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How To Get Her Back - 5 Facts You Should Know Before Trying

By Dr. George Karanastasis

How To Get Her BackSo, she’s broken it off and you don’t know how to get her back. Perhaps you’ve already tried, yet failed; or maybe you’re just getting started and want to avoid mistakes. Whatever the case may be these five facts will instantly put you on the right path, whether you’re a relationship rookie or a seasoned veteran of the art.

Fact #1: It won’t happen overnight.

Some guys get her back within a week, some in a month. It all depends on the relationship in question and the underlying circumstances that tore it apart. And while you can’t know exactly how long it will take you to get her back, this shouldn’t concern you in the least. Instead, rest easy in the comfort of knowing that if you take the right approach and avoid critical mistakes that time will ultimately reward you.

Fact #2: There’s no room for sorrow when it comes to getting her back.

I know that this breakup is tough and you’re hurting all over but you must maintain your composure. Do whatever it takes to stop feeling sad and to start feeling happy. Take up a new hobby or spend some more time with your friends. Because if you can’t be happy when you’re alone then you don’t stand a chance of being so with someone else.

Additionally, the last thing your ex wants is to be around someone that brings her down. Always keep this in mind: she’s also going through a tough time (even if she doesn’t show it) and she’s also looking for someone to cheer her up. So be that one person in her life that makes her smile.

Fact #3: You can’t persuade her to come back.

Many have taken this approach and even more have failed. And since you’re reading this article it’s safe to assume that you too have tread down this path. So heed my word of warning: stop what you’re doing now! The only thing you can hope to accomplish with persuasion is to push her further away.

And this makes total sense if you take a moment to think about what she ultimately wants: space. So do your due diligence and give it to her, and in turn she’ll reward you several fold in the very near future.

Fact #4: You can not buy your way back into her heart.

A classic mistake that most guys make when trying to get her back is to shower her with flowers, apology cards, and various other gifts. And that’s because they somehow believe that these gestures, gestures that girls normally adore when they’re happy in a relationship, will have the same effect during a breakup as well.

But nothing could be further from the truth. The only thing that excessive gift giving accomplishes is to push her further away. This goes hand in hand with fact #3. She’ll take this is a sly form of persuasion and it will literally backfire. So save your money for something more useful (perhaps a great getaway for the both of you when you when she finally does come back).

Fact #5: All relationships are not created equal.

Understand that every relationship is different and therefore each one requires a unique approach. You can’t expect to ask someone how to get her back, do exactly what they did, and expect the same level success with your relationship. It will take a good deal of analyzing on your part so that you can pinpoint the factors that lead to the breakup to begin with. Only then can you craft your own plan of getting her back by “reverse-engineering” the relationship and every mistake that led to it falling apart.

In conclusion, while the topic of relationship repair and how to get her back needs several more articles (even books) to fully be covered, these are the five most important facts you should be aware of when you’re just getting started.

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54 Responses to “How To Get Her Back - 5 Facts You Should Know Before Trying”

  1. Rahul Says:
    October 31st, 2008 at 12:40 am

    We are in a serious relationship from 5 years, we did everything we can do and were living happily, she even couldnt sleep before talking to me, every day we used to talk on mobile for hours, we used to meet every second day, but her father forecly made her engagement with somebody else, in a month she got attracted towards that guy, she said i love u both u r my first love and he is my fathers choice, but due to some unwanted reasons her engagement broken, now she still talks to me but not like before,she doesnt talk much, refused to come close and didnt have that warm feeling for me she earlier has. i love her madly i cant live without her please help me to get her back……….

  2. Elliot Says:
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    this is amazing advise i actually have gor far beyond this and whitnessed her with another man last night. write back if you want a story not too long but id love to tell it and be advised thank You

  3. leo_mustdie@yahoo.com Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 9:16 am

    My girl and I have been together since the 28th of April, 2005. Just recently, she and I got into a little tie about her going to the military. She asked me if she could go, but I wouldn’t let her. And as a result, she stayed back.

    Later, she realized that with almost every decision she made in her life, she always had to take me into consideration. I’ve done her wrongs, I admit. And I regret them ALL… Yet, no matter how many times I apologize to her, none of it could ever heal the scars I’ve already planted in her. She wants me to let her go. “If you love me, let me go…” Believe me, because we’ve been together for three years now, I don’t believe she wants to let me go.

    So tonight, I’m going to call her up and ask her a yes or no question. Her answer would determine whether or not I’d fly over to see her. Wish me luck. I’m about to pull one of the craziest stunts a guy would ever do for a girl he loves with his whole heart…. If I fail, I fail… “So help me God…”

  4. it's me Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    everything here is right!
    i will try this approach and may God be with me!

  5. Chris Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    My girlfriend of three and a half year just broke up with me.. We started going out a few months before she left for college. She is now in the last few months of her junior year and says she has fallen out of love with me. She said she has been hiding it for about 5 months now and didn’t tell me because she wanted to get the felling back. Everything has always been amazing even though she is 120 miles away most of the year. We would even talk about how we could not wait until she was done so we could start our lives together. She said she has met another guy that is still a friend and may never be anything more, but does not feel she should be with me and have some feelings for him and not be in love with me. She said she does not want to be with anyone and to focus on herself and get her school done. I love this girl to death and would do anything to keep her and share the rest of our lives together. I don’t know what to do now though. She will be back for summer in 3-4 months. All your advice is greatly appreciated.

  6. mistery Says:
    March 10th, 2009 at 2:26 am

    please help i lost this girl and then i found her in the dark now again 7 years later i lost my ways and her. i am going to get her back or die single……..

  7. Wrong Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    I just lost my girl of three years. She said she just doesn’t love me like that anymore, only as a friend. Just the night before though, we had the most amazing time and I knew she was definitely in love with me.. I just don’t understand and have to get her back before she gets with someone else. I love her more than anything. I can’t fail at wining her over. I hope this works.

