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Can You Win Her Back? 6 Signs She Still Wants You
By Dr. George Karanastasis | January 15, 2008
So, you’ve recently broken up with your girlfriend and now you’re trying to win her back…
The problem is, you don’t know how to go about it… you’re confused. One day you’re sure she can’t live without you, the next, it seems like she couldn’t care less if you’re alive or dead (figuratively speaking).
With this in mind, is it any wonder that you’re questioning the possibility of getting her back?
Well here’s something to cast aside your doubts. What follows are 6 tell-tale signs she’s still interested in you (some more subtle than others). And if you can pick out even one, rest assured that your chances of saving your relationship are alive and well…
Sign #1: Conduct unbecoming of a mere friend… (e.g. excessive flirting, “innocent” kisses… or even straight out sex)
This sign should be obvious. Unfortunately most men dismiss it. Why? Because they (mistakenly) treat it as an open invitation to jump back into the relationship. However, when they suggest working things out… the proposition is quickly met with a hope-crushing comment such as “I think it’s best we remain friends”.
Why is that? Simple… the attraction is still there but the core essentials that keep couples together are missing. A relationship lives and dies with attraction - when the latter goes the former soon follows. However, attraction in itself is not enough to keep a girl. She has other needs and she’s either going to get them from you… or someone else.
The key here is to use an indirect approach. Let her come to her own conclusions that you’re capable of giving her what she wants. Do not verbally express this. She’ll take everything you have to say with a grain of salt… after all you are the ex with an agenda, right?
Sign #2: She gets jealous when you mention other girls
Whenever your ex girlfriend reacts to something you say (or do) it’s a sure sign she’s still interested. This goes double if she gets jealous of other girls. It means that she’s not ready to fully let you go… even though she won’t necessarily take you back. In her eyes, you still “belong” to her in a sense.
One word of warning: do not abuse this fact and deliberately try to make her jealous. You are in no position to be playing games. She clearly has the upper hand and you’re not emotionally ready to handle the consequences of losing.
Instead, just take comfort in knowing that the window opportunity to win her back is still open (if you play your cards right, that is)…
Sign #3: She attempts to makes you jealous by mentioning other guys
Just like with the last sign, this too is a dead giveaway that she still wants you. If she didn’t then she wouldn’t be going through the trouble to get a reaction out of you. She’d move on with her life without caring what you think of her (or any of her newfound “friends”).
However, many men seem to consider this a warning of worse to come. Don’t fall into this trap, and above all, don’t attempt to “get even”. Instead, keep your cool about the situation. It will only make her try harder to get you to react. And that’s exactly what you’re looking for if you want to win her back.
Sign #4: She gets furious when you blow her off
Are you starting to see a pattern here? Even a reaction such as anger should keep your hopes alive. It’s indifference that should cause you panic. But again, do not abuse this fact - it will come back to bite you in the…
Whenever you make plans (to call, meet, etc.) - keep them. If you don’t, sooner than later the tables will turn and it will be she that’s blowing you off. And if you need some space and can’t be in contact with her, politely tell her next time you see her. Don’t ignore her altogether.
Sign #5: She constantly calls, texts, or Emails “just to see how you’re doing”
It’s natural for your ex girlfriend to be concerned about your well-being after a breakup. But there’s a fine line between concern and downright desire to keep you in her daily life.
You see, if she was truly over you she wouldn’t feel the need to keep you so close… even if she considers you her best friend. Instead, she’d go looking elsewhere to fill the void this breakup has left her with.
However, you must tread softly with this sign and act accordingly. I know it’s nice to hear her voice on a daily basis but the last thing you want to do is go from being a temporary ex-boyfriend to a permanent friend. Keep a healthy distance in this situation.
Sign #6: She avoids tying up “loose ends”
For example, she keeps all of her belongings at your place and constantly puts off getting them back. Likewise, she stops by ever so often to pick up a few things at a time (even though she could have gotten them all in one trip).
Do you know why she does this? She’s not ready to let you go. By keeping her stuff in your possession and getting them a little a time, she has the perfect excuse to meet you on a regular basis.
