her nice talking to you, have a good night. She said you too, take care, talk to you soon. Nite.

  36. craig mcleod Says:
    October 24th, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    need help asap ive been with my fience for 4 and a half years 2 years ago i cheated on her and i regret it to this very day it took mea month to get her back then i showed her it was a mistake and built my trust but now a week ago i found ot she has been seeing my best freind behind my bk when iam at work she doesnt want anything to do with him anymore but she doesnt want me back she loves me but not in love with me she says she cant see it work i love her to bit but she just wants to try be freinds we r meeting up for the first time in 2 days and iam planing on staying cool like the person she first met but iam so scared ive lost her for good please someone help

  37. rea Says:
    November 3rd, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    hi im a japanese! i broke up with my bf for 10mnths ago, and after we brke up we still see each other until now, but its very hard for me because i still don’t know he feeling with me, i know that he don’t love me anymore but i keep asking to myself why he still seeing me, we still sleep together but no making love anymre, we still kiss, and i think i can feel that still care for me, but i don’t if he care, when i told him to call me he will call, when i told him to go my place he will go, but if i never contact him he will not contact me too, really i dont understand his feeling for me, can u you guys answer it wat was that? what the meaning of that?

  38. BBOY Says:
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:00 am

    Hello fellow heart patients. Here’s my story and see if it helps anybody who is going through the same thing. I was with my girl for close to two years, I found out she went out with a friend of ours to visit another friend of ours. I was calling her at night that night to say Goodnight, she said the next day she passed out. Well she is a musician and the next day at her gig I spoke to the guy and he said they went to a bar to see another friend. (I know nothing happened, I trust her and she not the one to have sex with other people) but that lie festered in me. I spoke to her that night about it and she said she was sorry for lying and that she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. But that festered in me during the summer and boiled over into September when I wanted space from her. It got turned around on me and I was the one being broken up with it felt like cause after the break up I realized how wrong I was. We had a good sex life, never hardly argued about anything and everything was good. She said she needed space after I broke up with her, I found myself saying WTF. I never bothered her after that except by text once in awhile, never saw her never sent gifts and never stalked her. We did have some text fights that turned heated moments of anger, but we would always say sorry and I would leave her alone another 4days. PLEASE GUYS GIVE HER SPACE! IT DOES NOT SHOW RESPECT TO HER IF YOU CANNOT RESPECT HER WISHES, GET IT - GOOD THINK ABOUT IT CLOSELY! So the break up was Sept. 28th and it is now Nov. 30th. I spoke her today and apologized for the way I acted and told her I’m happy and thanks for the break up it helped me improve myself. She was very thankful and was nice over the phone and even invited me to her next gig in Hollywood. I plan to go to it, but with a new attitude and outlook on the future and not the past. I don’t plan on bringing anything up and just be cool, calm and collective. We were so perfect for each other and loved each other allot. So I know if I act like I did when we first met everything will be ok. So guys - do not act like a sissy when talking to her on the phone, women need men and not puppies, trust me on this. How do they expect to marry you when act like a puppy in love, they need protectors and a MAN. TRUST ME TRUST ME TRUST ME. My chest is killing me with pain from being away from her, but you cannot show it. God I wish I saw the NC rule earlier on, it wouldn’t have made it any harder than it already is. Good luck MEN?

  39. Jak Says:
    December 12th, 2010 at 5:04 am

    I am experiencing the same as everyone of you here, I don’t know why suddenly my relationship of 2 years turns out so cold. She avoids me and insisted that she needs space. We “broke up” because I kept on pressurizing her for an answer and a chance. Even though we said break up, I know it’s not over. I contacted her after 1 week, bugging her…she said if I keep on doing it, she will never see me again. That’s yesterday and guess what, she just messaged me if I want dinner tonight. But she said if I wanna answer, then we shouldn’t meet up. Guys, I think we should hang in there. Bugging or begging, whichever will not help. Take care and there are more in this world for us, cherish your life.