  8. chong Says:
    May 22nd, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    i have lost my gf for 1 week dy. she said she love a form6 guy more than me and she don’t love me anymore. Just the night before though, me and her had a best tome and at that time i knew her really love me…but i don’t understand why the next day she will break with me??? I really need her and i love her more than everything. I can’t lost her hope this is working and help me to get my gf back.

  9. ashing Says:
    June 8th, 2009 at 8:06 am

    i was very possesive.i use to argue with her if she does not call me and asked for a reason why she does not call me.i know she love me.But finally she said she want to broke up with me. i asked for the reason and she told me she can’t take it any more.but i really want her and i love her so much.i said sorry to her but she does not except it and she say no need to say sorry.please help me.

  10. BC Says:
    June 9th, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    This girl and I met at work awhile back. She had a boyfriend so we just started as friends and the more we started to get to know each other and realize that our passions and ambitions were the same, we started falling for one another. However she stilled loved him as well and was stuck in a tug of war of emotions. He found out about us, and made her delete me from her life and due to her feeling guilty about loving me she did. Its been 4 months since then, and I still am in complete love with her and her boyfriend just broke up with her 2 weeks ago. We havent spoken much yet, I called her once for her birthday and left a nice message, as well as texting her once about some music production that I did. She has been avoiding conversation with me and I dont know why. I would really love to start over with her again as friends and see what happens. This guide is aimed more for the ex-girlfriend… but my situation is a tad different. I am positive this girl is the one for me, and I am doing my best to stay positive and let her come to me.. but Im not sure if it will happen. If you have any advice please get back to me! thanks :)

  11. J in Japan Says:
    July 13th, 2009 at 8:16 am

    Guys, guys! My heart aches for you! I was there too, when I lost Jenny, took me a year and a half of occupational self-imposed therapy to get over her. yes, I got her back, but she dumped me after 3 months,…again.

    Fact: I love what we had, not what she has become.
    Fact: The same Jenny I loved, no longer exists because she is a different Jenny.
    Fact: I’m a much happier person now because I won’t let anybody, including her, determine my mood and my future happiness.

    ADVICE:
    Repeat the 3rd fact to yourself, and get the book by Richard Bandler “Get the life you want: The secrets to quick and lasting life change with neuro linguistic programming” ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-0776-8 Once YOU change, she might like the NEW real YOU and go crazy bumping her head against the fridge, whether you still want her back then or not, that will be a different matter.

    Never give up on yourself, even if she does!
    J

  12. NightLord Says:
    July 18th, 2009 at 1:10 am

    In my experience whenever I had a girlfriend break up with me and I completely forgot about them and moved on they ALWAYS came back around and began to pursue me again in some way shape and form except for one girl.
    Fact is there is NOTHING you can do or say to get a girl to want you or come back to you. Sure there are ways that can make it better or worse but simply put if a woman wants you nothing will hold them back to get you and if they don’t want you there is nothing that will keep them to stay around.
    Sheer indifference towards them always seems to be the key. Take them or leave them either way YOUR life moves on just fine.
    Cheers

  13. daniel Says:
    July 24th, 2009 at 6:26 am

    i love her very mach i dont know the casse she is move i went back her what is your advice

  14. iselldummysmacks Says:
    August 9th, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    I love this girl to death and I’m praying to God that I will be able to have her someday. I am in love with her, and I know she’s right for me. And from day one I proved it to her. When she said that she wanted to break up for school purposes, it felt like I shut down inside. I started feeling anxious, sick, cold, imploded, corroded, dead, just the most awful hurt you could ever imagine. I want to cry but I can’t form the tears. I couldn’t wish this on my worst enemy it hurt so bad. Not for the fact that we may be just taking a break, but for the fact that when she graduates college, she’s going Ivy League, so I hurt because I could lose her forever. I’m desperate! Not for other women or companionship, but for her. Only her. I could love no other like I love her. I’m passionate in everything I do with her. In my eyes she’s perfect. Its not a possibility that if I lose her, I will never find another woman like her, its a fact! Could God be kind and pity an unworthy sinner with just one oppertunity to get her back? God help me…please…

  15. Nate Says:
    October 6th, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    Ok guys. I feel ya. Trust me.

    I loved a girl, and still do, more than I can possibly express with words. We’ve been together for 2 years, and we got married 8 months ago.

    She was madly in love with more for over a year. Its the 2nd year now.

    The problem started occurring when I would NEVER express my love to her or show her much affection, because I was affraid it would “push her away” or seem “wussy”.

    Let me tell you, I WAS WRONG. In fact, my lack of expressing my love for her is the main and sole reason she started to fade away from me, lose attraction for me, and ultimate stop loving me.

    And in the end, she cheated on me, multiple times, and then broke it off with me.

    Don’t make the mistake I did, guys.

    If you have a woman that you LOVE, who LOVES YOU, then express it freely. Don’t let anything hold you back.

    Don’t smother her with it, by giving it to her too much, or too often, but you know when it’s the right time, and don’t block yourself.

    I caused so much hurt for her, so many days of crying and tears for her, while I was just a cold wall. And in the end, karma came back to bite me in the ass.

    She became that cold wall, and cheated on me, and now, I am the one crying and in tears over her… and over myself, and what I’ve done to contribute to this matter.

    Yes, there is no excuse for cheating, it was a totally selfish and destructive and hurtful thing to do which is BARELY forgiveable, if it is at all…

    However, I cannot deny what I have done to her and the pain I’ve caused her, which was no less reason than the pain she has now caused me, regardless of the fact that the pain I caused her was not due to her cheating.

    Pain is pain, and it hurts no matter what causes it.

    Learn from this guy, I’m asking from the deepest of my heart; take what I am saying seriously.

    It is THE ONE thing most important that I learned from this.

    Love thy woman.

    Love your woman. Don’t let anything stop you. And make SURE she knows it, and let it be known often… for as long as you two are together. PERIOD.