So there they are: 6 signs she’s still interested, or better yet, 6 signs you can win her back. And again, if your ex is showing even one… rest assured that the window of opportunity to be with her again is still wide open. All you need to do is handle the situation with tact and you should be well on your way to saving your relationship.
And if you need more help in this matter, click here to read a special report that gives you a deceptively simple (yet highly effective) plan to win her back.
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Topics: How To Get Her Back |
December 29th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
My ex and I still stay together I will try to go sleep on the couch but she would say you don’t have to do that so I don’t we sleep in the same bed I will not try anything do to the fact that i’m afraid of pushing her away
January 5th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Dear Dr. Karanastasis,
I was dating this girl for a year and a half coming up to thanksgiving. After dinner with her family she told me that we needed to talk. She explained to me that she needed some space to hang out with her friends more and do her own thing. She made it very clear that there is no one else and she does not want random meaningless sex, but she said she might want to go on a dinner date with someone later down the road if they ask. On top of that she still tells me she loves me, cares about me, and still thinks i’m good looking, but that she hasn’t gotten butterflies for a while and didn’t think it was necessary to tell me when it first started. She continuously and emphatically says that no matter what, she will come back to me and that i’m the one she wants to marry and have children with? She still asks to hang out roughly once a week and says we need to remain in each others lives. We met each other in a rough time in both of our lives and we have both changed ourselves around for the best. And we’ve always had a great sex life. I’ve done my best to give her space but she always brings things up about us… So it’s very hard. I was reading the signs that she wants you back and 5 out of 6 ring true. What do i do? I can’t afford your book otherwise i’d buy it… I also feel i have a really unique situation going on here but don’t know how to go about it? And she also has outside influences that tell her that she should be partying it up single while in college and experience other guys. Also we’ve never really argued and we’ve had a pretty balanced relationship and the “break” all happened so fast! I’ve put a lot of thought into whether i truly want her. It’s been a bit over a month now and i’m sure without a doubt that she is the one and only for me! What do I do!? I need some help. Thank you for your time and advice! Sincerely, Darrin
July 16th, 2009 at 5:14 am
Me and my ex were together for 22 months and she broke up with me. She decided right away we needed to sleep seperatly so I sleep downstairs. I have constantly told her how I feel and asked about a guy that asked her out. Tonight she came home for the first night and she says something is wrong but she does not know what, but she will tell me when she figures it out. But her and the other guy are not getting together. Tonight she sent me a message at work telling me she would be home. But she also asked for me to sleep with her tonight. Is that a sign she wants to get back or what.
September 1st, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Darrin. Wow, reading your post I couldn’t help but see my own situation. Nearly word for word is exactly what I have been through the past week.It came out of nowhere…just need space..never argued or fought.. and I definitely know that she’s right for me. Let me know if you ever get any of the answers..
September 17th, 2009 at 2:08 am
I broke up with my girl friend and now i want her back. I don’t know where to drawl the line on giving her sex, flirting, kisses, cuddling, letting her sleep over, and how much attention i should give her. how do i know if im over doing it? she never really calls or texts me first. should i persue her?
October 10th, 2009 at 12:34 am
I just came onto this site and it seemed really interesting. Me and my ex-girlfriend have been dating for 3 years and 3 months. We’ve had our great moments, and we’ve had our terrible ones.. but overall we were good. In September, she came out of the blue and told me she wanted to be single. I find out like two days later she has a new boyfriend (who is 32, and shes 19) and that she has moved into a new town, into his apartment. I’ve made all the mistakes that these sites say not to do, but now I’ve kind of gotten over her having a new man and what not.
However, and this is where my question lies, she has been giving me A LOT of mixed signals. She could go days without texting or calling me, and when she sees me with another girl she texts me saying “wear a condom, please be safe”. Other times she will tell me “Jeremy (her new man) doesn’t feel comfortable with me texting you” so I said “Thats okay, I’ll delete your number.” she then freaks saying “Please don’t erase my number, please.” More recently we had met up because now I am trying to move on and I gave her a box filled with everything she had given me.. she started crying, telling me she loved me and missed me but things are different now, etc etc. I held her because I can’t stand to see her cry, and we actually kissed for a couple of seconds. Three days later I went to her job to buy something and her boyfriend was there (hes a co-worker of hers as well) and he saw me, and like 5-10 minutes later she called me.. I ignored it, but there was no voicemail or anything. Its been a week now..