  40. BBOY Says:
    December 15th, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Well, here I am again, just wanted to give an update to number #38. I went there and played it cool and was about to leave and I told her that I needed to talk to her. She blew up in my face and told me to get in my car and go home. She brought up all kinds of bullshit small things I did. I went home that night relieved that is was over finally, and didnt care. The next morning she called to apologize to me about what she did last night. She said she doesn’t want to lead me on anymore. I told her to get her things from my house because they brought feelings up and I wanted to move on. It’s been a push and pull sort of break up. She wrote me a letter when I ask for my car keys back saying she still loved me and wishes the best for me in my life and wish that what we planned work out. I have never really told her that I wanted to be back with her even though I do because she makes me happy. This week I have finally let her go and I do not feel anymore pain and will try to make myself better. I realize that I had a bad pot habit and it me distant from her. I met a girl that I dated in my 20’s and she stuck up for me and wrote a nasty email to my ex. My ex texted me and said how could you be so close to her but yet so distant from me. I felt bad about the email, goes to show you that you cannot trust even your ex to confide in things. I know she meant well, but it didnt help my situation. Her friend is picking the remaining stuff from my house today so I can finally let go. The relationship I will always cherish and maybe who knows what will happen, but till then I will leave her alone for good and work on myself.

  41. atul Says:
    December 28th, 2010 at 6:06 am

    my GF just dumped me on text. it sound wierd but thats what the reality is as i was in long distance relationship. after few days i send a message that i think she was right and it was a good decision to breakup. i m glad we broke up..
    but she didnt even replied me back???
    what should i expexct ?? its almost a week.

  42. John Mccain Says:
    January 1st, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    Haha I did everything this list said not to do now were married and she’s Pregnant with my kid. I guess that goes to show every relationship is different and true love prevails. This list is pretty superficial, this is more like how to bang a one night stand again not how to get a girlfriend back in my opinion atleast.

  43. dragonball Says:
    January 17th, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    Hi I broke up with my girlfriend a year ago because of some misunderstandings. Ever since then we kept in touch at least once every two or three months like friends. During this time I asked her if we could meet up sometime but she kind of brushed me off and it never happened. A few months ago we were texting and I told her that I still miss her and that she misses me too. After that we started texting a bit more often and then stopped for a few months again. Then randomly on a Saturday night around 11pm she surprised me and text me. She told me that she wanted to go out dancing with her best girlfriend but she couldn’t, so they just had a few drinks. She asked what was I doing and wanted to meet up shortly because she had to go and pick up her mother. I very excited agreed and went out with her for a few drinks. Everything went fine we kept it short, good conversation, good chemistry, laughter, and remembered the good times we had. However now after reading this I think I probably did a mistake because I did mentioned that I still missed her lot. I felt it was the right moment and it came out naturally and spontaneous.
    Anyway I thought she really wanted me back but she surprised me when she asked how many girls I dated during this time and why am I still single. I told her the truth and said that I dated 5 girls but didn’t like them for a girlfriend. Then I asked her the same question and she told me that she’s been dating this guy for a while and that things are going well between them. I was shocked and a little sad and told her that he is a lucky guy and hope things work out between them. She did notice my change and told me not to be upset with her. The night ended she dropped me home but before I left she asked me if I still had her pictures, I said yes and we looked at some of them on my phone. She said she had a good time and that it was nice seeing each other again. We said goodbye and then I left.
    After that night I felt very confused and for some reason I don’t believe that she is going out with somebody else. I think she had her reasons for lying to me so that I won’t try to do anything too soon, and to make me a bit jealous. Because why will she want to see me on a late Saturday night after a few drinks with her best friend if she has a new boyfriend? She was obviously thinking about me or horny but we could do anything because she wanted to keep it short. She also wanted to go out dancing with her best girlfriend like she is looking for a new boyfriend. And if she does have a new boyfriend why does she want to see her ex-boyfriend? If it is true I feel like she may be with him but she is thinking about me. Anyway the point is that I do want her back and I think she wants me back too. However I don’t know how to go about this. I don’t know if should ask to see her again or just wait to see if she gets back to me or just forget about her. Please give me some advice!