    Now, as for our relationship. She wanted a divorce. I finally wrote her a letter expressing my true love for her, and how I finally realize all the pain I’ve caused her, and how I made a big part of this situation happen.

    I told her that I love her, more than anyone in the world, and that I still see hope for our future, and that I want her, and I want to be together with her.

    I just wrote it, I prayed it did not cause her to lock up in a clamshell and start to resent me, because I always feared opening up to her for fear that she will lose attraction to me.

    It didn’t happen!

    After she read the letter, which was just days after she told me she wants to divorce for real, her whole mindset shifted.

    It was as if my expression of true love was the thing that shook down a huge chuck of the wall she had built towards me.

    Since then, we’ve been connecting more and more, and I know she still loves me.

    Although she doesn’t have that same strong attraction, passion, and fire for me yet. I know it’s only a matter of time before it happens if I keep giving her spacing, and most importantly, KEEP BEING THE MAN SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH, WITHOUT ALL THE FLAWS OF THE MAN THAT PUSHED HER AWAY!

    Either way, I know that whether we are together or not, I will find happiness in my life, and I will have a great relationship in the future, with or without her. And at this point, I’d definitely love it to be with her.

    I hope you enjoyed my story and learned something from it.

    Nate
    USA

  16. jonny Says:
    October 22nd, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year and a half. she cought me cheating and broke up with me. i love her so much and i want her back nut i dont know how help

  17. P.J Says:
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:29 am

    I was with my girl for 2 months. OCD and suffered from intrusive thoughts, which tore us apart. We broke up amicably, but I couldn’t help myself. I drove her away and I’ve been threatened with the big ONE (you know what that is) but I can’t stop thinking about her… My head spins and I just want to hold her and have her council to help me with my condition. I cry every day.

  18. Paul Says:
    December 3rd, 2009 at 11:02 am

    Guys I feel your pain. I’ve been with my highschool sweetheart for 8 years. We’ve been through so much you could honestly write a book about it. We’ve been engaged, the works. During a TDY, I slipped up badly. I have no excuses for any of my actions. I lied about it for more than a year and fate finally came knocking. Did the other woman mean anything to me? No. So why would I do this? Regardless she is gone. She was my everything fellas. One dumb-ass mistake and lies to cover ruined something so special. Trying to see light at the end of the tunnel in all this, I realize that I can embrace this as a catalyst to turn my life around. BE THE MAN SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH, NOT THE ONE THAT PUSHED HER AWAY.

    I just want to hold her and I can honestly look into her eyes and tell her I can change overnight, but no one can do that. I need to let her see those changes and hopefully she’ll give me that second chance to make things for the better.

    I appreciate you guys taking the time to read. Its extremely therapeutic and hopefully you guys can learn from my mistakes. Remember that lying gets you nowhere! It may cover things up for the time-being, but sooner or later it will emerge. Be honest and faithful guys. God Bless

  19. Anonymous Says:
    December 3rd, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    I was with my girlfriend for 2 years and 4 months. About 4 months ago, we ended up moving in together. It was the best time of my life, and I was so happy to have found the girl who I pictured as being “the one”.

    Unfortunately, she dumped me two weeks ago today, claiming that she had fallen out of love with me, and that she wanted to go out with her friends and do whatever she wants to do without having to answer to me at home about anything.

    She is not a cheater, and I have never had any reason to doubt that she has always told me the truth.

    The problem with our situation is that we live together… I have tried unsuccessfully the past two weeks to show her that we can still be so good together. It’s so hard seeing her everyday at our place, but I feel like if we move out, that will eliminate any chance of the relationship to rekindle in the future.

    Any advice? I’m lost without her.

  20. John Doe Says:
    December 19th, 2009 at 8:45 am

    RESPONSE TO NUMBER 19.
    ok well listen, im not gonna complain about my thing becuase people come here to get advice, not hear about how horrible this shit is. like u i got broken up with after 2 years and a half. u have to understand that women are not as rational as us. its dam true. to us its we were happy together= we should be together again. makes sense right? well it doesnt to her. and im very sorry, i know how it is, im going thru with it as we speak and im dying inside trust me. but let me say this:. i cant tell u to move out cus every situation is different. all i am going to tell u is that YOU ARE NOT LOST WITHOUT HER. stop telling urself that. u are a grown man and u can not act like a boy in this situation. understand that u might be with one crying alone but she has also lost. if she doesnt see what u have to give than she has lost aswell. dont mistake happiness for winning. remember that u are lucky to have experienced what u have no matter how much it hurts now. i know she seems like shes the best thing out there. but hey there are 18 other people right abouv you on this site ^^^^^ saying their ex is the best thing. she is just the easiest thing not the best, u have to work now. so go out there and put in work. if shes really gone then u are not doomed to lonliness. put in work to fix shit with her, fail, crumble, breakdown, and put ur self back to pieces, like everyman in history has done. now u will be one of them. u will graduate soon. but hey what do i know, im fucking 18.

  21. Despair Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 4:55 am

    My significant other, who I was going out with for 3 years, broke up with me the beginning of March, which was 10 months ago now. It was the first relationship, first love for the both of us. We were quite serious quickly into the relationship, and fell deeply in love and stayed there until it ended.

    She said she needed space and needed to stop hiding behind me as an excuse to not complete her portfolio and find a new job. I gave her that. I talked to her maybe once a week for a few months after we broke up. She felt she was too clingy to me, and I somewhat agree with that. But it took her two months after the breakup to actually finish her portfolio, and she is still at the same job (and the place where we actually met).

    She was back and forth with her feelings of wanting me to move on and and wanting to get back together, throughout this year. Her mind seemed to change every month. I became so lost without her this year, we had always been each others’ best friends, and were always able to pick each other up. Up until a couple weeks ago, she was expressing some desire to get back together, if I could take the steps to change what I needed to change. I gave her space the week of her finals. The following week I was really sick and could barely speak due to a sore throat. She made no effort to contact me or show me that she still wanted me, and I didn’t want to smother her with daily updates on my progression as if we were still dating.

