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How To Win Her Back - One Thing She Never Wants You To Say

By Dr. George Karanastasis

How To Win Her BackIf you’ve recently broken up with a girl and have tried to win her back then it’s safe to assume you’ve experienced your fair share of rejection.

Furthermore, I can bet with complete certainty that whatever you’ve attempted so far has failed to change her mind about getting back together.

You wouldn’t be reading this otherwise, right? You want to know how to win her back. Well that’s exactly what this post will teach you. However, instead of sugarcoating your situation, I’m going to give it to you straight.

The reason you can’t break through to her is because you’re taking the wrong approach. Most likely you’ve tried begging and pleading your way back into her heart. Unfortunately, that’s not going to cut it. All you’re doing is decreasing your chances of a future reunion.

And do you know why? Because women despise desperate, needy men. However, in spite of this fact they welcome all the attention they can get - from you or any other guy.

Now here’s some food for thought: what if you stopped showering her with attention from one day to the next? What do you think would happen then?

Before I reveal the answer to you I want to tell you a little story.

About a week ago one of the members of the Makeup Board had a conversation with his ex girlfriend. She called to see how he was doing. He told her he was fine. Naturally you’d expect her to be happy about this but to his amazement she was shocked… shocked to discover that he was OK with the breakup.

But wait a minute missy? Aren’t you the one who broke up with him in the first place? Why then does this news come as such a surprise?

Regardless, he got to witness firsthand what I’ve known for years: the moment your ex realizes that you could care less about the relationship the tables start to turn - she’ll start coming towards you in hopes of a resolution. And while this is not the be-all, end-all of relationship repair, it’s a huge step in the right direction.

And it’s easy to see why when you take the following fact into consideration: everyone wants to be desired whether the feeling is mutual or not. So even though your ex might be rejecting you, she still wants you to want her. It helps her to get over you and move on altogether.

Now, how can you use this fact to your advantage? The answer: go with the tide - not against it. The next time you come in contact with your ex girlfriend tell her that you’re doing just fine.

However, before you proceed with this approach I want to leave you with these two important tips:

  1. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it - she’ll see right through you and it will backfire
  2. Don’t contact her to give her the news of how great you’re doing without her - let her come to you first

Finally, if you need more help with this counter-intuitive yet dramatically effective approach, have a look through my free report on how to win her back that breaks this process down even further.

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55 Responses to “How To Win Her Back - One Thing She Never Wants You To Say”

  1. dave hopper Says:
    March 10th, 2008 at 10:36 am

    so my girl offed me for some older guy! and they dont have much in common at all? i dont get it! yet im quite sure she wants to stay friends! i have recently ignored her texts and emails! and even the birthday card she sent me! i know i was always too available for her and realize that now! does me shutting her out now help or hurt my chances of being with her again? thanks hop

  2. chelsea Says:
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:19 am

    Well I just got dumped and I try so hard not to call or text.one day iam fine the next iam not.I keep giving in on calling him, but he never answers. So my advice that am learning just let go and let her come.or els your gonna be hurt with dissapointment as I am as I wright this!

  3. Lizzie Says:
    January 29th, 2009 at 5:54 am

    Actually this is like pretty wrong. Hearing that a guy is totally okay with the break up isn’t gonna make her ‘want you again’. That only applies to girls who like having men for the sake of having a boyfriend/lover. If a girl is truly interested, she would be hurt that the guy was totally okay without her. Girls do need to be shown that you need them.

  4. Nelson Says:
    February 22nd, 2009 at 3:53 am

    I had been dating my girlfriend for over 2 years now and caught here not even a week ago with another man. I am devastated and never expexted that from her as shoe really loved me & lived for me. I can say she is very special to me and I do love & care for her. Problem is during our relationship I never showed it in the way she wanted it to be shown and I never saw her as much as as she wanted too see me. I trusted here with friends and gave here plenty alone time… she told that I was not possessive which I am not to a certain extent and told me I dont care or love her the same way she does for me. Please can you advise me if you think I have a chance of getting her back? What steps should I take? Will I regret the decision of going back?

  5. sean Says:
    March 17th, 2009 at 10:31 am

    my girlfriend and i just took a short break. she had lied to me and i got mad and decided we needed a break. we got back together and she still loves me but she said that it would be a while before she could be the same with me like she was. while i understand this it kills me inside because i never ment to hurt her. i want to know what i can do to speed this process up. a reply would be greatly appreciated. thank you

  6. michael Says:
    April 17th, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    please email my myyspace.i had her and i did a speech to her.she liked it but then she went out with my best friend.now me and my best friend r enemys.one day i told him “she broke up with u” and he took it serious.i told my ex “hes cheating on u”.they both found out and i feel like a looser.i plane on telling her this…I am an idiot and I’m sorry because I did’nt think my actions through and such more.should i do this?

  7. Max Says:
    June 9th, 2009 at 9:58 am

    I have been dating this girl for two and a half years i found out that she kissed some guy at a bar and i was totally mad so we had a fight and broke up, but than we got back together and tried to work things out slowly, and she left me within a week after because she said she wasn’t ready. I was able to forgive her eventhough everyone knew but she said she was not ready to face people and wasn’t happy and regrets that moment, but she syas she loves me but doesn’t feel anything, withing this week she said that she has never been so unsure of something in her life. so What do I do? I haven’t contacted her in any way what will happen in the mean time, and what do you think is the end result. thanks.

