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6 Signs You’re Finally Over Your Ex Girlfriend
By Dr. George Karanastasis | March 24, 2008
Breakups have a way of taking your world and turning it upside-down. At first the pain is unbearable, the emotions overwhelming… and it seems as if nothing can make things right.
But time heals all wounds - and breakups are no exceptions to this. And while the process is gradual, you don’t realize that you’re slowly getting better until the worst has come to pass… as if someone flipped a switch and made the pain go away.
It’s at this point that you take notice to the fact you’ve made great headway in getting over your ex girlfriend - and here are 6 specific signs that validate this conclusion…
Sign #1: You’re no longer checking your voicemail 30 times a day in hopes that she called…
Every message you receive makes your heart beat a little faster when you’re going through a breakup. You’re hoping (even praying) that it’s her… that she was thinking of you and called to see how you’re doing.
You find yourself stuck in a destructive pattern of repeatedly checking your messages/Emails for some “proof of life”. And when you come up empty handed it deals a serious blow to your already fragile state.
Eventually, however, you not only stop waiting for her to call… you also stop caring that she doesn’t… And when you have a new voicemail (or Email), you’re not rushing to see who it’s from…
Sign #2: You go through the entire day without thinking of her…
At first, she constantly held the center stage in your thoughts. It seemed like everywhere you went, everything you talked about, and everything you saw reminded you of your ex girlfriend.
But this slowly started to fade until one night you realized that the whole day has passed without her entering your thoughts. A true sign of better days to come…
Sign #3: You stop “connecting” with the words of every sad song you happen to hear…
Isn’t odd how freakishly “spot on” the lyrics of a sad song are in depicting your situation when you’re going through a breakup? It’s as if the singer wrote the words down just for you.
And this causes you to play these sad songs over and over and over (personally, I spun the hell out of my Goo Goo Dolls CDs when dealing with my own relationship mishaps).
But this too comes to pass as you start substituting cheery beats for cheese love songs in your iPod shuffle. Then the day comes when you’re no longer convinced that every sad song was written with you in mind…
Sign #4: Your appetite comes back with a vengeance…
When the girl goes she usually takes your appetite with her… Everything seems “hard to swallow” when you’re feeling lovesick and food is no exception… In fact, a breakup can be quite the miracle diet for shedding those few extra pounds you’ve put on throughout your relationship.
However, sooner than later your appetite bounces back and you find a whole new taste for the foods you once enjoyed (plus your mom’s no longer worried that you might starve yourself to death).
And once your internal physiology has regained its balance - you proceed to take care of your external appearance…
Sign #5: Looking your best is no longer a burden…
Right after a breakup (and in the weeks that pass) rolling out of bed in the morning is hard enough in itself… let alone looking good. Your external appearance closely mirrors what you’re feeling within: distraught and disheveled.
But as the days roll on you start taking pride in the way you look and dressing your best is no longer an afterthought… it’s a priority… You’re finally starting to feel good about yourself, inside AND out.
And finally…
Sign #6: You start (really) taking notice of the opposite sex…
It seems as if every girl you come across when you’re in the midst of a breakup is in some way “inferior” to your ex (even if she’s strikingly more attractive and fun to be with). You just can’t seem to “connect” with her as you did with your girlfriend.
And then one day, she walks in… and it is at this moment that you realize that there really are other fish in the sea… even some that you’d like to get to know better… heck, even on a long-term basis.
When this happens you absolutely know that the worst is behind you and you can safely say that you’re finally over your ex girlfriend. Ironically, it’s at this point that your chances of getting her back are the best. In fact, don’t be too surprised if she decides to call you during these days.
It’s kind of funny how things tend to work out… Actually, it’s rather cruel - but so is life my friend…
Popularity: 51%
Topics: How To Get Over Her |
November 19th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
exactly how i feel right now, awful
December 30th, 2008 at 6:53 am
hey it is a great article and every step described here is the same i went through when i broke up some day with my girlfriend thanks you very much
January 8th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I split with my GF after 2 years (1 year long term and I’ve lived with her for a year). Although I loved her, we clicked, never argued and got on amazingly I knew that she wasnt the one.