  44. Crispin Says:
    January 20th, 2011 at 4:13 am

    wish i could work it out, im 42 travelled
    quite a bit,wasn’t looking for relationship then bang, met the most amazing girl. we was together for 17 years one day she invited me to a friends house then told me to go! spent Christmas and new year with her this year,now few texts 20 days on and she asks to meet for coffee think i messed up by saying il meet you in an hour you know me. hopefully we will meet up and be cool but how old you are dosnt exactly make you wiser when it comes to the heart and love.

  45. Rosie Says:
    January 24th, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    Need an advise, I dated this guy for a short time, but it was something almost formal ’cause he came home couple of times and we ate with my son and my mother at my house, however was never official; but we had great time toghether and I am more than sure that he developed deep feelings for me as well. But then he started to distant, ignoring my calls, and spending less time with me, I asked him why, but did not get any conclusive answer. So one day I that I havent speak to him in 2 days, I called, he did not answer, then called him back like 10 times more I’m not a stocker, but at that point I wanted to know something conclusive..just when I started to worried that something bad might had happen to him, I saw him on a taxi, I then realized that he was just willingly ignoring me. It was never a verbal ending,I just did not answer him so he stop calling; so, 5 months after (last week) after no contact at all, he sent me a text saying ‘I am sorry for the hard times, u always on my heart’; ‘I answer next day: you were already forgiven, no problem’. He hasn’t text, or call after that, me either.
    I really want this guy back, but I want him to commit, but what do I do to get him more interested? well that is if he contact me again., but should I contact him if he doesn’t? grrr…I don’t really want to mess this one, please give me your advice. I thank you in advance.

  46. a heart broken guy Says:
    January 26th, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    I’ve with my girl for two years already. She began to change since she goes into this college. Well. Things finally came to an end during christmas eve. We talked about it last week. And she said she got no more feelings to me. the distance was keeping us apart and don’t have time for me. We’ve been through it when i’m in college until i graduated. But when she goes in to the college, she changed. I really love her. I really want her back so badly. She began to ignore me right after we sort things out. What should i do? I need advice real bad. And i want her back into my life.

  47. billybob Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    Hey guys. I just went thru a painful breakup. I’ve finally found that the best cure for the breakup blues is to just go back to what you did before you got with her. Go have fun. Try not to think about her and maybe even go meet new people. Besides if you broke up with her once there is a big chance you’ll break up with her and put yourselves thru all this agony again. It’s really not always worth the effort of trying to get back with her. Good Luck to all of you

  48. koe Says:
    March 2nd, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    let me says something i have been with this girl for two years and show how much i love her ,care for her in fact we use to spend at least four hours in the phone talking at night with no sleep at all and right now she broke up with me because of her father but to tell you the truth if she did love she would be strong and work that out with me with her parents and she was like is best for her and for me then after the break up she ask me if i want to speak to the dead what is the whole point of me talking to him is over between us and she was like right now is not the right time for us to be together and we should wait for the right moment because she is a christian and not allow to have a boyfriend right now but willing to be friend with me and my answer was no because i can not be friend with my ex girl and yes i would wait for her but she did not have to ended this way and i remember she promised to me she would fight to be with me i guess not let me tell you what i did you got only one life to live and yes is hard but you have to move on dont let another human messed up your life so i delete her facebook lists, no contacts at all because i know is the best for me and she was like i dont hate you there is no need for no contacts but you know what you left aint no way i could resist chatting , talking, seeing you knowing all i ever did was being faithful to her never cheated but you know what there is so much stuff you want to say to her after a break up but forget it is her decision to move on better yourself everyday life is short and you dont want to die knowing all you did is think about her put your chest up and im 20 and young also she about 18 but let me tell you she break up with me of her parents and choose not to stand up for herself to fight for me is her choice to be with me not her parents, friends, or anybody because no one know her heart and is hard for me but im getting better each day because i learn something to live life many girl are waiting for you so be a man and move on and one day i promised she would wonder why you dont want to be involve with her anymore .