  8. Charlie Says:
    August 7th, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    It was my fault i had an affair,we’ve been together 17 years.Iknow it was my fault but i’m devestated and i need her back so much.This woman is my world and being without her is killing me.Trouble is some of her friends and family i know are involved and telling her not to have me back,i can’t do nothing about this,help me please.

  9. chris Says:
    March 1st, 2010 at 4:17 am

    well my ex-gf broke up with me after 1month 3weeks and 1day becuz her parents read some of her texts and did not like them and dissaprove of me… ive offered to talk to her parents but she says she doesnt know what i need to do and she just wants to be single. ive been told many things but idk what to beleive. she might just be playing a game with my head. i dont know what to beleive who to beleive or what to think plz help

  10. Nicolas Says:
    March 23rd, 2010 at 9:35 am

    ha so i read, this… took your advice, and believe it or not it did work for me… so im arguin with my ex, and shes calling me names, and out of nowhere shes like “you know nic, delete my number” So at this point i see this as the perfect oppurtunity to try and win her back, because although she can get mean at times, who cant? so i simply tell her “ok” and hang up. She sends me a text and says “dont talk to me anymore, your not good enough to have anyone else”. so 3 days later here i am. she sends me a text this morning, ” hey, how have you been” i simply say “pretty good, started talking to someone else.” Whats happening now? she wont stop blowing up my phone. She just sent me a text saying “Nic is this really how you want to end it?” haha wtf? your advice was genious.

  11. Josht92 Says:
    May 28th, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    well i am 17 years old and my now ex is 16 years old we loved eachother so much we wanted to be with eachother for the rest of our lives i am so in love with her well anyways on may 27 2010 she broke up with me she told me after not seeing eachother for two weeks i relized i dont know what i want i wanna be single and have fun we been together for a 1 year and 5 months our anne is on the 25th i want her back i tried so hard all she says is i wanna be single i dont wanna date anyone i wanna have fun i want my freedom

  12. John Says:
    May 30th, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Well, my GF of 2 years broke up with me. She said that she still has fealings for me but would like sometime for her. At first, i told her that if she needs sometime it will be ok with me. I told her that i didn’t undeastand that if she love me why to break with me. She was crying while she was tellig me all this. Telling that she was sorry. I said to her well if you do not want anything to do with me is ok, i will be happy with you or with out you.

    It has been now almost a week, i have call her two times just to ask her when was she going to pick up some clothes that she has in my place. She did not say when. I did not cry, begge, or ask her to take me back, even do i do really would like to stay a couple. Yesterday I send her i text telling here that i had two beautiful year and to thank her. Her response was Not need to thank me. I had decide not contact anymore for about a month. Hoping she will contact me sooner. Do you think I did the right approach to get her back?
    Thank you

  13. Damon Says:
    September 8th, 2010 at 1:17 am

    Look.. I was in a 3 yr realationship witha live in girlfriend… I sent flowers and i wrote a 2 page letter that took me 5hours to write i lost wait and couldn’t sleep, and im not over her by no means,,, You want to get your ex back.. heres how.. think about what you did wrong in the relationship, think back to when you first hooked up… if your really in love with her after your soul searching change.. give it time and let her see you for what you have become… you have to put actions behind your words….. I’m out

  14. stevoooo Says:
    September 16th, 2010 at 9:19 am

    i broke up with my ex and did the begging for her back bit which was totally wrong and all she said was leave me alone. Then i read this article changed my facebook to enjoying single life and a couple of girls commented on the status like i hope ur ok etc….next thing within like 20mins shes texting saying how happy shes is ive moved on and before that she wouldnt speak to me so i ignored her. Then she ring me crying saying how wrong i was to write that on facebook when shes not over me and how she never wants to see me again so i say im sory but i dont want to wait around if you dont want to be with me. then 3 hours later shes begging me to meet up with her to sort things out when in the morining she was saying its over for good. i cant believe this actually works thanks so much

  15. Daniel Says:
    September 17th, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Hey John, im going through what u went through a cpl of months ago. I was just wondering how everything turned out for you. I have not talked to my now ex in like five/six days, i am planning on giving her time. It may be a lil late but i have the hopes that i isnt. When she asked for time i didnt give it to her and looked for her way too much, now i am lost and dont know what to do.

  16. robert Says:
    November 15th, 2010 at 3:27 am

    I have a friend with benefits of 3 months but she is busy with work and school and says she does not want a long term relationship right now because she wants to focus on herself, however we were talking everyday and seeing eachother twice a week but I started getting closer to her and wanted more of her time but felt I was not being reciprocated so I over reacted and told her to delete my number and I would do the same and she said ok. The next morning I apoligized and accepted my apology and said she was sorry things ended the way they did. So, ask her if we can get past that comment and that I did not want it to end. She said that I ended it so she would not get back with me. We haven’t. Had contact with her for two days and don’t know what to do.

