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6 Signs You’re Finally Over Your Ex Girlfriend

By Dr. George Karanastasis

6 Signs Your Over Your ExBreakups have a way of taking your world and turning it upside-down. At first the pain is unbearable, the emotions overwhelming… and it seems as if nothing can make things right.

But time heals all wounds - and breakups are no exceptions to this. And while the process is gradual, you don’t realize that you’re slowly getting better until the worst has come to pass… as if someone flipped a switch and made the pain go away.

It’s at this point that you take notice to the fact you’ve made great headway in getting over your ex girlfriend - and here are 6 specific signs that validate this conclusion…

Sign #1: You’re no longer checking your voicemail 30 times a day in hopes that she called…

Every message you receive makes your heart beat a little faster when you’re going through a breakup. You’re hoping (even praying) that it’s her… that she was thinking of you and called to see how you’re doing.

You find yourself stuck in a destructive pattern of repeatedly checking your messages/Emails for some “proof of life”. And when you come up empty handed it deals a serious blow to your already fragile state.

Eventually, however, you not only stop waiting for her to call… you also stop caring that she doesn’t… And when you have a new voicemail (or Email), you’re not rushing to see who it’s from…

Sign #2: You go through the entire day without thinking of her…

At first, she constantly held the center stage in your thoughts. It seemed like everywhere you went, everything you talked about, and everything you saw reminded you of your ex girlfriend.

But this slowly started to fade until one night you realized that the whole day has passed without her entering your thoughts. A true sign of better days to come…

Sign #3: You stop “connecting” with the words of every sad song you happen to hear…

Isn’t odd how freakishly “spot on” the lyrics of a sad song are in depicting your situation when you’re going through a breakup? It’s as if the singer wrote the words down just for you.

And this causes you to play these sad songs over and over and over (personally, I spun the hell out of my Goo Goo Dolls CDs when dealing with my own relationship mishaps).

But this too comes to pass as you start substituting cheery beats for cheese love songs in your iPod shuffle. Then the day comes when you’re no longer convinced that every sad song was written with you in mind…

Sign #4: Your appetite comes back with a vengeance…

When the girl goes she usually takes your appetite with her… Everything seems “hard to swallow” when you’re feeling lovesick and food is no exception… In fact, a breakup can be quite the miracle diet for shedding those few extra pounds you’ve put on throughout your relationship.

However, sooner than later your appetite bounces back and you find a whole new taste for the foods you once enjoyed (plus your mom’s no longer worried that you might starve yourself to death).

And once your internal physiology has regained its balance - you proceed to take care of your external appearance…

Sign #5: Looking your best is no longer a burden…

Right after a breakup (and in the weeks that pass) rolling out of bed in the morning is hard enough in itself… let alone looking good. Your external appearance closely mirrors what you’re feeling within: distraught and disheveled.

But as the days roll on you start taking pride in the way you look and dressing your best is no longer an afterthought… it’s a priority… You’re finally starting to feel good about yourself, inside AND out.

And finally…

Sign #6: You start (really) taking notice of the opposite sex…

It seems as if every girl you come across when you’re in the midst of a breakup is in some way “inferior” to your ex (even if she’s strikingly more attractive and fun to be with). You just can’t seem to “connect” with her as you did with your girlfriend.

And then one day, she walks in… and it is at this moment that you realize that there really are other fish in the sea… even some that you’d like to get to know better… heck, even on a long-term basis.

When this happens you absolutely know that the worst is behind you and you can safely say that you’re finally over your ex girlfriend. Ironically, it’s at this point that your chances of getting her back are the best. In fact, don’t be too surprised if she decides to call you during these days.

It’s kind of funny how things tend to work out… Actually, it’s rather cruel - but so is life my friend…

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Topics: How To Get Over Her |


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54 Responses to “6 Signs You’re Finally Over Your Ex Girlfriend”

  1. drew Says:
    November 19th, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    exactly how i feel right now, awful

  2. michel angel Says:
    December 30th, 2008 at 6:53 am

    hey it is a great article and every step described here is the same i went through when i broke up some day with my girlfriend thanks you very much

  3. Englishman in New York Says:
    January 8th, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    I split with my GF after 2 years (1 year long term and I’ve lived with her for a year). Although I loved her, we clicked, never argued and got on amazingly I knew that she wasnt the one.

    It’s been a week, i can’t eat, have lost 12 lbs but to counter that I have vowed not to drink alcohol for at least a month, i’m getting in touch with my spiritual side (not a particular religion), going to the gym, not eating crap.

    Trust me, women think that they are the only ones that have emotions, feelings.. they are not. As bad as you may feel, there needs to be synchronicity between the 2 partners. Desperate measures to resolve a relationship WON’T help.

