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Do You Really Want Her Back or Is It Just Rejection?
By Dr. George Karanastasis | September 9, 2009
Whenever we lose something, it’s natural to want it back. Breakups are a perfect example of this. But here’s a question to consider…
What are we actually pursuing: the girl or just our ego? It’s a very important point (especially if the answer is the latter).
In all fairness, one can never truly know before getting back together. Judgment is impaired by emotion. In fact, many men realize this only after the fact when they’re finally thinking clearer.
However, you can (and should) get a better idea while you’re still broken up. Because if it’s your ego, not only will this free you to focus energy on something more productive… but it will save you a whole lot of heartache in the process.
With that said, answering these 3 questions will help you decide…
1. How did you feel about this girl immediately before the breakup?
Where you bored with the relationship? Perhaps considering other options? This is not uncommon. Just like girls, many guys will stick with their partner out of convenience until someone “better” comes along. But when she ends things first, he instantly wants her back. But it’s his ego he’s really after… not the girl.
The complete opposite case is a situation such as cheating. Perhaps you messed up one night. You weren’t looking for anyone new but she still fell in your lap. One thing led to another and now you’ve lost your girl. In all probability, it’s her you want back - not just your ego.
2. How do you feel about her being with someone else?
Now, I don’t expect anyone to say “fine” to this question. It hurts like hell. But take some time to really think about it. What are the exact emotions this thought brings out of you (jealousy, resentment, sorrow, loneliness)?
Again, take a moment to examine your feelings. Better yet, write them all down. When you’re done, proceed to the final question to find out why…
3. Why do you feel that way about the above?
Here’s why I asked you to really think about the previous question: you want to discover exactly why the thought of her being with someone else makes you feel the way you do.
That “why” will guide your decision as to whether to put the relationship behind you or seek for a second chance.
Now, if you’re feeling jealous - that’s normal. But if that’s it, then it’s possible that your ego is the only thing you’re after - not the girl. The same goes for loneliness. How would you feel if you had something else right now? See the point I’m trying to make?
However, if you can honestly throw sorrow into that mix then it’s a different story. Are you sorry that you lost such a wonderful person — someone who “completes and complements” you — and feel like you can’t “replace” them? If that’s the case then getting her back is the right move.
Again, these questions (and your answers) are merely a rough guide. They’re meant to steer you in the right direction: move on or attempt to get her back. But ultimately, it’s up to you to decide.
If it’s the former, the best way to start is by meeting some new girls. Nothing builds confidence faster than the admiration of other women. And if you’re a little reluctant because you’ve been out of the game for so long, use the internet. It’s a great way to get in touch with others without the restrictions of the real world. Here’s an excellent guide to get your started.
However, if you truly believe that this is the girl for you and you’ll give anything to have her back, then click here and get this report. It will put you on the right path towards accomplishing your goal.
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Topics: How To Get Her Back |