It’s been a week, i can’t eat, have lost 12 lbs but to counter that I have vowed not to drink alcohol for at least a month, i’m getting in touch with my spiritual side (not a particular religion), going to the gym, not eating crap.
Trust me, women think that they are the only ones that have emotions, feelings.. they are not. As bad as you may feel, there needs to be synchronicity between the 2 partners. Desperate measures to resolve a relationship WON’T help.
Good luck & stay srong… and talk and reach out to those that you are close to. DON’T HIT THE BOTTLE!!
February 20th, 2009 at 12:33 am
wow… that was amazingly true. I have been in an on and off relationship for about 5 years. I was mainly the issue because I would say something really mean but not intentionally. Anyways all that above seems so true. I am very skeptical on the book though… “how to get her back for good” I tried searching for it at Barnes and noble and other sites online but can’t seem to find it. Do the methods in the book really work?
February 25th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Dont worry about it drew. I bet you’ve gotten over her already.
March 26th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
I want to give one HUGE piece of advice I wish I’d had before my huge break up 3 years ago…if you are REALLY hurting, and I mean REALLY, GO SEE A THERAPIST!
I had never experienced an ounce of depression until a huge break up a few years ago…I’ve gotten over the girl but not the depression. I don’t know if I’ll ever recover because I may have waited too long to get help. If it goes untreated for too long it can develop into a long term depression.
Getting over the girl may take a long time but it will happen, but getting over the depression might be harder.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:39 am
I was dumped 3 months ago, our agreement was to spend some time apart and regain our spirituality. But she changed her story after I left, she said it’s over, really hit me hard, even knew she was talking to another man, and getting into him more the days before I left. I have feelings and belief of being stronger now spiritually. Although I am not over her yet, I still do pray she’d rethink how strong our love was, she is really is going through problems and just moved out to another state blindly, she ignores all my attempts to help her and reach, but I’m doing what we agreed on, back on my feet spiritually and stronger, and have faith, which helps me get through everyday.
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:55 am
i dated my ex for 2 years…she was my first true love and my first girlfriend…she was the one that wanted to get with me really bad and she was really in love with me but i wasnt really at first but i asked her out and after a while i fell in love with her also…we argued alot but we had our fun times too there was times that we felt like true soulmates and times that i almost hated her but she broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and i have gone throught the majority of the stages and now i just really feel empty and depressed. its not that i wanna get back with her because i dont but i feel like im not going to ever love again as much as i loved her and im too scared to even think about that long term relationsihp. its been the most confusing week of my life and sometimes i question life of how it can be so cruel but i guess everything happens for a reason and we have to live with it
July 9th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Hang in there guys!!! I was hit hard when we broke up! I even found out she was hooking up with her abusive ex boyfriend… Just remember you are better than her!!!
I am finally at this point!
I no longer feel as hurt
HANG IN THERE!
August 4th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Guys, you shouldn’t settle, and trying to win someone back who left you for another dude, that’s settling. The right girl won’t play you like that. Let’s face the facts, most women are crazy, a lot of them want to play the “grass is greener” game. Best advice is move on, find things to occupy your time, and when you catch yourself thinking about her, change the subject, change the channel. A loving relationship should be a 50/50 deal.
I was with a girl for one year, we moved in together. Things were shakey from the start, we broke up, she ended up coming back to me, we moved in together, and it all fell apart from there. Why? Because, there were reasons why we broke up the first time, reasons that were valid. When someone is not that into you, why would you want to hold on to them? To make a long story short, I made the decision to break up and move out. I packed my stuff, and left. And though I tried to hold onto the relationship, and win her back, I realized there was a valid reason as to why I left her. There are too many fish in the seas my brothers. If she aint right, take flight!
August 6th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Wow…thank you so much for this article, I can relate to every point. Despite my confusing screen ID (and no, his name is not Jack), I am a woman and my boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago. At the time of the split, he told me that he still loved me but his reason for the breakup was because he didn’t plan to come back to L.A. (I live in L.A., I met him here, but he lives abroad now) and also that we differ hugely when it comes to religion - I am Christian, he is an atheist.