  17. David Lorenzano Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Recently I was contacted by and ex fiance who I haven’t seen in 41 years via Facebook. She broke off the wedding in 1969 8 weeks before the event, we both went our separate ways and have not seen each other since. We talked and I asked her if I could fly out to Dallas to see her, and she said fine. The initial meeting at the airport was very awkward but we got through it ok. As we talked I couldn’t help telling her how much I hated her. The problem was that I hated her not for the break-up but because for 41 years I couldn’t get over her. As i said those words to her I knew i was still in love with her. The purpose of my trip to see her was very simple, I had held on to the wedding ring that I bought for her 41 years ago and wanted to return it to it’s rightful owner. Trying not say the wrong things about how I felt about her only made things worse. Some men such as myself are romantics at heart we seize the moment never thinking of the consequences of what we say. I could see the look in her eyes when I gave her the ring she almost cried. She knew I was still in love with her. After the media wrote a very lovely story about our reunion I am back home thinking about her and yet as much as I want to text her and call her, it’s important to keep in mind that she needs time to think. I need for her to make the first move again and not feel the pressure I put her through when we were together. It’s been only two days since I spoke to her last and yet I miss her already. Am trying to be the so called BAD BOY with the attitude of I don’t care but deep down inside I know I am not that kind of person. I hope I here from her soon!!!!!!

  18. chirag Says:
    January 28th, 2011 at 8:00 am

    im 20 yrs old…..ihave been dating my ex since 3 yrs…….when we were in the same college……..now we are in diff cities n i recently had a break up with her coz i didnt give her space…i had this habit of doubtin on her n callin n texting her often,,,,wch was annoying for her…….nnow she says shez with sm other guy……at times wen shez at her house alone she talks 2 me wen i call her…else she doesnt spk..she acts rude….how do i get her back….shez my life

  19. Muhammad Says:
    February 1st, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    I followed the no contact rule and she called 3 times but i could not pick the call that moment so sent her a txt the next morning and try calling in the evenig but she never picked up. Am sooo confused. Should I still stop calling?

  20. Dr. George Karanastasis Says:
    February 1st, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    @ Muhammad: Yes, stop calling. The ball is in her court now. Be patient and let her get back to you. Good luck.

  21. Raju Says:
    February 2nd, 2011 at 11:06 am

    After I stopped contacting her, she started hints by pasting good pictures of her in the social networking site. Still I ignored, she sent me greetings, I reciprocated the same. one day I telephoned her but she did not pick up and did not chat with me. Then I sent her furious message that I will not disturb her again. whenever I met her online I avoided/ignored her. She again started sending hints. What should I do now ? Should I keep my tab messenger offline or online ?

  22. Cappter Says:
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:05 am

    Raju, it appears she is putting you out on what I like to call, the fishing line. Its where she is ready to let you go, nor does she want to pull you back in. I aqpologize but I have yet to find a way past this situation as I have many friends caught in the same limbo, unable to get the girl back, or have her move on. Albiet, some of my friends have trapped themselves in the firendzone. I’d say you should probably move on or find a way to meet up, alone (but not in a secluded area, park mabye) and talk face to face.

  23. paul oke Says:
    March 6th, 2011 at 5:57 am

    I was seriously ill last year and when I came out of hospital my wife of nine years spilt is up, I love her, has any one heard of a kind of post traumatic stress she was under a massive amount of stress me nearly dieing, having to sort kids and all the traveling 70 miles each way to hospital, she has said she has been unhappy for a long time but people have said she was so worried about you and we seemed like the perfect couple. Could stress be the reason and how do I get her to see it.

  24. Mike Says:
    March 10th, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    What everyone needs to know is each relationship is different. Both men and women need to understand that when you’re in relationship, if you do not have the same goals, then it won’t work. Sure, you may want to travel to Greece, and she may want to travel to Florida, but until you can mutually agree, then you are different. Relationships take time to develop. I was married for 16 years. What happen to my relationship? Well, my ex and I had different ideas, goals, and dreams. We never really got on the same page. I found myself as the one who always made the change or effort to make her happy. She never did it for me. Her opinion was that as long as she woke up with me next to her, she was happy. Relationships are more than what you have written about. The point is, everyday needs to be experienced as the first day of the relationship and the last. Always expect the worse and live for the best. By far the most important thing you can do is tell him or her you love them everyday and MEAN it.

  25. K Says:
    March 28th, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    I recently hung out with a girl for the first time and a day later I asked her on a second date while texting. She said O Hmm and I started sending texts telling her I liked her and all sorts of things. I know I messed something good up, but is there anyway I can fix this?