    Good luck & stay srong… and talk and reach out to those that you are close to. DON’T HIT THE BOTTLE!!

  4. Ajmal Says:
    February 20th, 2009 at 12:33 am

    wow… that was amazingly true. I have been in an on and off relationship for about 5 years. I was mainly the issue because I would say something really mean but not intentionally. Anyways all that above seems so true. I am very skeptical on the book though… “how to get her back for good” I tried searching for it at Barnes and noble and other sites online but can’t seem to find it. Do the methods in the book really work?

  5. Diana Ha. Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Dont worry about it drew. I bet you’ve gotten over her already.

  6. Richard Says:
    March 26th, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    I want to give one HUGE piece of advice I wish I’d had before my huge break up 3 years ago…if you are REALLY hurting, and I mean REALLY, GO SEE A THERAPIST!

    I had never experienced an ounce of depression until a huge break up a few years ago…I’ve gotten over the girl but not the depression. I don’t know if I’ll ever recover because I may have waited too long to get help. If it goes untreated for too long it can develop into a long term depression.

    Getting over the girl may take a long time but it will happen, but getting over the depression might be harder.

  7. spirit horse Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 8:39 am

    I was dumped 3 months ago, our agreement was to spend some time apart and regain our spirituality. But she changed her story after I left, she said it’s over, really hit me hard, even knew she was talking to another man, and getting into him more the days before I left. I have feelings and belief of being stronger now spiritually. Although I am not over her yet, I still do pray she’d rethink how strong our love was, she is really is going through problems and just moved out to another state blindly, she ignores all my attempts to help her and reach, but I’m doing what we agreed on, back on my feet spiritually and stronger, and have faith, which helps me get through everyday.

  8. James s Says:
    July 3rd, 2009 at 9:55 am

    i dated my ex for 2 years…she was my first true love and my first girlfriend…she was the one that wanted to get with me really bad and she was really in love with me but i wasnt really at first but i asked her out and after a while i fell in love with her also…we argued alot but we had our fun times too there was times that we felt like true soulmates and times that i almost hated her but she broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and i have gone throught the majority of the stages and now i just really feel empty and depressed. its not that i wanna get back with her because i dont but i feel like im not going to ever love again as much as i loved her and im too scared to even think about that long term relationsihp. its been the most confusing week of my life and sometimes i question life of how it can be so cruel but i guess everything happens for a reason and we have to live with it

  9. WJ Says:
    July 9th, 2009 at 9:52 am

    Hang in there guys!!! I was hit hard when we broke up! I even found out she was hooking up with her abusive ex boyfriend… Just remember you are better than her!!!

    I am finally at this point!

    I no longer feel as hurt

    HANG IN THERE!

  10. Mike-P Says:
    August 4th, 2009 at 10:52 pm

    Guys, you shouldn’t settle, and trying to win someone back who left you for another dude, that’s settling. The right girl won’t play you like that. Let’s face the facts, most women are crazy, a lot of them want to play the “grass is greener” game. Best advice is move on, find things to occupy your time, and when you catch yourself thinking about her, change the subject, change the channel. A loving relationship should be a 50/50 deal.

    I was with a girl for one year, we moved in together. Things were shakey from the start, we broke up, she ended up coming back to me, we moved in together, and it all fell apart from there. Why? Because, there were reasons why we broke up the first time, reasons that were valid. When someone is not that into you, why would you want to hold on to them? To make a long story short, I made the decision to break up and move out. I packed my stuff, and left. And though I tried to hold onto the relationship, and win her back, I realized there was a valid reason as to why I left her. There are too many fish in the seas my brothers. If she aint right, take flight!

  11. JackOfNoTrades Says:
    August 6th, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    Wow…thank you so much for this article, I can relate to every point. Despite my confusing screen ID (and no, his name is not Jack), I am a woman and my boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago. At the time of the split, he told me that he still loved me but his reason for the breakup was because he didn’t plan to come back to L.A. (I live in L.A., I met him here, but he lives abroad now) and also that we differ hugely when it comes to religion - I am Christian, he is an atheist.

    I haven’t contacted him for over 5 months now - no texts, emails, calls or even facebook messages - but I can say with certainty that I have struggled with this. Not a single day has passed that I haven’t thought of contacting him in some way. I know it is best that we are not together, but something continues to cling onto him.

    I would say that I am about 99.5% over him, however that pesky .5% refuses to leave! I am slowly starting to date again, but in a way I feel guilty for seeing other guys. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.

    Anywho..I could go on. I just wanted to say thank you Dr. George and thanks to the commenters. It’s nice to know others are trudging along, feeling like I do right now.