  49. koe Says:
    March 2nd, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    i mean speak to the dad in sentence 7

  50. paschar Says:
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    Duno… I m meeting up with her and it’s really ackward =|

  51. calebonkauai Says:
    March 5th, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    hi i just moved to my grandparents from kauai im 13 and i was wonderin i dont remember what she likes other than telling me what shes whering at that time wich is starting to to annoy me how can i tell her to stop in a way that shel listen but she wont be mad at me

  52. calebonkauai Says:
    March 5th, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    oh by the way if u has answer send to gmail at caleb808@gmail.com

  53. kim Says:
    March 13th, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    me and my ex broke up 2 months ago and i been keeping NC. we were in a long distance relationship for 2 year. now i want to get my ex gf back but how do you make first contact after a period of NC
    when you live 6 hours apart? I been reading books saying that you should call them and make the call brief for like 5 minute and then try to ask your ex out for quick meeting. like go out for coffee. but a quick meeting is kinda difficult when you live 6 hours apart. what should I do

  54. hazza Says:
    March 15th, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    well my ex and i broke up almost a year ago now, was a 5 year relationship in that time we built a house together a life together, i ended up starting a new job on a 2 week on and 1 week off roster, which didnt help but even befor that things wernt right she started to become withdrawn and quiet, then i found out that she liked some guy from her work, i confronted her about it and she denied it but also said that she needed a break from me, she said she didnt know what she wanted anymore and was lost, this broke my heart deeply, then with having the house in joint name came the hard thing and stressfull time of working out what to do with it, i ended up paying her out and keeping the house, thats all done now and she now has her own place, this weekend im driving over to see her to drop of some things she still has had at my place for a year now, secretly i still love her no matter whats happened, i think about her every day and have had some hard days there for a while, i really want to tell her how i still feel about her and would love to catch up for a drink and just show that ill always be there for her, but really dont know if i should say nething, any surgesstions?

  55. Paul Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 10:45 am

    I am hanging out with my ex girlfriend next weekend for the first time in what will be six weeks. She’s angry with me because I was disrespectful to her in our relationship (things like joking when she tried to address an issue or ignoring her). How can I win her back if she’s mad?

    My girlfriend and I broke up on Valentine’s Day. We were together for three months (half of that as an official couple). I implemented NC for two and a half weeks after the breakup before calling. She called me back a few nights later and asked why I called. I invited her out for drinks, but all she said was, “I don’t know, I have a lot of work to do.” I called her about a week later and we talked about things for an hour and a half. I got emotional, tried to persuade her, begged, and cried on this call. She said very emotional things like, “I’m resentful and angry with you and that’s what it comes down to,” “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. Not now. Not ever” and “My feelings changed. You really hurt me.” But a lot of this contradicts other things she said during the call.

    She offered to meet up for tomorrow to talk about things more. The first time she offered, our conversation was cool and casual (about 30 minutes in). An hour later, while I was crying, I asked her if I could still see her and she said yes. She’s been somewhat evasive and challenging since (answering my call with a text, and asking me to call, then not answering or calling back). How should I approach this meeting?

  56. Paul Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 10:46 am

    Sorry we’re meeting tomorrow 3/19 not next weekend.

  57. Paul Says:
    March 20th, 2011 at 9:40 am

    She was very cold to me during our brief one hour talk, which was the same as the 90 minute phone call. I cried and told her about how she was my first girlfriend and the first girl to tell me she loves me. She rolled her eyes at me, acted indifferent, and wouldn’t even let me touch her (I asked to hold her hands and to hug her and she said no or pulled away every time). She didn’t seem to care about my feelings at all. She insisted that her feelings changed and that she forgives me, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to get back together.

    Can this be saved? I just want to get my girlfriend back.

  58. Shihab Says:
    March 26th, 2011 at 7:03 am

    Her name is Angel(Not a Real Name). With love i call her Angel. I love her and she loves me much more than i do.The problem is that i don’t know why i always use to fight with her for silly reason which i don’t want to. Please give me some suggestion that i must not fight with her. I think it may because of i love her more.
    Just was going through the sight so i thought to leave a comment.
    thank you…

  59. Ananya Says:
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:24 am

    me and my girlfriend had dated for like 1.5 years and i had been her best friend since a long time ! it was this ear back we had started to date ! now their were many complications and things that tore it apart ! but the only issue is she still feels for me and does wanna get back but can’t as she feels it would go no where and wants to move on ! well the problem with this is that she does not want me to leave her since she says she trusts me blindly and does not want to get hurt ending up doing something wrong , and so she wants me to be their with her throughout !
    she has told me that she has three guys in her mind and she has decided to date them to move on ! now the problem is , i can’t say no to her since she cries every time i tell her that i want to move on and so staying with her would hurt me ! and also i don’t know what and why does she need me for ! i don’t wanna be the one standing back watching her move on and crying back for her ! so please help , what to do !