  26. Dave Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    My girlfriend recently broke up with me and said she needed space and time to think about our relationship because we got into a fight. The day after she broke up with me she started dating some other guy. I broke down and called and text her but I have stopped today I only did it for two days. If I continue to do this will she come back to me? I love her so much I am truly devastated with this whole situation I dunno what to do. Please get back to me on this. I want her back so badly. Thank you

  27. James Says:
    July 31st, 2011 at 2:12 am

    i recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years, we go to the same college, started dating after graduation. she split it off the day after our 2 year anniversary. 2 weeks prior, she told me she needed space, so i gave it to her. tried not to call or text her as much as i usually did. the day of our anniversary i tried contacting her to see what she wanted to do that night, but she didnt respond. the next morning i got a long text message saying her feelings had changed, shes thought long and hard hoping and wishing they would go back, but they didnt. she said i did nothing wrong, i had been an amazing boyfriend. she says she still loves me and always will. i had prepared myself once she said she needed space for a break up. i told her i understand and that im not going to try to argue with her or try to convince her otherwise because her mind was made up. she keeps texting me more than usual. she said she hopes her feelings return to how they were. i told her that i honestly couldnt be friends with her just for the fact that i would see her for what she means to me, and that wouldnt work on a friendship level. only time will tell what happens. i told her im destined to win her back. i said im not going to do anything spectacular or change who i am. being yourself really shows her what you meant to her. do not change who you are for anyone. ive been bringing up texts and memories from when we first started talking and dating and she said shes been in tears. im on the right path. win her over with kindness and compassion. dont be blunt and rude. that only will push her away. i hope things turn out in my favor. guys expect the worst and hope for the best. be optimistic.

  28. Moe Says:
    August 28th, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    hey, i was in a relationship for a year and two months. in the beginning iI made alot of mistakes. however she kept taking me back and i learned from my mistakes. but now two weeks ago she broke up with me after a two day argument and is claiming that she does not love me and that she does not even want to be friends, deleted me from facebook and twitter. for the first week i begged pleaded and even black mailed her. this caused her to go even farther away now im trying the no contact trick and wrote her a letter apologizing for my action and telling her that i am over the break up. my sister however still talks to her about me and she always tells my sister that she doesnt care about me and that we will never be anything again. she texted me today and asked how i was and i acted fine and dandy however she still doesnt want to be friends and says that she doesnt even like me as a friend. how can i get her back? is there hope? can someone help me please?

  29. John Says:
    September 15th, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    Dr. George I need your advice. I will start by saying for the past year I havr been in a long distance relationship. The two of us were absolutely amazing together. We never got in a fight, argument and so forth. We talked on the phone for hours every night and it was absolutely magical ever moment we were together in person. We started a few months ago talking about spending the rest of our lives together. While we wanted to wait for the year mark before we got engaged, conversations prior led us to both agreeing we were ready. In fact she said if you asked me today you know I would say yes. After a few weeks when she was back in town (shes military) I had the ring ready and asked her. We both cried and she said absolutely. She got deployed shortly after overseas. Everything was perfect but after a few weeks she just dissapeared for a week. Then I got the worst news ever over an email. She said things have changed and she did not know what she wants in life anymore but she knew one thing and that was she can not be engaged or in a relationship right now. And that after seeing the world she was not ready for any of this. I was devastated and made all thr mistakes you describe of course. I am moving out to where she is for the same period she is out there. I took the job knowing we were getting married and it would be so much easier on us. She has gone back and forth a few times on wanting to give us a secone chance, but a week ago she said it was over and she wants to give me the ring back in person and not ship it. She brought this up, not me. I could care less about the ring, all I care about is her. She is the nicest, sweetest most caring person I have ever met, but recently she seems to just be mad at me and blame me for innocent things I did such as take calls from friends and family. I would never do anything to hurt her. When she said a week ago its over for good, I thanked her for all the amazing times, told her how proud I am of her, and said she deserves nothing short of the best which I always thought I was. She said thanks. I have not reached out for 9 days now and have been trying to just live the most normal life I can. While I was always nothing but sweet in my responses since she broke it off, I contacted her too much and think I lost my chance of fixing this by not giving her the space she wanted. What advicr can you give me moving forward? Like I said, we never had a single problem before. It was very fairytale… I love this girl with all my heart and do not want to lose her over a distance issue thats going away and a short period in her life where she is overseas. There is no doubt in my mind that she is the one, how do I reverse any damage I already caused pushing her farther away and winning her back. I hope at some point she contacts me, but until then my heart aches for her.

  30. chester Says:
    December 2nd, 2011 at 7:56 am

    we had an affair jst a week n dr wer sum p’pl tryin 2 break us apart i dnt wnt hr 2 b hurt so i brke up wid hr,n se said it’s ol u decision wateva decision u’ll mke ill accept it,bt i flt vry sad wn i hear doj wrds i wanna know hw wud i tell hr that i dnt wan a brkup cj iv olready said it bt se’s waitin 4 ma ans n told me 2 reply hr letter..plij help me

  31. Max Says:
    January 18th, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    She just doesn’t love me anymore. I am devestaed and miss her so much.

  32. Nick Says:
    January 30th, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    My ex and I were together for a year and a half and she has a son who will be 3 in April. I am the only father figure that he has ever had in his life. We work completely different schedule (she goes to work at 5 a.m. and gets off at 1:30 p.m. and I work from 2 p.m. and get off at 10:30 p m.) So she suggested that we remain roommates to finish out our lease which is only a month. I agreed with this cause our schedules are so different. She wants to be like best friends now but she always tells me that she loves me and misses me. She is the one who wanted a break to clear her head and I am waiting for her. Do I tell her that I am waiting for her or do I just let on that I could care less and lie to her? Please help!!