  12. james Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Look, I have been through 3 major breakups in my day. I broke up with all three because they weren’t right. I recently just got broken up with by my ex whom I thought we were going to get married. But her career would keep her traveling and I was having difficulties with it. You see she is in the fashion world, and what i thought could deal with, in the end I was only being supportive for her and not true to myself. I didn’t want my future wife out to parties or promotions till 4am or have to travel to another country for a month or two. We ended up breaking up, and I was devistated. It’s been about a month, and she is out of the country right now, and I would shoot her an email now and then, but no response. We were inseperable, attached at the hip, and I didn’t even get one drunk dial. so I went through the motions, and man were there motions. I couldnt sleep, eat, work was suffering. But about a week ago I went on vacation with some real good friends, and had alot of time to think and put things in perspective. Nobody would walk away like that if they were trully in love with you, bottom line, because you love that person that much that you couldn’t be so cold. It was at that point that I began my true recovery. I joined martial arts, hiting the gym hard, got a one bedroom right by the beach, and you know what my work is getting better than ever. Don’t get me wrong I went through hell, I was real sad, but once I really made a concious effort to make this breakup my bitch, things started falling into place. So you guys need to do what I did, and take like a man at some point, realize that the realtionship was a great experience, and now get ready to take on the world. I still have my moments don’t get me wrong, but the more I focus on me, the easier it gets, I give myself another two weeks tops to have it completely out of my system, and onto new beutiful women. Isn’t life great, that you can always start over. Oh yea I heard a great quote recently “Success is the best revenge”. Live by that quote my friends..All the Best

  13. Laurie Says:
    October 11th, 2009 at 2:27 am

    Just a few words from the woman’s side. I had been dating a man who supposedly loved me, just last week we were looking at engagement rings. Four days later, he became extremely mad at me because I did not stay on the phone long enough, from his perspective, to listen to his problems at work. He works in a hospital and has excessive drama that he needs to draw me into on a daily basis. In a sense, I’m his target as he tells his stories of how poorly people at work treat him.. it is as if I’m taking the brunt for these people he works with. After hearing his drama stories, what he did to get them all back, how he “won the battle”, he wonders why I don’t want to hear about it any longer. I’m a single parent, work full time too, run a household and a business. Many times single women have more responsibilities than single men, but the men don’t realize all we do.. we cook, clean, work, take care of our families, keep our homes and gardens beautiful, pay all of our bills, fix our own cars.. .. but the men never seem to be satisfied with whatever we try to do to make THEM happy. So they yell at us, break up with us, then miss us and want us back after all the drama and pain. They beg to come back to us because they miss all the good we shared with them, our love, our warmth of our homes, our family, our fun, our affection.. and many other things, but NOTHING we do is good enough.
    We can be pretty, have gorgeous bodies, make great money, be independent, great cooks, exercise.. we have it all.. but it is NEVER enough for the men.

  14. Fender Guitarist Says:
    November 9th, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    wow ..its like u read my mind..this is very useful..thanks for this article..its a fresh breath of air…my ex girlfriend..well suposably she was confused about us..and didnt even talk to me about it..and just automatically called it off..due to her confusion…well that was 6 months ago..and i still love her so muc…but i dont know if she feels the same way..and im trying my hardes to get over it..but its hard when when i see her at parties or anywhere..she wont take her eyes off of me..so its just complicates things..and she always ignores me too..so anyways..this is a very good article..and im taking it in count..thanks..

  15. iwantedyoutoask Says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    I am a single mom of two. I had a bf 4 years ago (before my kids dad)that I loved so so much and I am pretty sure he did the same too. We are about to get married but because it was a long distance relationship we didn’t work. I did a big mistake just because of being immature. Just because of a very little misunderstanding i went out with a friend (now my kids’ dad) telling him all my heartaches and how I miss my BF. We can’t deny the fact that women are emotional and to make the story short I got pregnant after our few dates.I hide it from my BF but later I told him the truth. We didn’t break up I just vanished. So I thought that was the end between me and my BF and a start between me and my kids’ dad.But it’s not, our memories keep haunting me. My partner and I also had some fights most of the time. I wanted to get out of that mess even before but because I love my kids so much I can’t. I even tried to track down his facebook account. We have chatted which was out of my partner’s knowledge and found out that after me he never had another girlfriend. He was asking about my me and I lied to him again.. I told him that we broke up even if we’re not yet. So now he said he wants me back and willing to accept my kid. Yes, he was thinking that I only have one kid and that we didn’t live together that long and I don’t have the courage to tell him the truth coz I already lied to him the second time. I really can’t deny to myself that maybe I was keep on lying to him coz I dont wanna loose him. I know its a big mistake and thats why I am trying to figure out things seriously before I make a decision. I wanna sacrifice for my kids but it seems me and my partner won’t work anymore also….I decided to leave their dad coz I wanna find myself.. ofcourse my kids are with me…

    So if you can advice me what to do then I would be glad to hear from you guys.. Thanks

  16. ervin Says:
    November 29th, 2009 at 5:30 am

    exactly how i feel,

  17. Matt Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    Thanks for the article and the comments here, it all helps. I split up with my girlfriend of three and a half years a few weeks ago, it wasn’t the first time but each time we got back together I felt the same confusion - like we understood each other’s souls, but our persons didn’t connect too well - love for each other, but not really clicking for me. I guess she felt like a soul mate, but not someone I could marry. Yet we became so close.