  60. Ananya Says:
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:29 am

    by the way we cant meet that often , unless their are some issues solved amongst our families ! and also i don’t want her to get serious with any other guy nor do i want her to even think about getting physical , but i guess she has already thought about it ! she has her exams in may , 2011 and plans to move on before her exams !

  61. SadSista26 Says:
    April 29th, 2011 at 2:13 am

    I have been through everything in the breakup book. Not fun at all. My ex left me out of the blue for something he couldn’t get over. Very long story nobody probably has time to hear about. I’ll try to keep it as brief as possible. Long story short, my ex and I were not together when I got pregnant and I guess I pretty much blocked out that I had even slept with my son’s real dad so I basically thought my current ex was his father. I know I know, I bet everyone is like “how the heck do you forget something like that??” Sounds crazy, but it happened. My ex and I were having problems and I got mad one day and started running my mouth saying how our son wasn’t his (which he wasn’t, I just did not know it yet). He got a paternity test behind my back and the day he got the results, he showed them to me. I thought it was some sick joke he was playing…..Did I mention we got back together a couple days after the breakup? He decided to keep the paternity thing a secret until the results. I told him I was sorry, even though I didn’t know what the hell I was apologizing for in the first place because I had forgotten ever having slept with my son’s real father. But whatever.

    My ex chose to stay with me of his own free will and said he was happy to be in my son’s life no matter what. Said he loved me and my other son which is 8. Three months passed, then he left me without saying anything. Moved out of his own house!!! I do still want him back, but he is so damn sketchy and weasles his way around stuff I ask him like if he still cares for me and if he still loves me. He never gives a full straight answer. I get so mad. I can’t get over him, but I think he is over me. I know I can get any man I want, but I don’t want anyone else. I pressure him without realizing it. Making him feel guilty as well. It sucks. Will he ever get over the baby issue? I never cheated on him. I don’t know what to do.

  62. KLA Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 1:44 am

    I have a question i met my ex after 5 month of breakup but all these times we have been talking to each other all the time (he broke up with me ) after fights and argues we remain as a “friends” (we call it friends but we all know its bulllshit) so i asked him to let meet up for some coffee havent seen each other so long so he agreed and we met each other today and it was nice, we talked about each others life were joking around and was really nice meeting actually he was a one who said first lets go now im tired …. when we left (we live in a same neighborhood) so we had to go same way i live couple of blocks away from him so he says all of a sudden ill go another way i was like why? he says (smiling not angry way ) i wanna be alone he was acting weird i was like whats wrong with u i havent see u so long we both have a same ride so what is that mean u gonna go another way why r u acting so weird? he goes like we havent seen each other so long , thats normal cause we r not together i was like okkk i know so u are alone so what it has to do now u going from another way? when we both have a same way home…he realized that he was acting wrong and smiled and changed the subject….So what is that mean? he isnt over it and he couldnt hide i think that he got emotional this is what i think….
    when i got home i BBM him saying _it was nice to see u cb;) (we used to call each other cbgb and i wrote it on that message just wanted to be a warm message didnot had any other intention at all, really ) and he goes like _ it was nice to see u too but i dont want u to have a wrong idea, Please. I was like Nooo what r u talking about not at all!!! he said Ok.
    I would be glad to hear other peoples opinion about this whole things.

  63. abhi Says:
    June 6th, 2011 at 7:58 am

    thnx for these advice. it had helped me a lot.

  64. @KLA Says:
    June 20th, 2011 at 7:59 am

    this sucks i experiences the very same thing however my guy is not ready to be back together even thought he has feelings.we had same exact convo going on u should of kept quiet even thought i know u must of felt terrible i did too..u should of not asked why he s actign strange and weird.
    please girls realise that men have specific way of putting women into cathegories and they just wait for the opportunity to eleminate someone on basis of being too emotional.they want us to be tought and very sweet and yet never pushy .
    mine has said to me milion times that i m pushing to get bk togeter while i was just being the same like before break up .
    i m guessin men once its over for them its over for REAL!