  33. Lulu Says:
    May 4th, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    This blog is bad advice- take it from a WOMAN’S perspective: A few years ago, I broke up with my ex boyfriend and only two weeks later he says, “I still care about you and think you are absolutely beautiful- but I don’t feel like I’m in love with you anymore.” He actually thought this would be a relief to me! Now even though it was my idea to break up in the first place (because I just wasn’t sure we were meant to be and didn’t want to feel like I was holding him back if he wanted to get on with life and get married sooner than I wanted to), him telling me this really killed any chance we had of getting back together. I felt like if he could get over me that quickly then what we had must have not been all that special and I WANT a man who appreciates me. It made me wonder why I had even bothered before, trying to get my feelings to catch up with his. Before, I thought that we would probably end up back together eventually but after he said those heartbreaking words, I knew I deserved to be loved more than that and could definitely do better. Now I AM doing better and I’m sure the guy I am with now would be heart broken for a very long time if I were to break up with him because I know that what we have is worth fighting for. The advice in this blog would only work on an insecure girl who doesn’t really like you- all she’s concerned about is that you like her. The relationship is bound to fall apart again eventually, once she remembers she never really want you back and was just being insecure.
    So I say let her know how much it hurts to not be with her but tell her you respect her decision by giving her some space to figure things out. If it is meant to be she will come back to you and will appreciate how you respected her wishes and you were honest about how much you care about her. A guy who truly loves you is hard to give up for very long. And if you really want her back don’t even appear to be hitting on other girls- that will just make the girl feel replaceable and therefore, your relationship will no longer seem worth fighting for to her. Also don’t do anything weird like pick up old habits you had before the relationship or dye your hair bleach blonde or get a tongue ring- Oh yeah this happened to me with an other guy- he went from clean cut military guy to someone I hardly recognized and it was a complete turn off and I took it as a confirmation that breaking up was a good move! Instead of getting a face tattoo (lol) try making some positive changes in your life that she may take notice of ;) Ok I’m starting to sound like a dear Abby article- I’m done now :)

  34. Dale Says:
    July 9th, 2012 at 9:37 am

    My girlfriend broke up with me 2 days ago and I don’t know why, she followed me for a year trying to be with me and I finally did and I couldn’t have been more happy in my life. We was together for a year and a month an she constantly wrote me love notes and cuddled me and told me she loved me always and the just suddenly I come back from France after 2 weeks and she said she prefers to be alone now an wont give me any other explanation. I know she didn’t Cheat because she isn’t that type of person and she really did love me. I need help on getting her back she is the love of my life

  35. Deetz Says:
    July 31st, 2012 at 3:36 am

    My gf and I dated for 5 months just 3 last week she broke up with me because she is going to college and im still in highschool but were are the same age and she lives 2 hours away from me and when she goes to college in a month she will be and hour and a half away..she said she was tired of the long distance and she does not want to have to worrie about anything when she is in college and she said she was afreaid that our relations ship is getting to seriouse..we had a great thing and we loved each other so much..all of my friends and hers say its stupid that she wont even give it a chance and see how it goes…if i do this thing you wrote about do you think it will work

  36. bruce Says:
    October 4th, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    When my ex broke up with me she said she still loves me but needs to take care of loose ends in her life. I was not really devastated but let her go without begging. She would text and call me almost every day. We would even meet every other day for coffee go for a walk etc. After the breakup I didn’t plead with her to come back. However she saw and from friends heard how hard I took it. Very little sleep not really eating and barely able to hold myself together. I know that hurt her n bothered her. As I said we kept up with the line of communication in meeting and even spent some holidays together. However 2 1/2 years later and things are still the same. I know for a fact she still loves me its just very simply she make bad choices bad decisions and doesn’t feel as if she deserves me or that he’s good enough for me. I have been there for her when her dad had a stroke etc. I still love her but now I’m taking care of me and finally back to the Guy I was before we dated. If she wants me back I will take her back and she knows that.