    I can identify with each one of the points above.
    All I can do is pray for her but not contact her as it just makes things worse. I know that it was the right decision but it doesn’t make it any easier to bear, when two people have been that caring and intimate.

  18. Phil Says:
    January 2nd, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    I was in this horrible state for 6 months [honestly, no joke].It was complete and utter hell. Even though I probably, on some level, seemed fine to everyone else, there would always be certain moments when people would start to wonder if there was something on my mind that was bothering me. These were the only signs to others, hinting that deep down inside there WAS something bothering me: the heartache.

    Still, around the beginning of the 6th month [end of december], at the exact moment that the clocks counted down to the new year [2010], the emotional painy feeling in my stomach started to [rapidly] suddenly go, as if some great burden was being lifted, and as i heard “happy new year!” all around me, i felt that i had finally be cured of my heartache because, subconciously, i had created the idea in my mind that what had happened was now TRAPPED in the past, and that therefore there was no way that my previous feelings of sorrow could ever return.

    =)

  19. Zafman Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    The worst thing about my situation is how it was all my fault, and I finally realised this just three days too late! I split up with my girlfiend nearly 2 weeks ago, but the reality has only just hit and its horrible!!

    She changed during the relationship and the last 2 months (we were together for 10months) were bad - I was less attracted and she sensed that. I thought I wanted out, and I let us break up. A few days later we slept together and all of the next few days she told me she really really wanted to get back together. But I only realised I wanted it when I heard about her going on a date, and when I went over, I poured my heart out only to hear her say she was now completely over it. I just want her back!!! The pain is awful

  20. Shelli Rhea Says:
    February 16th, 2010 at 2:47 am

    I was engaged to a man for 4 years. I moved half way across the US to be with him. I left behind my home, my friends, and even gave up time with my kids for him. I thought he was the one for me. And then he just came to me and told me he don’t feel like I am the right one for him. Then I found out he’s been talking to this girl and I am just devastated. I don;t know what I did wrong :( I cook and keep a clean home for him, I gave all the sex he could want, and I even got a job to help with bills. I am a good catch and I don;t understand why he doesn’t want me no more. He just said that he needs to see what else (or who else I bet) is out there, and he is sending me away. I am so hurt and confused. I can’t eat, i can barely sleep, I barely exist. I loved him so much. He was my whole world outside of my kids who adore him and loved him and they are also so shattered by this. They cried and cried. I love this man so much I just don;t know what I did wrong :( Sometimes I want to just go into a coma and never come out of it. How can I ever trust another man again? :(

  21. Allie Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    I guess this is more for grown-ups going through serious relationships, but I’m in high school and was with my boyfriend for a year. I finally got over my ex after a few months of crying over it… and it feels amazing. I was dating my boyfriend on/off for a year… and his family was so rude to me and clearly didn’t like me, and unfortuneately, he’s a “mama’s boy” and does whatever his mom says and we broke up. I went through months of utter hell because I missed him so much. I thought I’d never get over him, because he just seemed perfect! He was sweet, loving, always complimented me, and we had so much fun together. But I was talking to him the other day, and he’s changed completely. He’s gotten conceited, and all he talks about now is weed (yuck) and how popular he is with all these girls at his new school. It really turned me off, and when I found out yesterday that he has a new girlfriend, it didn’t bother me at all. Normally I would’ve started sobbing, but instead, I just laughed it off. I don’t check his facebook obsessively anymore (in fact I don’t look at it all)… yes I know I sound like a creeper. But who doesn’t get a little obsessive when they’re heartbroken? Heart breaks bring out the worst in us. His new pictures showed up on my homepage and he doesn’t even look cute anymore. His new crappy personality has made him ugly.

    So my advice to anyone going through a break up: time will heal your pain. I know it sounds tacky and I know it’s hard to believe (I didn’t believe it myself) but TRUST ME IT GETS BETTER! It’s useless to waste time on one crappy person when there’s so many better people out there. Thanks for writing this article and thanks everyone for commenting. It’s helped a lot.

