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Breakup Recovery Time Depends on Type of Breakup (and This…)

By Dr. George Karanastasis

Breakup RecoveryRich Santos hit the nail on the head with his recent article on why some breakups take longer to recover from than others. So, does it depend on the people involved or is it merely a matter of the underlying circumstances? Santos leans towards the latter and I couldn’t agree more.

In a nutshell, he lists 7 common scenarios and goes on to explain why each is worse than one before. And while he’s spot on in almost every respect… there is one thing he left out. That missing detail will take even the most brutal of breakups and whisk the pain away faster than you ever thought possible.

And we’ll get to that in a moment… but first, here’s a short run-down of the list (in increasing order of severity and recovery time) with commentary added…

1. The Mutual Breakup. Breakups are never easy but this is close as it gets. Both people want out, they agree to it, and move on with their lives.

2. The Circumstantial Breakup. This could be for any number of reasons (e.g. my parents hate you or the LDR). Not as easy but not as bad as what follows…

3. The Ultimatum Breakup. For example, “no more sampling the milk without making a down payment on the cow”. No doubt this one sucks but at least you can use your reason to back out as a tool to blunt the pain. Besides, there’s worse things that can happen such as…

4. The Something Someone Said Breakup. This one’s more annoying that anything else. Also, consider it more of a blessing. Why? Because you’re discovering a big incompatibility between the two of you before things get more serious (i.e. marriage and kids).

5. The I’ve Been Cheating Breakup. Ouch! Enough said. Does it get any worse than this? Oh yes, my friend…

6. The First Love Breakup. Now, I’m not one to get too hung up on the concept of “the one true love”, however, every negative experience tends to hurt more the first time around. You have no prior experience of this type of pain and it completely shatters your worldview of what love is. That and the harsh realization that you and your partner really aren’t going to be together forever… even though many people might have told you so.

7. The Blind Side. Now this one can be tied in together with the previous one and it can happen at the same time. Nevertheless, it deserves a mention of its own because when it happens later in life (i.e. after the first love) it tends to be that much more brutal. After all, you’re supposed to have some experience under your belt, right? At least some sort of foresight to not get caught by surprise, no? Well, these things happen - and when they’re so unexpected they can be particularly painful.

So there you have it. Each is worse than the one before it and will typically require more recovery time. However, even the worst of these can be overcome in a flash (and that’s what Santos failed to mention).


When someone else enters the picture. Nothing will make the pain go away faster than finding another (that, and getting back together). Of course, it’s not always the best way to go about things. It can actually make them worse.


Because it can merely delay the pain for a later date. Furthermore, a second breakup too close to the previous one may exacerbate the situation even more.

Whatever the case may be, have faith that it will come to pass and you’ll be whole once again - with or without her. But if you’re not ready to give up on the relationship and willing to try for a second chance… then click here to learn how to get her back.

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6 Responses to “Breakup Recovery Time Depends on Type of Breakup (and This…)”

  1. Ray Says:
    March 11th, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    I think going into another relationship soon after a break up is not a good idea.
    These rebound relationships rarely work out. It’s better to take the situation one step at a time. Get your head and emotions together first, and when you feel the time is right, you are then able to make rational decisions on what to with your life.

  2. jhay Says:
    September 6th, 2010 at 12:34 am

    My ex girlfriend broke up with me cus I cheated on her, I found this great website called saveabreakup.com , I followed all the instructions on it and it helped me get back with my ex, now we’ve been together for almost 2 years. :)

  3. Nam Says:
    October 26th, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    My relationship with my Gf has recently ended. She was not only my first real love, but this was a circumstantial break up also. We both love each other still very much. The reason for ending the relationship was that she has to move away to work. We both can’t do long distance. Do you have any advice about getting over her?

  4. Nam Says:
    October 26th, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    sorry for commenting twice, but to correct, she was my first real love**

  5. Clint Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 6:21 am

    I agree with ray here, stay single untill your ready

  6. luke miller Says:
    December 17th, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    I ended a perfect 3 year realationship but I’ve moved on & found someoneeles


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