  65. Panda Says:
    June 22nd, 2011 at 9:15 am

    yea im goin through it too people you are not alone there a probably millions of us out there , & yea it does suck , in the past 2 years 5 family members have past away & when my girl left me it was the same feeling, possibly worse. ive found it farkin hard to concentrate & focus on what i should be doing & at the moment my life does’nt really have that much meaning. anyway i hope the rest of you have better luck

  66. Lucas Says:
    June 30th, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Hey Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year and we moved away from each other after high school graduation about a month ago. We live about 250 miles apart. We were both madly in love, the night before i left she was crying in my arms for like 10 minutes when we said our last goodbyes. We have been long distance for a month. She told me a couple days ago that she doesn’t love me anymore but she feels I am her best friend. Before the break up we planned a visit for me come visit her for a week during july 4th. Her mom tells me that she is acting like this because she hasn’t seen me in so long. The day of the break up and the day after i would call and beg her to take me back. I am trying to limit my contact with but at the same time show her that still want to be with her. What should i do when i go down there. We agreed to talk about our relationship when i go down there. She also with her friend at the moment who is prolly just filling her ear up with shit like its fine you don’t need him or stuff like that. Should i try and win her back? I kno she still truly loves. i just think she is confused. Hopefully when i come visit her she will realize how great we are together.

  67. Jojoe Centeno Says:
    June 30th, 2011 at 10:44 pm

    I had been looking for my ex girlfriend for 25 years and the came when I finally found her, I apologized for everything I did, we had a short meeting, since she is based abroad, now we constantly send each other messages through facebook and text messages. She is in a complicated relationship with her husband (divorce on process when I found her). Am I just a friend or she is looking for a relationship.

  68. Hammy Havoc Says:
    August 15th, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    I wish that I had read this two years ago. I delved straight into why we broke up and thus there was a very negative atmosphere.

  69. Joshua Says:
    August 25th, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    This has just happend to me and my Ex split up and this happend at a time just before a vacation that had been planned ages ago and now she is back from her holiday she has texted me asking to meet up.REALLLY!!!!!!! excited but i dont want to get my hopes up because im not sure what she wants to talk about but thanks for the tips I will try remeber them.

  70. Joseph Says:
    September 16th, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    my ex girl left me i messed up pushed her into another guys arm idk what can i do or where to start to get her back she wants friendship i cant do dat i rather go away but i want another chance she broke up with me over something childish

  71. ceraquene Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 7:02 am

    i recently met my ex together with my rival i felt so embarassed but i had to greet them now, i keep on recalling how we broke up though am comfortable with my new relationship but why do i still remember this. please help me.

  72. gjk Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 7:12 am


  73. happiness Says:
    March 21st, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    thank you for the time you have given me to help make me a better person and make much more and see much more in my life. I knew I had personal problems. I guess I did not want to see what the truth was about my direction in life and why I was doing certain things. Your insight and genuine ability to be able to see what the real situation is with me is helping me overcome the boundaries I have right now. I know it will not be easy the path I have chosen but at least now I do know what path I want to be on., Thanks to you I know a little bit about myself enough to help me make changes within. Thank- you once again.It really is a big big help to have you in my life and on my side. I will forever be grateful to you

  74. Brice Says:
    July 5th, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Can anyone explain this to me please?

    I had a 9 month relationship with a girl (28yo i i am 27yo), and we had a time of our life, planned stuff, geting married, everything with clear mind… Few months ago my ex started to harrasing me with calls and sms’s and my girlfriend found about that (i didn’t share it right with her because i was stupid enough to think i am protecting her, etc.) We went trough a hard fight for 1-2 days and everything was back on tracks.