  22. j.j. Says:
    May 28th, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    me and my girlfriend we got to together for 3 moths in middle sckool and i was in 6th and she was in 7th then we break 2 and i got her back with me 2 so she broke up with me and now she has a boyfriend and i have a girlfriend but im worry about my ex sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much she break my heart in to peaices and all that she hate me and i dont hate her so thats my story i hope u reading this lucy so thats all god bless you people

  23. JB Says:
    June 9th, 2010 at 11:02 am

    Good article!

    I read this because it’s has been months and I’m still not over my ex. We were in a long distance relationship for about 1.5 yrs and I’m finding it very difficult to get over it because my mind keep toying with me. I try and go out and talk to girls but I don’t feel the same anymore, like there’s no drive in me because I don’t want another girl.
    In a way I know what I have to do but it keeps cycling around where I’m feeling good and on a path to properly getting over it but then I start thinking about her and what happened and then think that she doesn’t care and has moved on.
    I want to send her things back because I want to see what she will do but at the same time I don’t because I don’t want to let them go…… Which Ive just now realized why I can’t get over it…. Because I won’t let go!!!

    Btw Shelli Rhea I really feel for you! Hope ur doin well xx

  24. InTransitionAgain Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 4:27 am

    Commentto Laurie Oct 11th 2009. YOu wrote “Many times single women have more responsibilities than single men, but the men don’t realize all we do.. we cook, clean, work, take care of our families, keep our homes and gardens beautiful, pay all of our bills, fix our own cars.. .. but the men never seem to be satisfied with whatever we try to do to make THEM happy. So they yell at us, break up with us, then miss us and want us back after all the drama and pain. They beg to come back to us because they miss all the good we shared with them, our love, our warmth of our homes, our family, our fun, our affection.. and many other things, but NOTHING we do is good enough.
    We can be pretty, have gorgeous bodies, make great money, be independent, great cooks, exercise.. we have it all.. but it is NEVER enough for the men.”
    Just to give you a perspective as a forty something guy who’s open to settling down, pretty is nice, gorgeous bodies are good, money is fine, being independent is a mixed thing - being willing to be interdependent is important, great cooks is nice but so is going out for dinner, exercise is good self-care and helps you look hot. I’m sure these are initially the things that seem most important. i recommend a book called His Needs and Her Needs.
    Anyway, for me what it came down to was respectful - she respects my past decisions, opinions, values, activities, beliefs, feelings, fears, everything. She is gentle and time-sensitive about raising big issues and lets the little ones slide after telling me a couple of times. She encourages and supports what’s important to me. She doesn’t always agree, but frames that disagreement as another perspective rather than how she’s right and how wrong she is.
    She wants to spend time with me doing stuff we enjoy, both at home and going out, sometimes her stuff sometimes mine. And that’s just a start. Compassion, gentleness, cooperation, sounds basic but most of us have not seen role models, have not been taught - try to find a real respectful relationship on tv - one where the couples could actually get away with saying and doing what they do - I’d guess they’d be fighting of days, not kissing up in 20 minutes. I ramble…

  25. InTransitionAgain Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 4:29 am

    Oh,just need to add one trait that I hope for: nice. nice and respectful even if angry and yelling, does not say cruel things and is not physcially violent. Look to my other post on emotional abuse.

  26. InTransitionAgain Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 4:32 am

    Allie B , Apr 13. Something to consider: why do you stay on Facebook with someone who is truly an ex?

  27. InTransitionAgain Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 4:38 am

    IWantedYouToAsk Nov 13 2009
    Go slow, be careful, trust your gut, protect your kids. Watch for inconsistencies, strange coincidences, and your gut feeling. You are in a vulnerable spot, and probably not a great time to get into any kind of relationship with anyone for several months. A book called Calling in the One might be helpful in terms of helping yourself grow - it also has be be read critically like everything else.

  28. InTransitionAgain Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 4:43 am

    Reply to : # Zafman Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    A couple of thoughts that I’m always cautious about is emotional abuse either way or both, between straight or gay partners. There’s a website www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/ that I recommend.

    Also, it’s handy to know about what’s happening chemically. Try: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t80308/ A relationship can be an addiction, and you suffer from physiological withdrawal.

  29. InTransitionAgain Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 4:58 am

    Reply to: # Shelli Rhea Says:
    February 16th, 2010 at 2:47 am

    There are men, perhaps lots of them, who will say and do enough to get what they want, and then somehow change their minds. It’s not what they thought, they want more, different, blah blah. By this time it is too late. Convincing is not going to work. Prevention is key - maybe I could set up a business being the boyfriend detector. LOL.