  37. Mario Says:
    October 13th, 2012 at 7:24 am

    I honestly don’t get it, our break up was a mutual one. I stated out the problem and I guess she saw an opening to break things off so there was that, I didn’t feel sad when it happen only she was the one tearing up, I didn’t feel different after the break up as nothing happen but I knew I wasn’t with her anymore.. So i had given her a day to just be by her self and not have to think about it, the day after that is when started talking to her again and stating that I was wrong for saying what I said because I wouldn’t of normally of side it but that day I wasn’t feeling good so I lashed out my emotions at her… Well that day we talked I got to see her and it was okay it didn’t feel as awkward as I thought it would of been.. Later on that day I got to hangout with my ex out side her house and eat jack in the box in the back of my car. It was a good time that day, we talked about problems we never talked about when we were together… We kept talking after that day but it still felt like I was claiming a wall, slowly but gradually. 2 days after that day out side her house I hanged out with her again at her house and this time I was actually invited to go in side to eat with her family and I was grateful she would let me in her house… That night we ended up watching a movie in her living room and we ended up holding hands… That was one the things I never got from her, she told me she needed time but she was okay with me being there and even to be holding her hand, and that hasn’t been the only time, I’ve seen her two other times after that day and on those days I’ve held her hand when I was with her. But there was a time when I had asked her what would your answer be if I you would give me another shot? It was a week after we had broken up, And all she told me was that I was a really nice person really but that she didn’t know what she wanted… So that was always a daub in my head about us… I told her I’ve give her as much time as she needed till I got an answer and she said okay and thank you happily. That week passed and we went out twice to the movies and we held hands those to other times and in the second time I go to see there that week.. This week was the only time I felt like I was back with her. At the movies when we were watching the movie she had let go of my hand to get a drink of the beverage and once she was done she looked for my hand and grabbed it and held it tight.. Today is 2 weeks since our break up and I haven’t said any thing about it lately other than the day before we went out to the movies and she didn’t seam faized by me of have asked if she was dont thinking…. That’s all I need right now is advice I know there’s always other people in the sea but there always that person you feel alright being with and only want to be with that person… That might not be the same for the other but there’s always hope. I’m 18 years old and she’s 19

  38. John Ada Says:
    October 18th, 2012 at 9:08 am

    My girlfriend I loved so much and I had wanted to marry her told me that she is no longer interested in relationship and her reason was because she is 8 yrs younger than me and that I always quarrels with her. Sheis going to second year in College while am graduating. I apologized to her several times but she said she has forgiven me but will never love me again in her life. She told me that she has deleted my number from her phone but the first time I called she said thanks for calling. I used to text her but could tell me that let me not call and text her again and said that for about 3 times. Now she has changed her phone number and removed me from her facebook page. She has lost wait just like me because of stress and if friends ask her why she lost wait she says because she has left her boyfriend. I loves her so much but I do not know what can I do to bring her back, coupled with the fact that she has changed her phone number and removed me on her facebook page. Please may you advice me bothers and sisters.

  39. Unizkhong Says:
    October 23rd, 2012 at 12:22 am

    I’m together with this guy for 6 over years. We started off as classmates and got together after we graduated from school. I’ve been through all his career struggles with him throughout these years. He wanted to go overseas for training and I’ve waited for him for 2 years. We had long distance relationship or 2 years. During the 2 years, we had a big argument and broke up. He felt being bossing around and felt disrecpected by me. After 3 mths of separation, we ended up getting back together. Later, he finished his training overseas after 2 years, he came back home for a year. We didn’t quarrel over any big issues and and was happy with each other. I’ve changed (maybe not alot, but did changed) over the year on the matters we quarreled about previously. 1 year later, he told me he needs to go overseas for training for a year again and told me to wait for him. After this training, he’ll be done with all the trainings he required for his career. So I respected his decision and waited for him. I was thinking of marrige after he’s back since both of us are not young anymore (27 soon). When I visited him overseas, we quarreled and he asked for break up due to the same issue (felt disrecpected). He said whenever we had a quarrel, I don’t talk it out immediately. I require a 1 day cooling period which makes him felt quite shitty and can’t tolerate anymore. He told me he can’t guess whatever on my mind. He told me this time he is definitely not turning back. The problem is he felt I’m disrespecting him but he didn’t mentioned being hurt whenever it happens. He kept it to himself and then one fine day told me he can’t tolerate anymore. I felt rather helpless cause I don’t feel given a chance to edit my words and behavior when problems happened. I believed problems should be solved together and not alone. He blocked me on all avenues of communications like Facebook etc. I’m quite certain he still loves me a lot and I too loves him a lot. I really don’t want to lose him and regret all my life.

  40. Gavin Says:
    October 25th, 2012 at 1:36 am

    so my gf break up with me and she said i need time to think bc my feels r confusing me i try to get her back but i keep failing some one plz help me here

  41. reece Says:
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:09 am

    my girl that i was with dumped me today over she dosent want to get into a serious relationship
    before i left to go home she was talking to her friend and ever since then she didnt come near me then she sent me a text sayimg i dont want a serious relationship
    what do i do i realy love her and i thought she did too i know her friend told her to break up with me but i dont see for what reason i was nice gave her stuff and was a nice fella some advice would be very appriciated

  42. Chad Says:
    November 1st, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    I have been married to my wife for five years and have been together for nearly seven years. I have never really showed her how much she meant to me nor that I thought she was beautiful and meant the world to me. We have two young children and we have separated but still live in the same house as to not hurt the kids with the divorce. We have had several fights about this over the past seven years and it has come to her suing that I have no more chances with her and that she will never taker back, and I’m havining a very hard time with this. She now has been asked out by two different guys and this is killing me and I want her back so bad. Please help me I’m lost without her