    I truly love her more than I thought it was possible to love someone, even while we were apart. It’s not the idea of being with someone, or how she used to be, or the idea of her or anything silly like that. I really, truly love her unconditionally. I love her as my best friend, my most intimate friend, I love her in every way it’s possible to love a person. We always had great chemistry.

    Well tonight she told me basically straightforward that she no longer thought of me as anything but a friend, that I was making her uncomfortable expressing my feelings for her since she was falling for someone else, and that I really needed to move on. The trouble is, I really don’t want to. I could move on to a bachelor’s life, I suppose, but I could never love another girl. I love everything about her, even her flaws, which if possible make me love her even more. I just feel like her sudden “neutral” attitude toward me of late has more to do with the introduction of this new guy into her life than her just not having those feelings for me anymore. It’s natural they’d subside since we no longer work together, and don’t run in the same circle of friends and don’t see or talk to each other every day.

    Should I have called her more often? What can I do going forward? I’m not ready to give up on such a great relationship and the most amazing girl. She may have given up on us, but I refuse to throw in the towel, even if she’s “falling” for someone else. I want her to remember how great we were, and still can be, together. I don’t want to push her further away, but I can’t be stuck in the “friend zone” with the love of my life! This is the girl I want to grow old with and build a life with! Help! =(

  22. Despair Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 4:57 am

    [cont’d]

    Another big factor is that neither of us cheated on each other. So I don’t think there’s anything that can’t be healed between us, if I can just help her to remember why she fell in love with me in the first place.

  23. rob Says:
    January 23rd, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    Me an my girlfriend of 5 months were perfect … everything was great an then We got really close an she got scarred because of a horrible past an Ex’s doing damage to her heart so she has trouble trusting…. She needs space an I gave it to her then out of the blue when giving it to her she calls me an tells me stay out of her life for good she wants nothing to do with me .. for no reason im lost . I know there something special an either way i would love a friendship she is a wonderful person who has just been scarred in the past !!!.. do you have any advise ?

  24. Beenthere Says:
    February 3rd, 2010 at 8:30 am

    ahhh… where to even start with you guys. Well let me give you a lil insight of what i went through. I met the “girl for me” when i was a junior in highschool and she was a freshman. Being an older guy and a popular athlete, i took advantage of her and did her wrong. I cheated numerous times and played around with her emotions for at least a year. When my senior year came to an end is when i started to realize that she was a great girl and didnt deserve what i had previously put her through. So, i was about to go off to college 300 miles away and i promised her and myself i would stay faithful. I did and i waited for her to graduate and move to college with me (which was two years after i graduated). During the long distance we had visibly grown apart but always rekindled over the summers. Well, the time came and she moved to the same college as me and moved into my house. I am currently a Junior in college and she is a freshman in college. For the first few weeks it was the greatest thing and i loved every minute of it. But by the end of the first month and a half of living together i could feel her slowly drifiting off. The time finally came when she said im moving out and its over. I cant do it anymore. She held true to her words and two days later was fully moved out and got her own apartment. I tried every possibly way to get her back; i begged, i pleaded, i cried, i got gifts, i got her friends to help me, but none of it worked. It only seemed to make her mad at me and grow further apart from me. She stayed at my college for the remaining of the semester, but once the semester was over she transfered to a school that is 800 miles away, because thats where all her friends were and that is where the majority of the kids from our highschool attend college. Its been about five months and she is already in another relationship with a guy from our highschool that was in her class. Now, the first 3 months of the break up was the hardest thing i have ever been through in my life. I broke away from friends and family and became a hermit crab in my house. I started using drugs and drinking nearly every day because that was the only time i wouldnt think about her. At the beginning of the 4th month i finally realized i had to move on because she had. Two people can only take so much together. So i started hanging out with friends, studying alot, i even picked up a new hobby making beats (music). I did all that to occupy myself and get her off my mind. Because trust me i know that when you are alone how painful it is. Well i can honestly say that i am going on five months now and i feel like a new person. I was saying what ALL of you guys have been sayng…”i love her so much and i will never find some one else blah blah blah! And as of right now i havent found some one else, but i am young at only 21 years old. I have the rest of my life to find some one. Right now im just living the college dream. I still think about her and i still have those moments when i wish she was with me, But i promise you it will only get better. You guys just gotta pick your heads up and move on. If i can do it i guarantee the rest of you can. When my first true love of five years left i felt like i would die and couldnt see ne other way. But, now i see it was for the better and not only is she better off, but i am as well!!!!

  25. cm212 Says:
    May 27th, 2010 at 11:07 am

    I’ve been reading everyone’s post and noticed we all make the same mistakes at the end. I recently broke up with my girlfriend. It happened only a few days before her birthday because of a comment I texted her. She literally went crazy and exploded. She told me she that it’s over and it was her mistake spending time with me (we broke up a week before and got back). So, after a few days me not being able to take it, I ran over to her place and waited many hours to see her. i tried to persuade her to come back, but she wouldn’t even budge like before. A few days later when her birthday came around, I sent her flowers at work and showed up at her place with a cake later on in the night. She seemed surprised, but the only thing she said was “you don’t have to do this.” I’ve made several attempts to see her, but was rejected harshly.

    I honestly can tell you that this is a push-pull game. When you try harder to pull her back, she just keeps on pushing you away. And i knew this from the start, but my emotions got in the way.

    My advice to everyone who truly feels the pain, if you feel like sending her gifts or simply balling your eyes out in front of her, DO IT. She might not take you back, but at least you showed your true emotions. And sometimes, girls just need to be burnt by another guy to truly understand how you were good to her. My gf and I broke up because she was sick and tired of arguing, but remember it takes 2 to make it happen. And don’t even bother telling her how things went wrong. She really doesn’t give a rat’s ass. Just know that you were sincere to her and if she doesn’t see it, then that’s that. Some of you are prob reading this hoping for a cinderella story, but in all honesty, you never know what will happen. This is where I let fate kick in. Just think of it as fate. If it happens, it happens. And it’s ok to wish her back, but don’t bank on it. Cheer up guys. I’m trying hard too feel better too.