    So a few things you said that are interesting and in my opinion:
    1. You didn’t do anything wrong to deserve betrayal. No one deserves or earns to be badly mistreated. It’s worth googling relationship breakup advice and reading a whole bunch of the sites.
    2. You are a good catch - if you really understand what you have to offer, understand what kind of men will appreciate what you have to offer, and even then maybe not the right catch fo those men.
    3. You have a lot of feelings and so do the kids, and that’s okay. You will get throught to the other, clearer side, so just take the time to feel, think, and take care of yourself. I find journalling helps with an emphasis on positive things in the present and future. And emotion pages, where you just write and write until you have nothing to say about anger, or sorrow, or guilt, or fear, or…pick one for a day and don’t overdo it, and then destroy it and mentally release it if you have to.
    4. A couple of thoughts that I’m always cautious about is emotional abuse either way or both, between straight or gay partners. There’s a website www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/ that I recommend - it’s focussed on men but the same should be valid.
    5. How will you learn to trust men? I would take a break. Work on yourself, read aboud breakups and recovery - the book Rebuilding by Fisher is a classic. Think about the kind of person you are in all your other relationships with friends and family and work on those. Spend time with men who you’re not extremely attracted to, just to get some company and perspective. Figure out if you like someone because they like you. Etc.
    Good luck

  30. InTransitionAgain Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 5:07 am

    Reply to: # j.j. Says:
    May 28th, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    1. How respectful are you being to your current girlfriend if you are so into your ex?
    2. Some people learn that they can love and care deeply for someon and still not be able to be together. Others have to hate or at least say they hat before they can separate.
    3. You’re young. Many teens (and people of every age) just do whatever they want and don’t have much understanding or care for their effects on other people.
    4. If you really love her and respect her and she’s not sending you mixed messages (and especially if she has another boyfriend and you have a girlfriend), then let her go in as many ways as you can, especially how you look at her and interact with her, and work on doing things you like and are good at, and treating your new girlfriend with as much respect and care as you can, and who knows, you might become irresistible to her again if you both find yourselves single.

  31. Deborah Says:
    June 29th, 2010 at 7:08 am

    Thanks, I’m not going crazy after all, just going through heartbreak. I’ve flipped between all the stages of grief so many times I wondered if I’d ever get my head back on. 3 months since Mr Amazing left me for a jealous ex from 5 years ago. Never saw that coming! It has taken this long to go from desperately wanting him back (thank God I was too proud to try) to seeing him for who really was, a dodgy boyfriend who didn’t hesitate to cheat or smash my feelings. Mr Amazing was really Mr Lame, wearing a Mr Amazing t-shirt. I no longer listen to sad songs, I change the station or sing them out loud in the mirror & see how silly I look, laugh so much I snap out of it. Helps to laugh at yourself intead of blaming yourself or them. Treat it like you just had an accident, like your heart tripped over the coffee table in the dark after too many margeritas, just a beautiful crappy mistake. Pick your heart up, give it a rinse & put it back where it belongs, perfect and open for more love. Then you can doll yourself up,get out & have the great life you had before you met them, and it wont take as long as you think….it never does if you recall. I still cry sometimes when I think of him but it’s just out of habit now and not really sadness, this is passing too, along with the video replay in my head. Can’t wait till I get all of me back - it’s coming back very quickly now :) PS I remembered today that I am Miss Amazing and have no need to wear the t-shirt, feels good :)

  32. Matt Says:
    August 4th, 2010 at 10:45 am

    wow this is true to every single word! and all the comments were amazing ive recently broke up wit my girlfriend of 2 years i got engaged to her thats what hurt the most having the ring put back in my hand. i sighed and swallowed hard so she didnt see the tears forming but when she had gone i put on a really fast, hard, heavy hitiing rock song and just punched the hell out of my wall till the was a hole (it was plasterboard wall to and old airing cupboard) yeah i smashed my hand bad but it didnt hurt as much as the breakup so i hit the bottle and the pain left or so i thought till the next morning wish i hadnt. but now its all different im a different person ive noticed i dont give a shit about anything im just an angry person can anybody help with it?? the pain has gone and i feel stronger than ever its weird how life works and how you dont realise you much you love something/someone till its gone

  33. KSK Says:
    September 6th, 2010 at 3:04 am

    BEEN ALMOST A YEAR SINCE MY HUSBAND ADMITTED TO HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY BEST FRIEND. I WAS BEYOND CRUSHED. BETRAYED BY TWO PEOPLE I TRUSTED MOST. I AM STILL STRUGGLING WITH THIS. THE HATE THE EMBARRASSMENT THE RESENTMENT. HE THREW AWAY OUR FAMILY FOR WHAT? HE NEVER WENT TO HER BUT TO SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE WE WERE EVEN DIVORCED. so… WHY DO I CARE FOR SOMEONE WHO SO VERY OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT CARE FOR ME