I haven’t contacted him for over 5 months now - no texts, emails, calls or even facebook messages - but I can say with certainty that I have struggled with this. Not a single day has passed that I haven’t thought of contacting him in some way. I know it is best that we are not together, but something continues to cling onto him.
I would say that I am about 99.5% over him, however that pesky .5% refuses to leave! I am slowly starting to date again, but in a way I feel guilty for seeing other guys. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.
Anywho..I could go on. I just wanted to say thank you Dr. George and thanks to the commenters. It’s nice to know others are trudging along, feeling like I do right now.
October 9th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Look, I have been through 3 major breakups in my day. I broke up with all three because they weren’t right. I recently just got broken up with by my ex whom I thought we were going to get married. But her career would keep her traveling and I was having difficulties with it. You see she is in the fashion world, and what i thought could deal with, in the end I was only being supportive for her and not true to myself. I didn’t want my future wife out to parties or promotions till 4am or have to travel to another country for a month or two. We ended up breaking up, and I was devistated. It’s been about a month, and she is out of the country right now, and I would shoot her an email now and then, but no response. We were inseperable, attached at the hip, and I didn’t even get one drunk dial. so I went through the motions, and man were there motions. I couldnt sleep, eat, work was suffering. But about a week ago I went on vacation with some real good friends, and had alot of time to think and put things in perspective. Nobody would walk away like that if they were trully in love with you, bottom line, because you love that person that much that you couldn’t be so cold. It was at that point that I began my true recovery. I joined martial arts, hiting the gym hard, got a one bedroom right by the beach, and you know what my work is getting better than ever. Don’t get me wrong I went through hell, I was real sad, but once I really made a concious effort to make this breakup my bitch, things started falling into place. So you guys need to do what I did, and take like a man at some point, realize that the realtionship was a great experience, and now get ready to take on the world. I still have my moments don’t get me wrong, but the more I focus on me, the easier it gets, I give myself another two weeks tops to have it completely out of my system, and onto new beutiful women. Isn’t life great, that you can always start over. Oh yea I heard a great quote recently “Success is the best revenge”. Live by that quote my friends..All the Best
October 11th, 2009 at 2:27 am
Just a few words from the woman’s side. I had been dating a man who supposedly loved me, just last week we were looking at engagement rings. Four days later, he became extremely mad at me because I did not stay on the phone long enough, from his perspective, to listen to his problems at work. He works in a hospital and has excessive drama that he needs to draw me into on a daily basis. In a sense, I’m his target as he tells his stories of how poorly people at work treat him.. it is as if I’m taking the brunt for these people he works with. After hearing his drama stories, what he did to get them all back, how he “won the battle”, he wonders why I don’t want to hear about it any longer. I’m a single parent, work full time too, run a household and a business. Many times single women have more responsibilities than single men, but the men don’t realize all we do.. we cook, clean, work, take care of our families, keep our homes and gardens beautiful, pay all of our bills, fix our own cars.. .. but the men never seem to be satisfied with whatever we try to do to make THEM happy. So they yell at us, break up with us, then miss us and want us back after all the drama and pain. They beg to come back to us because they miss all the good we shared with them, our love, our warmth of our homes, our family, our fun, our affection.. and many other things, but NOTHING we do is good enough.
We can be pretty, have gorgeous bodies, make great money, be independent, great cooks, exercise.. we have it all.. but it is NEVER enough for the men.
November 9th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
wow ..its like u read my mind..this is very useful..thanks for this article..its a fresh breath of air…my ex girlfriend..well suposably she was confused about us..and didnt even talk to me about it..and just automatically called it off..due to her confusion…well that was 6 months ago..and i still love her so muc…but i dont know if she feels the same way..and im trying my hardes to get over it..but its hard when when i see her at parties or anywhere..she wont take her eyes off of me..so its just complicates things..and she always ignores me too..so anyways..this is a very good article..and im taking it in count..thanks..