  26. Jakop Says:
    June 11th, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    This I promise is a different set of facts. I married her when I was 60 years old - she was 50. We had a wonderful life - I bought the house of our dreams and planned to live there until the end. She went into the hopsital for a knee replacement then on to a rehab facility for therapy. While at the rehab, a Social Worker conducted a group session to ask the usual questions like “do you feel that you are in a safe environment, do your husband have guns in the house, is an angry person. She answered “No, Yes, Yes.” She was escorted from the house by the local police on April 9, 2010 and only came back to announce that the marraige was over. I don’t know what I am missing. She wasn’t loving but caring, no sex (not at 79 and 70)and seemedto find fault with everything I did. I was a lousy driver, I slept through TV shows, I snored, and you name it. I think I miss the companionship. Oh, she was not a great cook and didnn’t like to cook. We went out a lot.

    My friends all tell me she did me a favor. What do you guys think?

  27. Chocky Says:
    September 3rd, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    I just went through a breakup..But I still want him back.And i am mailing him everyday, though he has completely blocked me and ignored me now for 6 monhts..But still I feel that somewhr down his heart he still loves..Its been 5 years that we were in love and now its the 6 mnths that he broke up with me..

  28. Red Says:
    November 3rd, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    Hey guys i feel sorry for all of you i know this sucks I’m so depressed and lost without mine!

  29. Ante Says:
    November 21st, 2010 at 7:45 am

    hi there..

    where should i start…ok well i was with my x-girlfriend for 1 and half years which is quite a long time considering she was my 1st real gf

    and i was her 1st real bf. everything was great and ran smoothly..the biggest problem in our relationship was that i was ov full croatian blood and

    she was 3/4 serbian and 1/4 croatian becoz her dad was half. this didnt arise to be much ov a problem at the start but then it slowly started to bulid up..

    unfortunetly i can only blame myself becoz i should ov brought her home from day 1 and things would ov been much better and different instead i waited

    which i should ov not done…though my parents neva told me to not date her and not bring her ova and go 2 her house they neva said that…my mum was alright with it

    i just think it would ov taken the old man a bit more time to process..we had our usually arguments ova stupid things that were mended quite quickly…though as of this year start ov september we went on a little break so i could sort out my stuff with my parents and so that she could sort out her negativity with a few things… one nite i decided to go for a drive with a friend through the local town..one ov my x girlfriends, friends saw me driving and immediately txtd my x gf, she went berzerk started saying i dnt care about i dnt love her and that im moving on…i didnt kno wat to think or say i was angry..then the arguing started and in a couple ov days she broke it off with me…we were broken up for 5 days and next thing u kno i shes in a new relationship! i didnt think much ov it becoz i thought it was all bullshit to try get bak at me…but when a few ov my mates were asking wat was going and that she (sandra my x) was in a new relationship it really hit me and i basically lost the plot..all the stuff she use to say to me felt like a lie…she use to say i love u sooo much i cant imagine my life without u and that she wanted to get engaged even married at some point…i was tottally gutted and i started texting and calling her..i was soo angry and upset…then when i calmed down after a week or so..she called me to come to her work…she said she dosent kno if she can go bak with me becoz i havent done anything to prove to her how much i love her and wanted her bak…soo basically she said if u want me then fight for me…i chased her for nearly 2 months she lead me on…thinking we’d get back togther…she made a fake account on facebook to contact me through and we even talked on msn…even on webcam…the thing that kills me the most is that she said we will set a date to get back togther which she said was december the 1st… but while this was going on she kept saying she needs space i dnt understand how u can need space if ur withsome else…i was confused, hurt, emotional angry the works…the guy she is with now is ov serbian origin… one my friends thinks that my x wanted/needed something i couldnt give her and that apparently was that she now sees how she’ll be accepted by his parents becoz they are serbian…also one ov her friends told me that my x said her new bf is really nice and is ready to settle down with a serbian girl…i was like wtf… during this peroid ov being led on..i bought her a ipod touch and a gold pendant with her name on it Sandra…which i dnt regret but it still hurts… november the 3rd was the last contact i had with her…she basically rippt my heart at the library in our univerisity… i kept telling her though this ordeal that if she came bak to me we would go straight to my place and i would tell me my parents this is more than serious now we really do love each other and u will accept it whether u like or not…but in saying so on november 3rd 2010 she told me she dosent want anything to do with my parents and that she is happy with how she is now and she really likes this new guy shes with…and that she sees me as a friend..i askt her if she loved me her response was a a slight shake ov the head as in no and that was the same respone when i asked if she still had feelings for me…the weeks prior to the final one she was saying she does love me but shes unsure if she wants to be with me and still needs space…well i have cut all contact with her and it hurts like hell…i think about her non-stop.. its been 18 days no conact and she has been with her new bf for 2 and a half months… i dnt kno what to do or think anymore..i.d do anything to get her back.. can things be mended? is there still hope? please i really would like some help as the stages i am at r pure anger and hatred… i am 22 and she is 18.. if that helps in any way…she was 1st first love and i was hers well i hope i was…i still think things can be mended i just feel like i keep hitting a brick wall please help if you can thank you…

  30. Kristian Says:
    January 7th, 2011 at 5:25 am

    Guys do u hear yourselves you sound like clingy desperate idiots who don’t love her one bit but love the idea of being with someone and are afraid to be alone! Stop being beta males and start acting like alphas u don’t NEED any girl u don’t have to have her or anygirl for that matter be strong confident and on your own! Life goes on with or without this girl your best bet to get any girl back is to no contact her period all of u have been in relationships with these women for a long time which means they did have true feelings for u but with your pussy attitudes and neediness u pushed them away! Regain control women are insecure needy creatures they want strong alpha men around them not idiots confessing their undying love because they too afraid no one else will want them!

