By Dr. George Karanastasis
Rich Santos hit the nail on the head with his recent article on why some breakups take longer to recover from than others. So, does it depend on the people involved or is it merely a matter of the underlying circumstances? Santos leans towards the latter and I couldn’t agree more.
In a nutshell, he lists 7 common scenarios and goes on to explain why each is worse than one before. And while he’s spot on in almost every respect… there is one thing he left out. That missing detail will take even the most brutal of breakups and whisk the pain away faster than you ever thought possible.
And we’ll get to that in a moment… but first, here’s a short run-down of the list (in increasing order of severity and recovery time) with commentary added…
1. The Mutual Breakup. Breakups are never easy but this is close as it gets. Both people want out, they agree to it, and move on with their lives.
2. The Circumstantial Breakup. This could be for any number of reasons (e.g. my parents hate you or the LDR). Not as easy but not as bad as what follows…
3. The Ultimatum Breakup. For example, “no more sampling the milk without making a down payment on the cow”. No doubt this one sucks but at least you can use your reason to back out as a tool to blunt the pain. Besides, there’s worse things that can happen such as…
4. The Something Someone Said Breakup. This one’s more annoying that anything else. Also, consider it more of a blessing. Why? Because you’re discovering a big incompatibility between the two of you before things get more serious (i.e. marriage and kids).
5. The I’ve Been Cheating Breakup. Ouch! Enough said. Does it get any worse than this? Oh yes, my friend…
6. The First Love Breakup. Now, I’m not one to get too hung up on the concept of “the one true love”, however, every negative experience tends to hurt more the first time around. You have no prior experience of this type of pain and it completely shatters your worldview of what love is. That and the harsh realization that you and your partner really aren’t going to be together forever… even though many people might have told you so.
7. The Blind Side. Now this one can be tied in together with the previous one and it can happen at the same time. Nevertheless, it deserves a mention of its own because when it happens later in life (i.e. after the first love) it tends to be that much more brutal. After all, you’re supposed to have some experience under your belt, right? At least some sort of foresight to not get caught by surprise, no? Well, these things happen - and when they’re so unexpected they can be particularly painful.
So there you have it. Each is worse than the one before it and will typically require more recovery time. However, even the worst of these can be overcome in a flash (and that’s what Santos failed to mention).
When someone else enters the picture. Nothing will make the pain go away faster than finding another (that, and getting back together). Of course, it’s not always the best way to go about things. It can actually make them worse.
Because it can merely delay the pain for a later date. Furthermore, a second breakup too close to the previous one may exacerbate the situation even more.
Whatever the case may be, have faith that it will come to pass and you’ll be whole once again - with or without her. But if you’re not ready to give up on the relationship and willing to try for a second chance… then click here to learn how to get her back.
Topics: How To Get Over Her |
these 6 tips (it could push her further away)...