  34. andrew Says:
    February 8th, 2011 at 4:56 am

    one thing that never was said… what about bouncing pains? depresion that fades in and out? i was with this girl 2 years ago and had been dating her for two years at the time. i thought i truly loved her. we fought alot after the first year but every time i felt as if we got closer and our lives together made progress. she was and still is my next door nabor. i see her house, her car and her life every day. she works just down the street from my work and i thought id never get over her. she broke up with me, on my birthday. and a few months after she broke up with me i found out she was pregnet. at first i wished it was my kid. in hopes to still have something with her. only to find out she had been cheating on me and it was not mine. after a year of being single iv been on 3 dates… never the same girl, never lasting past the date ( in other words no sex or strings just a date) and i never felt right. then i started feeling better started eatting again and could go the whole day with out thinking about her for weeks at a time… now this is where i need help, 3 months ago that all changed, i was at work, and a song came on that id lissened to many times this week with no problem. and i just snapped. outa no where i ripped the radio off the wall unpluged it and started to breakdown in the middle of my shift. ever since that day iv been drinking heavly and thinking about her everyday. thats why i was looking at this site. im not sure what to do, its been two years, and i dont want to feel like this anymore. btw iv lost 68 lbs since we broke up, and thats no joke. i still dont wana get outa bed in the morning. any advice comment back thanks

  35. shelli rhea Says:
    February 12th, 2011 at 6:38 am

    One year later…

    About a year ago I visited this forum and cried my heart out over being left by my fiance.
    interestingly enough, that post lead me to make some really good friends who really helped me through all that.

    I would like to share with you what has happened in that year if I may.

    After we broke up, I moved back to my home state, and found myself living in what was probably one of the most depressing little shacks I have ever seen.
    It was in that sad little house that I found my life and my salvation.
    After staring at the same sad for walls for weeks on end, and feeling sorry for myself, I finally could not take it anymore, so I started to slowly decorate it. every week i would add something new.
    a new nick-knack, a new picture on the wall, just something to make it look a little more homey.
    And you know what? After a few months, that sad little shack actually felt like home.

    During the rest of the time, I was growing and learning more about myself, and also was learning new trade skills from one of the most AMAZING women I have ever met.

    She taught me how to be an online business manager, laughed with me, worked with me, listened to me, ranted with me.
    But most importantly she gave me something I never had before: confidence in myself.
    (Thanks Jamie!)

    And you know what happened? The fiance that left me broken-hearted and confused.. remember that guy?
    While I was growing up, so was he.
    He too was changing and growing. But most importantly he noticed the changes in ME.

    I had become a confident woman with a job I was good at, and a new found sense of freedom.
    And you know what happened?
    He wanted me back!

    We have been back together now for 6 months, and even though we still have our occasional little disagreements, we are happy together.
    Bust most importantly, even if he ever leaves me again, next time I know I can make it without him. Truly, genuinely make it without him.
    And that feels great!

    I guess my point to this wall of text is this: Believe in yourself and good things WILL start to happen!

    As much as you may want to die when a break up
    happens, trust me when I say, you CAN endure, you CAN survive, and you WILL walk away stronger than you ever imagined.

  36. robthefirefly Says:
    March 22nd, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    oh my God! i was just checking the net to make sure i was good to go and had my suspicions confirmed. i think i really am over her now! no songs, no movies,no more hoping for emails or phone calls, no crying, eating like a son of bitch again, and most important of all…. the all ladies are looking good again! i am giddy. i never thought this would happen so soon. i expected to be in a funk for another year at least (broke up 6 months ago). the time apart has given me the ability to step back and with complete clarity, see that i was the biggest pussy ever. i cant believe i put up with that histrionic borderline bs for over 3 years! i dont hate her but i certainly can see where being apart from her has made me realize that not chasing her was the best decision of my life. believe me, i wanted to. i wanted her back real bad.
    like my ex wife, i really do hope she finds her guy.
    what sucks is that i really did love her two kiddos. i miss them. they are great.
    i am just glad i can breathe again. so many NICE women out there. i cant believe i subjected myself to all the things i did just because she was a knock out…the thing is, there are a ton of knock outs everywhere!!! and they like fat guys like me!!!!
    i dont even know what prompted me to write this…probably because i had to let her know that i was sending her some cash but could care less what she thought and then “voila” it hit me… i dont care anymore. i dont care what she thinks. not sad. not hurt. not anything… i just dont care!!!!

    stay with it guys. it passes. trust me. i really loved this one and thought it would never pass but it does. in truth, i still love her but now i just dont care. : )

  37. robthefirefly Says:
    March 22nd, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    @jackofnotrades

    it gets better. trust me. i struggled everyday in someway just like you. it sounds like you went “no contact” which is good for you.

    my ex went NC on me which probably helped me out more because i took it as a sign of total disrespect and an in your face smack down of someone your are suppose to have loved. it just clicked. i was an idiot and completely insane to think she would change or truly love me and the signs were there the whole time.

    i am sure in the future i may regress because love is love and love never quits. i got over the hump now and i feel great. the only for me to completely (what you call your .5%) erase her is to be with someone awesome. there are a lot of awesome people out there.