  31. Craig Says:
    January 10th, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    So I feel like I’ve made the changes in my life and attitude to make myself and my ex happy. I’ve texted her and called her once only with no response. I feel like calling her more or showing up at her house will be stalker like. I want to show her I’ve improved myself and I love her. Any ideas?

  32. Master Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    I like this discussion.

    I like what Kristian said; “Regain control women are insecure needy creatures they want strong alpha men around them not idiots confessing their undying love because they too afraid no one else will want them!”

    I have also been through situation more like few times “in the same woman” LOL. Yes I enjoed some pain impossible to describe and bla bla bla… my advice to all you, change ‘YOU’ change yourself. When you change world changes. People who think they’re focused on having more money may actually find that they’re focused on avoiding poverty. Others might think they’re focused on having a relationship with someone when they’re really focused on avoiding being alone.

    The point is simply that what we think we’re focused on moving toward may really reflect something we’re trying to move away from.

    Trying to move away from fear/loneliness etc. is a scarcity attitude. Women can sense it. Grow up. Enjoy living on your own. Forget the pussy. Do whatever you want with your new life, you new “xpanded identity” let it shine. She did you a favor. She “pushed” you to grow. That’s how I see it. Trust me you’ll love it “Grasshopppers.”

  33. david Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    met this girl in a club, since then i’ve been in touch, we’ve been on a date twice, we hugged and kissed. But lately she started cancelling all our dates. Don’t know what went wrong and confused. What step should i take?

  34. donovan Says:
    April 12th, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    I love this discussion, I see a lot of pathetic whimpering men(myself included) Im making a decision to quit acting like this. This is ridiculous. Seriously, obviously some are worse than others but I tried to beg her back too, lot of good that did — moving on, Happy Confident and full of life…..Wheeewwwwhhhh Hoooooo!!

  35. Nate Says:
    April 17th, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Hey guys. I was with a girl for a year and a half and we were both deeply in love with eachother. Before meeting me, she had never been one for committed relationships and loved the freedom of being single. After we met, she slowly opened up and began to be ok with the steps we took toward bf and gf. Eventually, we were together and soon she even said she loved me. We both knew it and meant it. Unfortunately, about 4 months ago she started feeling restless and antsy. Her need to be single had resurfaced. She tried desperately to hide it and be with me, because she loved me so much, but eventually she couldn’t bear to keep me in the relationship that I thought was 100% anymore. She broke up with me saying that she wasn’t ready for a relationship of that magnitude and needed to be single, but that she still loves me and wants to continue talking/be friends, because she doesn’t want me out of her life. So far, I have stopped talking to her for about a week. I told her it hurts too much. Please give me some advice. This was my first love and I know she was exactly what I needed. I’ve never felt this low. What should I do?

  36. nick Says:
    May 6th, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    I just recented broke up with my ex-fiance of mnths.. Its been really hard on me and i knw its been hard on her as well. I miss her and the more i try to forget her the more pain thts put on my heart. Songs i hear remind me of her, i look at the picrs of us we took during christmas time,i try to stop emailing her or calling because i wanna hear her voice, i feel lke im obessed with her. Evrything i do reminds me of her. I love her and i feel lost nw. Ima grown man but i feel lke i losted my better half of me. Shes pregnant with our first child and i wanted to be there to share in the experience and im missing out. I realize my mistakes nw. I LEFT TO MANY EMOTIONAL SCARS THT MAY NEVER HEAL ALL THE WAY. i FEEL SHE HATES ME NW AND I DNT BLAME HER. gOD, IF GIVING ANOTHER CHANCE I WANNA DO RIGHT BY HER. I miss her and my unborn baby so much my heart aches evryday frm it. wht should i do to try to get my wife back?

  37. rishav jain Says:
    May 26th, 2011 at 10:27 am

    i was in relationship from 6th april 2007.It was going all good she is very flirty and always tried to show me that i am very small among all his friend but she still comes to for help i was badly hurted by her but i still love her and always will because she is my first and last love.her cell always use to be busy every night when ever i use to call her.i had cried for her like anything.On 14th feb,valientines day i text her on her cell at12:00 am at night.THe day i went her home with some chocolates and roses,but she finally said that i don’t want to keep any relationship with you it’s not working any more….I felt like dying at that moment…The worst of my life now she in a relationship with anoter guy but i still love her like anythig,she is my life and always will.I LOVE YOU SWEET HEART always and miss you like anything…I am always yours…Please come back i promise it won’t happen again…Please help me to get her back dying every moment for her….!!! :-(

  38. Paul Says:
    June 3rd, 2011 at 4:26 am

    Well it was interesting to read, however I wont be trying to get her back, how much it kills me!

    So many bad points and she has hurt me too much, I am hurting so bad however I highly doubt she is hurting or cares, because she is like that!

    I know I am better off without her however

  39. Paul Says:
    June 3rd, 2011 at 4:26 am

    I know I am better off without her and she will only continue to hurt me :(

  40. Michael Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 12:20 am

    I was with the most beautiful girls in the world. She changed my life. We were together for a year and one night she said she was going to see her mom. She later told me she went to see her ex. But the catch is she broke up with me right before she told me. Its been about 5 weeks since the split and every second I have been dying and I keep trying to get her back everyday I call or send a sweet text because i want to. Nothings working Please help me i need her in my life im literally dying I cant move on without her. Its affecting my entire life . Please im begging help me because I cant do it alone. I love her so much Thank you

  41. Mike Says:
    August 10th, 2011 at 6:27 am

    Well, My story…
    I asked her out 11 days before I deployed. We lasted through the entire deployment, So that right there told me she loved me.

    When I got back home, We dated for a while and then I asked her to marry me.