    Yesterday, my EX called my girlfriend telling her we never broke up, and we are in 6 year relationship, and now she knows that my girlfreind and me dating for sure and she will left me with all luck to my GF and me. My girlfriend was pissed mad at me, drove off home, things like that, and then i manage to spoke that night with her about things and everything was tensed a lot but generally ok and i know it will be fine. Today my GF called me with crying voice saying it is best that we don’t hear from eachother anymore. Few hours after that my EX called my GF again!!! Saying that she want to make things right but she add more and more bullshT to my girlfriend (we slept together, he is at my home everyday, bla bla bla). And my GF called me and furiously shouted at me sayin’ don’t ever call me again we are finished finished finished. Erased me from FB few mins ago along with friends we know (my friends)…her trust is gone 2nd time in our relationship.

    So i really am confused and want to know how to solve this.

    This is my #2 error with EX calls and stories (my GF looks at it that way)

    Can anyone help?

  75. Dina25 Says:
    October 4th, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago,we been together since 4 years, after our Anniversary things turned upside down between us, since then we have spoke through text messages but never seen each other actually he asked me to meet with him
    What should I do?

  76. Havoc Says:
    November 12th, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    Hey I need help.

    Me and my ex gf where going out for a year and a half, living together for over a year now and she broke up with me last week after an argument. I didn’t see it coming at all and even before she ended it she was calling me love and babe. Then she ended it, saying she needs space and not to talk to her but to call her in two weeks. I had to pack a few things then and stayed at a friends house hurting like hell.

    The next day I went back to clean out the rest of my things, she was there which I didn’t think she would be as I thought she would have been at work. When I got to the house all the pics of us where still up and nothing had changed in the living room. I walked into the bedroom an she was there. I apologised and told her I wanted to give her the space she wanted. She said it was fine love and that I could stay to get my things. We began talking and I asked her if she wanted to loose me and she said no. We then spoke some more me saying that she is an amazing girl an I don’t want to through it all away etc etc. she said that she can’t see where the relationship is going, to which I replied who can life is an adventure and you don’t get off at the first rock in the road. She also said that she shouldn’t have to nag me all the time which I replied I am male and not a mind reader. She also said that when I do change it’s only for to weeks then its back to normal which is a lie. I do everything for her and more, she hardly lifts a finger in the house. Before I left she said that she would go get me a game I pre ordered and that she didn’t mind an called me love again. The last thing I heard from her bar good bye was that its not bat she does not love me its just that there are problems.

    What should I think really?? Is there any hope for us or am I just clutching at straws?? We have a joint account together that she has used while I have been away from her, but when I spoke to the bank about the joint account they said there had been no contact from her and the same was with the lease that I am on with her.

    Or is it that its all over and the lease and joint account thing will be sorted when I meet up with her?? My head is just a mess at the moment and I am going round in circles.

  77. Alex Says:
    November 21st, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    Okay so heres my story. im a sophomore in college and shes a senior in high school. our 2 year was oct 21 2012 and she was here for the weekend, everything was going great.im her first bf and we were eachothers first for everything physically. im at u of i and shes gonna be going to mizzou, which is about a 4 hour distance between eachother. on oct 31 2012 she said she wanted a break to find herself cause she wanted to see if she could be happy being single. the first couple days i acted clingy and needy but on nov 2 2012 we stopped talking. then on nov 14 2012 she txted me asking how i was doing and to bring back her class ring cause i was coming home nov 16 for thanksgiving break. so nov 15 2012 i got super drunk and drunk dialed her, i have no idea what i said. then on nov 16 2012 i got a txt from her reading”hope you had a good night….” i told her i didnt remember calling her and that i was sorry if i said anything mean or hurtful, but she still sounded upset over the few txts we sent. then on nov 17 2012 she txted me asking to meet up so i could give her her class ring back. we met up at a coffee place for about 15 min. i cut it off short so we didnt catch up too much after the 1st meeting with eachother. we jsut small talked about school,family,and about her showchoir. i shared a couple funny stories and a couple things abot me but not too much. when i said i had to go i said it was nice to see her and that we should do it again soon. i gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. do you think that was a good 1st meeting? just wanted some input on how you think the situation is going. also what should i expect coming up? im worried that my drunk dial mightve ruined my chances of getting back with her but im not completely sure.i still want to be with her so im still gonna continue the no contact until she contacts me next cause we havent talked since the meeting on nov 17 2012. any suggestions would be helpful as well, thanks.


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