  43. sky Says:
    November 4th, 2012 at 3:48 am

    hi, i am sky i have very unique problem you know i am student and i am staying at guest house so many people use to visit where i am living now. when i saw her she was very beautiful and young prombelm was that she had child. when i said her you are beautiful she gave me smile like when i am in heaven i felt. then day after tommorow when i was watching TV she and her sister came to watching TV. i couldnt believe that when i was taliking with someone else then she noticed me and told me can you give me company? because her was last day and she wanted to company with me because i have been here since long time. and after that i was agree with her i gave her my promise that i will show you this city. when we decided to meet in early morning. i swear i wouldnt slept that night. i tried to spleep but i didnt sleep. when i saw clock was morning 5 clock and i woke up. and after two hours later we started our journy to see around the city. my first time was that with girl i never knew about her means where she from and what she doing only i was like happy that moment. when i asked her you are look beautiful but her answer was that she dont like sweet things and all i didnt flirt with her or cheap thing with her but she was very beautiful may be she dont like man because she already broked and she was alone. i realy respect her and care about her.i am raly respect her after we went ot the universal studios because she wanted to go there. you should know how big fun in universal studio’s. she like tacking picture out and having fun out there when i saw her she was like very happy with but bad thing was that she had flight after few hour back. she didnt had enough time to spend in universal studio’s. wheni asked her about her doughter and she told me she want new water bottle. i love roller coaster when i asked her about that she was scared because she never did like this in her ife before. you know we were very busy in the universal studio’s. she was thinking about her flight.she worried about it. you know when trying to tell her about my feeling’s but she dont want to hear that because she got late. when was time to leaving from universal studio’s i purchased for her doughter one big water bottle and after that i tack her to with me to the jwellery shop and i told her whatever you want to tack you cant tack it i am gonna purchace for you then she choosen a hand bracelate with a kitchen. after that we was late and she had flight. you know end of the time i couldnt get chance ask for her phone number. and now my condition is that i am getting sick and i dont know where is she and what she is doing. my feeling’s only was for the one day but i will alway’s love he..i spent mt beautiful memont with her. i want to request her that if you realy missing me then please come back. i am waiting for you. i need family with you. i am realy care about you and your doughter. i dont have any problem with your doughtet i am realy loving her and if i get chance in future i will tack you out from your country and i give you breand new start………..your sky….always waiting for you.

    please doctor healp me because i dont know where is she i make plan to go her country but her country is so big how could i find her…please help me because she is very lonely and her doughter wants a father ……please help me.

  44. anounomos Says:
    November 5th, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    Well my gf dumped me..2 days after are 2 month aniversary..idk what to do cause it kills me not to text her she still texts me but she is going out with my x best friend..I need her back please helo

  45. Ephrai Fantastic Tshilo Says:
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:00 am

    I think it depends on what you would usually do. If she’s used to you begging her then you can act ok with the break up. if she knows you as a dont care person then she is more likely to take you back if you show signs of caring. after all, change is what she will be looking for in order to take you back

  46. mike Says:
    November 11th, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    My girlfriend broke up w broke up with me for days ago I’ve been doing the no contact thing even though she text me 2 days ago just too mouth off . But I didn’t respond she did not text me did not text me at all so I text her this morning good morning i is that is that a bad thing should I leave it a should I leave it at that or t or try texting her something later. If I keep on the no contact sync will she start missing me or will she has moved on any advice please let me know

  47. Nelson Says:
    November 12th, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    My gf and I of 5 months are deciding to take a break from each other. She says that she has a lot going on and she explained (her mother might be havin relapse of breast cancer,her daughter is being bullied at school and dealing with scerlosis she having to deal with school and taking Board exams, to become a chiropractor jus a lot I stuff all in the last 2-3 weeks so she told me that I’m not there emotionally to support her and that I’m too emotional myself. She has a lot to deal with and that she has to cut something and that she is sorry it’s me. I asked her so we are taking a break then,but can I still call you my gf. She said no we are not going to put titles on no bf/gf not even dating just friends for now I have a lot to deal with at the moment. She said that she can’t guarantee that she will come back feelin the same way after 2weeks. I don’t get on how we can tell each other thtat we are so in love with one another for her to choose and say something like that. I’m heart broken because she is the love of my life and I want her back very badly. I need help to get her back.

  48. Alan Says:
    November 22nd, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Hi well my wife and i separated her idea not mine. we have been living together and seperated for a couple months we still get along and such but she is in party mode i am not. So last week she asked me if i was readt to start dating and she told me she was going on a date with a guy i didnt react i just said ok. but inside my heart dropped so now she is seeing him every night and im sure having sex since she didnt come home one night. So how do i handle this if i want her back she says i was controling but i just didnt want her going to the bars all the time. Do i act like i dont care do i ignore her do i start dating. if she texts me do i answer her and she still wants sex once in awhile do i reject her. thank you im so lost here. If i could move out financially i would but i cant yet this is torture for me watching this.

