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How to Get Her Trust Back - 3 Rules That Should Never Be Broken
By Dr. George Karanastasis | September 8, 2009
Losing a girl’s trust will often lead to a breakup. And the only way to patch things up is to gain that trust back.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy task. Nevertheless, it’s a necessary step to repairing a relationship.
With that said, this post will point out 3 rules that should never be broken if you hope to succeed…
Rule #1: Trust must be earned. You can’t pressure or persuade a girl to trust you again. She has to make that decision on her own. And for this to occur, one thing has to come first: change.
You have to change that which caused her to stop trusting you. This takes time. However, you can move things along a tad bit quicker. Here’s how…
Write down everything you plan to do on paper and give it to her. Why paper? Because of these two reasons:
1. Promises are made, forgotten, and broken all the time. She knows this. But this makes you accountable to her. And accountability is the first step towards regaining her trust.
2. You can’t persuade her to trust you but your written plan can. If you were to tell her, repeatedly, that you changed, she’d get turned off and wouldn’t give you a second chance. However, you written plan can do this time and time again without turning her off.
Rule #2: Trust can never be “tricked”. Do not make drastic changes fast. If you go from being the worst guy in the world to the best (from one day to the next) she’ll see through the ploy. She knows that the moment she eases up on you, you’ll revert to your old ways. Make slow and steady changes she can believe you’ll stick to.
Rule #3: Trust must never be broken - twice. You’ve been given a second chance because of a promise - a promise she believes you’ll keep. Don’t make the same mistake again. Whatever it is you plan to do - get it done. Second chances are hard to come by - third are non-existent.
By sticking to these rules you’ll be in a good position to get her trust back. But don’t forget them once you have it. Remember, it’s hard to re-gain but easy to lose again.
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Topics: Relationship Rants |
November 30th, 2009 at 3:27 am
George, I was with my girl for over a year, and things went perfectly until about the month surrounding our anniversary. Not long after it, she dumped me and said she wasn’t happy anymore, and that she was still attracted to me, but not as much as before. I begged and pleaded, and it took almost a month to collect myself, but I’ve had minimal contact with her and now she’s getting involved with another guy that I honestly can’t compete with. We’ve made up, I’ve accepted that leaving me was the right thing for her to do, and she knows that. When we talk the conversation is very cold now, and she won’t be able to talk at all for the next 2 weeks to anyone. A few days after that ends, we’ll see each other for the 3rd time since the breakup. The first 2 times went okay, but I was at a loss for what to do to get her back. We were both friendly and everything, but I was at a loss. Do you have any advice for me? Do you think this 2 weeks will help or hurt my chances?
August 22nd, 2010 at 6:10 am
hi me and my girlfriend have dated now for about a year and 2months we have fought alot of times but keep on going back to each other.We broke up a few times aswell because of alchol,i would go out drinking and then we would fight now this has happend about 8 times we broke up because i was drunk and we fight about stupid things i have made so many promises already and dont want to loose this girl i know what to do i just have to stop drinking and its not that i drink everyday its maybe once or twice in 3 to 4 months that this happens,what advise is there for this problem,i have tried everything in my power to make up and show how sorry i am and showing that i really mean it,she still talks about me everyday and excepted some flowers and a i am sorry gift,i also heard from one of her friends that she feels bad for treating me so badly because she is made and ignoring me……Help???
September 1st, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Hello Dr… Something like a year ago I started dating this girl because she showed interest in me and always text message me and kept contact with me. Few months later she told me very frequently that she was in love with me. At first, I acted distant but then I chose to give us an opportunity, and over time I fell in love with this girl. It seemed that the love was strong and mutual. Due to college, we felt apart and at first she still contacted me, but then stopped and I started to wonder what was the reason for this. I text messaged her frequently and wrote her an e-mail every single day since the last message she wrote me (telling me that she missed me, by the way, after these ten days of e-mails and text messages per day, she finnally answered saying that I should not write her anymore, that my messages annoyed her and If I really felt something for her, I will leave her alone. then she wrote another letter saying she do this for her, and that she will be fine and I will be fine to… and now she is dating somebody else, and knows that she is falling in love with him. It´s like all she told me was a big lie, like she forgot me entirely in such a short time, but sometimes I think I just pushed her away acting like the worst of the wussies. It´s been exactly a month since she wrote me that e-mail. Again, because of college, I´m seeing her again in 20 days, we are even going to take a class together; the guys that she is seeing it´s acroos the street were we study, (so I suppouse I´m gonna see her someday skipping classes to see him) and I still feel something very strong for her (I LOVE HER), and I feel like i´m falling into depression very quickly… My question is: I think she felt something really strong for me. Is there ANY, even remote chance to win her back again, after all of this happened? I win, when I though I was loosing her before, I always managed to re-sparkle the attraction in her over me, but I never loosed my coolness before, and NEVER before felt this destroyed and overwhelmed by this emotions.
I don´t know if I can handle not to see that “in love” look that she gave me when I saw her before… I told her that I loved her, but I really feel it now. I know it´s love, and I know I would let her go is she is happy, but I wanna fight for her. She is the love of my life… Do I still have a chance?
Jools