November 20th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I am a single mom of two. I had a bf 4 years ago (before my kids dad)that I loved so so much and I am pretty sure he did the same too. We are about to get married but because it was a long distance relationship we didn’t work. I did a big mistake just because of being immature. Just because of a very little misunderstanding i went out with a friend (now my kids’ dad) telling him all my heartaches and how I miss my BF. We can’t deny the fact that women are emotional and to make the story short I got pregnant after our few dates.I hide it from my BF but later I told him the truth. We didn’t break up I just vanished. So I thought that was the end between me and my BF and a start between me and my kids’ dad.But it’s not, our memories keep haunting me. My partner and I also had some fights most of the time. I wanted to get out of that mess even before but because I love my kids so much I can’t. I even tried to track down his facebook account. We have chatted which was out of my partner’s knowledge and found out that after me he never had another girlfriend. He was asking about my me and I lied to him again.. I told him that we broke up even if we’re not yet. So now he said he wants me back and willing to accept my kid. Yes, he was thinking that I only have one kid and that we didn’t live together that long and I don’t have the courage to tell him the truth coz I already lied to him the second time. I really can’t deny to myself that maybe I was keep on lying to him coz I dont wanna loose him. I know its a big mistake and thats why I am trying to figure out things seriously before I make a decision. I wanna sacrifice for my kids but it seems me and my partner won’t work anymore also….I decided to leave their dad coz I wanna find myself.. ofcourse my kids are with me…
So if you can advice me what to do then I would be glad to hear from you guys.. Thanks
November 29th, 2009 at 5:30 am
exactly how i feel,
December 12th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Thanks for the article and the comments here, it all helps. I split up with my girlfriend of three and a half years a few weeks ago, it wasn’t the first time but each time we got back together I felt the same confusion - like we understood each other’s souls, but our persons didn’t connect too well - love for each other, but not really clicking for me. I guess she felt like a soul mate, but not someone I could marry. Yet we became so close.
I can identify with each one of the points above.
All I can do is pray for her but not contact her as it just makes things worse. I know that it was the right decision but it doesn’t make it any easier to bear, when two people have been that caring and intimate.
January 2nd, 2010 at 10:27 pm
I was in this horrible state for 6 months [honestly, no joke].It was complete and utter hell. Even though I probably, on some level, seemed fine to everyone else, there would always be certain moments when people would start to wonder if there was something on my mind that was bothering me. These were the only signs to others, hinting that deep down inside there WAS something bothering me: the heartache.
Still, around the beginning of the 6th month [end of december], at the exact moment that the clocks counted down to the new year [2010], the emotional painy feeling in my stomach started to [rapidly] suddenly go, as if some great burden was being lifted, and as i heard “happy new year!” all around me, i felt that i had finally be cured of my heartache because, subconciously, i had created the idea in my mind that what had happened was now TRAPPED in the past, and that therefore there was no way that my previous feelings of sorrow could ever return.
=)
January 29th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
The worst thing about my situation is how it was all my fault, and I finally realised this just three days too late! I split up with my girlfiend nearly 2 weeks ago, but the reality has only just hit and its horrible!!
She changed during the relationship and the last 2 months (we were together for 10months) were bad - I was less attracted and she sensed that. I thought I wanted out, and I let us break up. A few days later we slept together and all of the next few days she told me she really really wanted to get back together. But I only realised I wanted it when I heard about her going on a date, and when I went over, I poured my heart out only to hear her say she was now completely over it. I just want her back!!! The pain is awful
February 16th, 2010 at 2:47 am
I was engaged to a man for 4 years. I moved half way across the US to be with him. I left behind my home, my friends, and even gave up time with my kids for him. I thought he was the one for me. And then he just came to me and told me he don’t feel like I am the right one for him. Then I found out he’s been talking to this girl and I am just devastated. I don;t know what I did wrong
I cook and keep a clean home for him, I gave all the sex he could want, and I even got a job to help with bills. I am a good catch and I don;t understand why he doesn’t want me no more. He just said that he needs to see what else (or who else I bet) is out there, and he is sending me away. I am so hurt and confused. I can’t eat, i can barely sleep, I barely exist. I loved him so much. He was my whole world outside of my kids who adore him and loved him and they are also so shattered by this. They cried and cried. I love this man so much I just don;t know what I did wrong 
Sometimes I want to just go into a coma and never come out of it. How can I ever trust another man again? 