  49. heartbreak hotel Says:
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    Hey me and my girlfriend broke up about 3 months ago. Let me say we’ve been friends for a good 4 years before we dated cause she had a boyfriend we kissed and stuff but didn’t have sex or anything until they broke up. We started dating immediately after her and her ex were done they were together for about 4-5 years. Me and her dated for 2 years and then She broke up with me cause people were telling her how I was always flirting and couldn’t be trusted. I also did not have a day job nor a car at the moment and I guess was an issue in are relationship. The moment she heard that she started acting weird and then broke up with me in August from things that she has heard. I admit I’m a big flirt but I only love her and truly love her. After August break up we still hung out and slept together we haven’t since the middle of September and text her and there. I have tried to fight for her back which is obviously the wrong move. I seen her out at a mutual friends bday party and we talked a little, danced and she kissed me. It was very romantic. We went back to her apartment and just hung out. The next day she dropped me off and tested me later that day saying she had a great time but the kiss was a mistake and of course stupid me gets all emotional and tells her she’s lying to herself. Ive heard she still loves me and misses me but she says we cant be friends right now. Please help me. I don’t need her to breathe but in life I figure you find one person who makes you smile and actually makes you laugh that you fight for that person. She in my eyes is my simulate. Please give me some advice

  50. Troy Says:
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Girlfriend of 5 years just broke up with me yesterday and today it’s my golden birthday. She broke up with me because she felt overwhelmed and confused about everything. I have been through a lot and I haven’t been the nicest or greatful man I should have been with her. Problem is this is the 2nd time her feeling like this. She came back to me within 2 days because I gave her space and respected her decision. I’m doing the same now but feel like this time she really isn’t coming back. She says she is sorry and has said it millions of times. What does that mean??? Do you guys/ladies feel that she will comeback? I don’t think there is anyone she is interested in, but I feel she ran out because she couldn’t handle all th negativity in my life and wants to live the life where it is drama free. I don’t know. I am giving her space and I have realized a lot of things that should have been different. Hopefully somebody can tell me if there is even a chance with her, what she has told me and this being the 2nd time.

  51. becky Says:
    December 9th, 2012 at 4:53 am

    I’m a girl, and this is bullshit. I would NOT give a cool-handed guy a second chance. It would just confirm my right decision to dump that hold hearted b**tard in the first place and find someone else more compatible to my level of ’stickiness’ (the preference for a bf in the gradient from too clingy to distant+ cool differs…i think soul-mates are naturally compatible in this regard).

  52. Khosro Says:
    December 9th, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    First I have to say: Please excuse my bad English.
    Here is my story:
    I’m 45 years old who have got divorced 3 years ago.
    I meat a lady who she got divorced 5 years ago, but she got a boyfriend 2 years after divorcing. She loved him very much, but he was a great liar! He told her that he loves her, but at the end he married with someone else!
    She have got a big big problem after he left her for other sake!
    A year after he left her, I met her and we’ve been together almost 2 years, but she left me many times! First time was after 2 months after first date, she told me that she is not ready for new relationship. I accepted, but she came back to me after 2 months breaking and she was with me almost 2 months and left me again for almost 3 months. After second time breaking I told her: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU OR SEE YOU AGAIN, GO. I tired to meet someone else and actually I did, but after 2 months she came back to me and guess what? I couldn’t say NO!!! I was definitely in love with her and I didn’t know that! Long story short she left me again and again and again, not because of someone else. I know that she was alone because I was watching her! Am I an idiot? Yes you can say so, but I was looking for the reason to done with her :( last time we have been together for 3 months and now it’s 29 days since she left me again! I tried to do not sms her or calling her but it’s IMPOSSIBLE! I’m deeply in love and I can not meet someone else… Last night I went to the city center, hopping to see her somewhere and I did… Was it nice asking me? Yes it was but hurt me too much too :-(
    She asked me what am I doing here? And I said hopping to see you, she answered back: hey smile there are too many nice ladies here who you can be with them and they are better than me…
    She seems can not see how deep is my love and how I love her! She offering me to find someone else! She told me: forget me, find someone else and enjoy your life IT’S OVER…which I heard that many times !!!!
    What have I suppose to do? I’ve been loving her for so long you know.
    I’m not weak or something like this, I gave her my love and I’m not that kind of person who can says: whatever I’ll love someone else!
    Please someone tell me what have I suppose to do?
    I appreciated serious replies, If you feel that I’m disgusting and weak or… please leave me alone.

  53. James Says:
    December 13th, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Me and my Girlfriend have been going out for 1 year 1 month. she and i have recently broke up because apparently i keep hurting her. however, i didnt mean to on purpose and i only hurt her cos she made me. she used to be indenial during arguments and not see her own mistakes but only point out mine. she made me feel like such an awful boyfriend even though i was so nice to her. i tried to make her understand what she is doing and how its affecting us. she wouldnt understand so i gave up on trying to explain to her and she carried on doing what she always does it ended uo ruining me for 11 months. now she left me saying she cant get over what i done when i clearly told her its her who made me like this. after the break up i was begging her constantly to get back with me however she doesnt reply to no messages or pick up phone calls. its been 4 days since our break up. what shall i do ?

  54. Mark Says:
    December 14th, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Nelson - play it cool. It’ll hurt like crazy, but don’t beg, say OK I understand you have a lot going on that’s cool. Then hang out with friends who are girls and when she comes to you tell her what you’ve been doing.

    Play it cool, don’t do what I did and push and declare your love it won’t work. You have to show her you are just fine without her or you’re probably going nowhere.

  55. David Says:
    December 24th, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I find it interesting in all these blogs so many are talking about what they lost what they miss etc yet there is not one answer to any of their thoughts. Interesting concept.


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