My question is, what should I really do? I want her back because I really do love her and its obvious to me she still has feelings, but what is my best course of action? One minute she seems cold and distant, the next she acts like she is DYING to hear from me.. please help me?
November 14th, 2009 at 9:03 am
By reading your letter it is not hard to see she is mixed up. The best thing in my eyes would be to stay friends and let her sort out her feelings. Be there as a friend only. If the time comes when you know she is ready and she is willing to give you 100% then and only then should you consider taking the next step. BUT !! Take it very slow at that point. If she honestly loves you she will respect you.
One last thing. This for your sake. Look at what’s best for you. Be honest with yourself and ask the question. Will she give you everything your looking for.
November 15th, 2009 at 4:23 am
me and my girlfriend i guess just broke up tonight and i said some words that were not right i guess cause i was pissed and upset we live together i dont have a place to go she is will to be my room mate i love her so much and it will kill me to see or even hear that she is with someone else, i’ve wrote her a note asking her to give me one last chance is that a good thing to do? and plus we have a wonderfull son together and she’s a wonderfull mother to my son as well
February 17th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
I was in a relationship since may 2008 (the honeymoon year). 2009 arguments increased throughout. She broke up with me for about a day in january, then we moved in a one bedroom in mid april with some more issues but still our relationship was very good and we loved each other. Money and jobs were an issue among other things. In September she moved her mother in who had no job and still doesn’t, and then her sister who lost her apartment. We were already having problems and then I became the one with no job while she worked and I was unable to work things out with all the interference. After an argument in early october with essentially all three of them I moved out but later told her that I only did it to get away from them not her. Both this and January was abandonment issues with her, and she broke up with me again. After “dating” someone else she reconciles with me the next month and talks about us living together exclusively for this year, but i guess the scars of her family living there (because they give her stress too) my inability to meet her needs, my personal issues, and her personal issues took a toll, and in January of this year she tells me that she no longer feels the same about me/us, no spark, doesn’t love me in that way, but still deeply cares about me and I’m about the only person she can truly talk to. She even feels weak to me and claims that I made her feel normal, and I tried to console her. But after another argument this seems to conveniently let her go of me. Her neediness of me is gone now. She still hopes I’m okay, and I was very frustrated at her breaking up with me again (i just finally realized the 3 breakups), said some mean things, pleaded, and tried to reason, and tell her to take some time before dating anyone else. She may not be “dating” but she still talks to other guys and despite saying she wants to be on her own she doesn’t want to be ALONE, and she can talk much easier to guys.
Basically there are a few signs that suggest that I could win her back. She still likes talking to me, still thinks dearly of me, didn’t rule out totally us getting back together even when her mother suggested that, prayed that things would work out between us and doesn’t want it to be this way, but the opposite: she says I’m not the man for her, we are too similar, we may have grown apart.
But I don’t feel this way, and so many unfortuante circumstances interfered and ruined with out chance to discover true happiness and we must not give up.
I can’t imagine my life without her, but I know I have to go on.
What I’ve eventually done is like the sites said, I told her I accept the break up and I’m going to move on from you. She kept talking to me for the rest of the day, and I was like NO I cannot do that, but I do love talking to her. So on V-Day morning I told her I have to stop talking to you for several weeks. She agreed but I don’t know her true feelings. Today is day 3 or 4.
Am I on the right track?
March 2nd, 2010 at 8:25 pm
my ex and i were together for about 2 and a half years and have a beautiful lil girl together but in sept 09 i came home from work and she was gone with a note saying she couldn’t handle it anymore and has moved in with her mum 160 miles away I tried calling her to know avail then had bassically no contact for 4 months she let me call my daughter 3 times a week but her mother took those calls then all of a sudden after our first visit with my daughter she starts texting again asking about my new gf so i broke of with my current so we could give it another try and things went well for a while about 6 weeks then last weekend i went up to stay and we had fun we talked cuddled kissed had a great time together although i had damaged my ankle the day before i went up and i had honestly forgot to tell her it needs xrays but told her when i came back and she hit the roof and now all of a sudden were goin with the flow what the hell am i supposed to do