By Dr. George Karanastasis
Many guys let a relationship fall apart before attempting to save it in the first place. And it’s unfortunate because it’s much harder to get a girl back after a breakup (due to the bitter fights they often lead to) than to keep her in the first place.
So in light of this fact, here’s a simple, yet highly effective, tactic to fix your relationship if it’s currently heading south.
The obvious thing is to sit down, discuss your differences, and devise a game plan of how you’re going to solve those differences. For example, you’ll stop leaving the toilet seat up and she’ll cook more often. Just joking! But in all seriousness, that’s what most couples do when they get to this point in their relationship. They make the initial effort and then leave it at that.
And that’s the major problem with this approach. The promised changes are never actually made. Eventually, somebody (or most likely both parties) will revert back to his or her old ways. Next thing you know, you’re fighting over the same issues, again, and the inevitable happens: you break up.
But, by making a slight change to the above approach, you’re guaranteed to have a much higher chance of fixing the relationship and following through on anything that’s been promised.
What is that you ask? Simple…
Instead of just talking things over and making your respective promises to each other verbally… write everything down. Seriously - do this. Grab a pen and a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle to form two columns, and put each of your names on the top of those two columns.
Next, write down exactly what’s bothering you and the proposed solution. Finally, once you’re both in agreement of what should be done to correct these problems, put the piece of paper in a highly visible place (i.e. on the refrigerator door).
Now why is this so effective? Actually, there are two reasons:
1. The principle of ‘Commitment & Consistency’. By taking the extra step to put your problems and solutions into writing (rather than merely talking them over) - you’re subconsciously making a much stronger commitment to stick to your proposed changes. Why? For the sake of brevity I won’t go into a lengthy explanation, but trust me nonetheless (you can also check it out on Wikipedia). Onward…
2. The inability to “forget” and the absence of misunderstandings. First of all, by keeping this piece of paper in a visible place you’ll be reminded of your promises every single day - even several times per day. “Forgetting” to follow through becomes a lot harder when you have such a constant reminder.
And second of all, because you’ll already have agreed (in writing) on the current problems you face in your relationship - and the exact solutions - there will be no room for misunderstandings down the road. You know, the way there would be if you had just talked things over. Of course, you can make amendments to the “rules” as the need arises, but you’ll never have to worry about fighting over who said what.
That’s the gist of it. Again, it’s simple by don’t be fooled by its simplicity. It’s a highly effective tactic that can fix your relationship before it falls apart so you can keep this girl where she belongs: in your arms. And if you feel the relationship has steered too far down a bad path, click here to read this resource for stopping your breakup - even if you’re the only one that’s trying…
Topics: How To Stop Your Breakup |
these 6 tips (it could push her further away)...