    I bought a ring and put some money down on it. I told her i paid for it in full. But I’m in the army, and we don’t make that much.

    So last month, I took leave from texas to go see her. We got into a fuss, and i told her to “Move”. I didn’t say it in a nice tone, nor did I yell at her. Her mom was sitting in a chair off to the side a little, and witnessed the whole thing.

    Now I would NEVER hit a woman, but her mom’s understanding of this little argument was that I was going to hit her. So she told me to pack my bag and go to my mom’s. I didn’t want to go, and i told her i wasn’t going to go. But i didn’t have anywhere else to go besides back to texas. I didn’t want to leave and go 1700 miles away just for us to make up and her want me to come back over. So i went to my mom’s. about 19 days later she finds out that i went to my mom’s house and breaks up with me for lying.

    Now I have lied to her in the past, and promised I wouldn’t anymore.

    She started talking. Says we can talk about a relationship when I get back home.

    Yesterday, I got a $50 gift card, and she took that as me being desperate for money and asked me where all my money was going. So i told her the truth. I listed all my bills (including her ring) and she got mad and said she is done. Goodbye.

    I don’t want to push her, but I also do not want to walk away. I know she loves me because she slips up and tells me. She says she can’t trust me, and she can’t be in a relationship where there is no trust.

    I don’t want to lie to her about anything else. I don’t know how to prove this when old stuff keeps coming out of the woodwork. I was a fool, and I want to know how to make it up to her so we can continue to be happy. Neither of us want it to really be over.

  42. Dess Says:
    December 7th, 2011 at 8:40 am

    If ther is no chance of getting her back finding another would be an option. If she is not married there is a chance of getting her back. But have you noticed that the number of Girls is much much more greater than that of boyz. Cheers we have more options!

  43. angelx Says:
    January 4th, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    all girls want is to be loved! take it from a girl who knows. When a relationship ends, the guy never realises he has broken her heart so many times she just cant stand it anymore! you need to think, men, and make an effort to make us happy, or you cant expect a girl to stay. xxx

  44. nick Says:
    June 16th, 2012 at 5:12 am

    Hi,

    I’m currently facing a huge problem in my life. My gf just broke up with me the day before saying that she had lost feelings for me and it had been already a month. When i asked her what made her liked me before, she told me that if i were to ask her that question in the past, she could answer me but right now she just cant see it anymore and that the feeling is just gone. But she said that during that time she was trying to see if she would be able to gain back the feelings and was waiting to see if God would give her any signs that she should move on or stayed together with me. She also told me that she got really tired somewhere along the relationship and just couldnt hold on anymore. When she first told me that she wanted to break up, i begged for a week to be apart so that we could spend less time going out with each other in case if us going out together every single day has been the cause of this. However, after the two days of no contact with her, she told me that she felt so happy and free during that time that i wasnt with her and that all this time she felt smothered and suffocated, like she was drowning, but now she felt so free and happy. She told me that i’m a nice guy and that she liked me the most among all her ex’s but she said that the thing is that i’m just not the guy for her. She even told me to let go of her and move on and also to open my ‘windows’ for others to come in my life because she will not wait for me. I feel that part of the reason of her not being able to hold on anymore was cause of the fact that i have been restricting her too much and have been way over protective in every sense of the way. It’s been two days now since the breakup and i cant stop thinking of the moments that we spent with each other and if she even misses me. I really want to get back to her and start anew but the thing is that she said that she doesnt want it anymore during that day when i pleaded for a second chance during the breakup. What am i supposed to do now? And how do i change myself in this aspect of being over protective and possessive? What do you think the chances are for her to ever regain back her feelings for me in my current situation?

    I need help !

  45. Lee Says:
    July 7th, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    I suggest prayer and patience. I was with my high school sweetheart for over ten years and we have three beautiful children together. I was the type of guy that was very focused on my goals and career and she was a very loving and supportive woman to me, but, career wise and in other areas it was usually all about me and what I wanted. I don’t think it was purely out of selfishness that I was that way, because, I really wanted the best for my family and to be a good bread winner. To make a long story short I landed my dream job but it required me to move across the country. Prior to my move our relationship was on shaky ground and we had been separated for about two months but before I left she cried with me we talked and were intimate and we spent an incredible last week together so I left on good terms. While I was away I expressed that I wanted her and the kids to move with me so they came for a visit and they loved it. She agreed to come back out and be a family. One month later when she was supposed to come she changed her mind and told me she didn’t feel comfortable leaving her job and also her sisters didn’t want her to leave them and their family and she didn’t want to come and feel like things might not workout in our relationship. It made it incredibly difficult to live and work without having my family around and I started to realize something, maybe a career and money and “stuff” really isn’t all that important… maybe it’s just being able to hear the sound of your little kids feet as they’re running up the stairs, maybe it’s just being able to lay next to someone every night and know that they truly love you. Be thankful and recognize what you have when you have it and I know that’s the general theme here but it really is so absolutely true. After a year away I came back home to stay. I gave up my job, my car, and my salary and I have nothing but worst of all I don’t have them. I gave everything up for the chance to be with them however now it seems worse than ever She will hardly have a conversation with me and she doesn’t want to spend any time at all she tells me she loves her life now. I was a little untrusting when I was with her, I was a little controlling, I was a little selfish and I never complemented her like she truly deserved. I took her for granted but I LEARNED and I CHANGED and I became a better man. I still want to be with her but most of all I want to prove to her that she means more than everything that I ever thought was important to me. It would take a miracle for her to come back but she is my soulmate and I have faith that with Prayer and trust all is possible through God, but, not my will, his.

  46. confused Says:
    July 14th, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Listening to all your comments, thought I will tell you about mine.Met a man on line said he wanted to have a fun friendship, dated 3-4 months. Told me he felt confused,unsettled?. Well I said OK we call it a day. Now nearly three weeks later told me was in contact with previous ex( who he wanted to marry but she did not Now she is interested in him again and then tells me its good to be fought over by two women. So I was obviously the rebound relationship.Now I am lost and confused.

  47. Paul Says:
    July 15th, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    i have this relationship for like 3 years,now i’m really hollow cause i lost her…i really wanna take her back, i know i do a lot of mistakes that she didn’t like, i lie,mad,and communication going really bad, but after such things she still there, but wright now she come to point where she is enough, she decided to separate, she doesn’t wan me to contact her for like 6 months, GOD i’m so regret from what i’m doing to her, i really want her back because i do know that she is my soul mate, the greatest thing that i have in life, i want to do everything for her, i wanna change everything for her, i need clue and way to get her heart…i don’t know what to do, every day that i’m living through is like in living hell…PLEASE…I NEED AN ANSWER…

  48. sentiboy Says:
    July 16th, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    i and my gf had been in relation for about 1 and half year……everything was going fine..but..few months back she got calls and text messages frm a new guy..she shared me most of their conversations..she didnt hide it frm me…now 2-3 weeks later….when i called her as on regular basis…at the middle of conversation,she asked me for a break up..when i questioned her why?, she told me that she feels happy with his conversations and has somehow started to like that guy…as she had already met him couple of times….some days later, she told staight on my face that she has feelings for him…and likes his appearance….she told me that we can be good/best frens..cos she couldnt also forget n hate me..as i have done nothing bad to her….thinking of her happiness i told her u be with whom u feel happy…she even told about all this stuff to her frens and families…i dnt know whats running in her minds….and i cant figure things out…but i still have a feeling that she might return back to me..cos i truely love her….so at the moment i have given my words that i will stay as her best fren…she also tells me that i mean more than love…n frens…and she stated to me that “no one can take ur place in my life”…i m totally confused about what is in her mind…but deep inside i have a feeling that everything she told is truth…give me some advise on what i should do now..??????help help help

  49. TheGoodDoctor Says:
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Guys - if you have been dumped and you want her back, I have two words for you: do nothing. I mean absolutely nothing. She broke up with you? Wish her well. Tell her she is right and you had been thinking the same thing as thing just weren’t as good as they had been. Don’t cry, beg, plead, buy her gifts, call, text, email, whatever. Don’t do anything. Cut off all contact. She calls you, don’t pick up. Don’t return her calls. After all, she broke up with you - you owe her nothing! Live well - it is the best revenge. She’ll meet some other guy, but guess what? She’ll be thinking about you because you took it like a man, moved on, and are having the time of your life without her. One of two things will happen - she will come crawling back (and then you have to decide if you want her back) or you will meet someone better. I hope for most of you it is the latter. Peace.

  50. George Says:
    October 21st, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Rob
    I happen to be in a somwhat similar situation. The girl I fell in love with is scarred too and has a very difficult life because trouble just keeps piling up on her. She had terrible experiences with men and witnessed a lot of death and well… she’s that kind of girl who doesn’t run from trouble.
    You see, if you really want to help her, then you have to give yourself away to her completely. You have to be patient, understand her, help her when sheš down, give advice when confused and possibly pose as the good guy you are (she might be interested in those who hurt her, don’t pretend to be them). Also given you are friendzoned you have to be subtle, you care for her, but you shouldn’t be a doormat. Also the moment you become her psychologist, you are not her partner. You can still help her, given she helps you too. That is a good relationship.
    Also, as a friend you are more able to help her out, but it is dangerous if you are interested in her romantically/erotically. So you want her to be interested in you the same way, if she doesn’t find you attractive - give it up, and do not make yourself a slave of something twisted. Or make yourself attractive.

  51. man Says:
    November 11th, 2012 at 7:53 am

    my girlfrend and i jus broke up and she z really angry but i did nothing am jus confused as she is all i think about all day

  52. Tomi Says:
    November 14th, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    i just got heartbroken too..but believe me, i thought i couldn’t leave with the pain @ first but alas! I have survived 2weeks with it now…and it doesnt hurt that much again..i think am gonna apply KRISTIAN AND THEGOODDOCTOR suggestion..have been thinking of that before, but now i feel its d ultimate solution..U DONT DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART, U ONLY WISH U DID..Learn to move on with ur life, i know its hard but LIFE GOES ON….P34C3

  53. brad Says:
    November 28th, 2012 at 12:19 am

    I moved out today. As far as I know we are still together but we need a break. We are killing each other inside and resenting each other. 6 months ago we were more in love with each other than we had ever been with anyone else. We would wonder out loud to each other if it was healthy, say things like we would never be able to go on if something happened to the other. It was deep and intense but it was real. I had never felt that before. Then reality set in…bills, family, crappy jobs. We didn’t know how to handle real life and we started pushing each other away. We were insecure, I voiced my insecurities more than her but I know she was just as insecure. Sometimes I don’t know how to just shut up and let things be. I always want to fix everything. She isn’t in love with who I am now, but who I was. She told me that. So the only way I know how to get that back is to leave for a bit and clear our heads, get strong, so I can be better for myself and she will find me appealing again. Im afraid this break will make her realize her life is better without me in it, but it is a chance I have to take, because if I would have stayed we would have definitely destroyed each other. I am trying to act strong. She called a few times today after I left. Hell, we are best friends. I am faking what I say and how I say it. But I don’t want to sound too good or she will think I like being away from her. I don’t want to cry because weakness is not attractive. I don’t know what to do.

  54. Jacky tan Says:
    December 7th, 2012 at 6:07 am

    Me and my girlfriend were once living everyday blissfully, but tru months, she no longer put me as her priority….as time goes by ,we had quarrels. Tho we make up and the end of the day, her feelings trust and faith lose tru those quarrels. My love for her is still as much as before. More but not less. Now she doesnt even want to hold my hand. She suggested us being seperate for the time being, and it’s less than a day,I’m starting to miss her already. What can I do?

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