  38. I'M A GIRL! Says:
    April 4th, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    When I broke up with my girlfriend of three years, I had to see a therapist. So if you feel really sad and depressed, go see a therapist. I mean really though, not just oh yeah I feel horrible. If you leave depression untreated it can turn into a long term depression that may never fully go away.
    It doesn’t matter if you’re a girl or a guy, these can realte to anybody suffering a break up.I personally experienced all of these, even though I’m a girl (broke up with my girlfriend though… I’m a lesbian)
    If you’re having trouble eating or swallowing food try ice cream or other foods that do not require chewing. Try eating foods that you used to love eating, that taste delicious to you. I suggest food that do not require chewing (ice cream, jello, etc.) because you usually do not have to really swallow, they more or else melt in your mouth. Remember, eating yummy stuff is easier to swallow than yucky stuff…

  39. ashwin thomas Says:
    May 1st, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    i fucking dated a bloody whore who faked a relationship and cheated on me for over 3 years!! i just hope she rots in hell!!! the hard part is when i’m alone the good memories come back and its so hard to imagine i’m no more with her after spending one of the best days of my life with her for 3 bloody years and us being best of friends for couple of years before we even started dating

  40. Candicane Says:
    June 19th, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    i randomly foudn this article, and its so comforting to see yalls comments and see that im nto alone im not the only one that loved a man and talked about a life together just to find out he was talkign crap about me and ill never know why. he acted like he didnt care he hurt me or that i loved him and did everythign for him. he got all these trashy friends of his to facebook bully me and two of them this couple, tried to beat me up outside of a club here in town!! just bc of the lies he told them? it make sno sense cant wrap my brain aroudn it… but its ben 6 months now and i started googling advice bc i was cryign and upset. i think he is mental lol so i have been tryign to forgive him for hurting me more deepely than anythign ever has and i actually cant put it into words to express how much he has broken my heart. h elied, i dont knwo if he ever cheated but he turned everythign aroudn on me liek i did this i broke us up…umm ok… but anyway i am trying to heal and get passed all this. he started datign the first girl he found right after me, i havent dated anyone bc when we broke up we had deeply promised our love to eachother and i promised my faithfulness and body to him only and even though i kept my promises he broke all of his i feel. what an idiot, lol i just cant beleive nothing beneficial or important came out of why i met him and invested so much time/ 90 percent of the tim ehe was so playful and sweet and funny and hard working, the other 10 percent hed lie about day to day stuff for no reason really and hed pick me apart tryign to find somethign wrong and when he didnt, he made stuff up to get after me about??? wtf? i hope he eventually sits down for amoment and realizes what he lost in me and feels remorse for his actions. i try to be a good person and i treated him very very well and some people are just down right evil. but thats bc they dont love themselves. and i know he didnt love himself. Thank you so much for your comments and your stories, i am just shocked to see people have been in my exact situation. i hope everyoen finds peace and find themselves stronger than ever in not only your relationships in the future but in every area of your life :) this crap happened for a reason and i am going to make the best of it and work on myself.

  41. Cookie Says:
    July 20th, 2011 at 11:35 am

    It really hurts. It has been a few months but no contact helped and although I cannot go into therapy, joining a support group has helped me a lot.

    I recently broke no contact and within two days, although I tried my best to leave the past in the past, the disrespect happened again and we are back to not speaking to each other. He is re blocked from social networking sites.

    I was the one who broke up with my boyfriend. It took me 3 books, lots of research, and consulting with other people to figure out that there really is something wrong with him. All that time he made it like it was me.

    I loved him so much that even when he put his hand on my neck and slammed me down the bed.. and… many other things, I thought we could talk it over and he could be a proper human being. But even after I had broken up with him the emotional and verbal abuse did not stop. He dismisses and minimises everything he has done to me.

    Time and tears and the support of other people is what got me through this. Also staying away from vile or toxic people. If you have toxic family or friends, now is the time to cut them off.

    I am not over him, I think about it everyday, but I think dealing with the heartache is better than being with someone who just won’t stop being abusive.

    The sincerity and apology and empathy I’ve been waiting on will never happen. His brain is just built differently. I have a higher chance of winning the lottery.

    To this very day he believes that I am the one selfish. But that’s HIS problem. It is good to be free and to find myself again. The progress is slow and painful, though.

    I have got pets, good friends who have a concept of respect and boundaries, and I have to say that keeping a journal helps too.

    Time, tears, research, and the support of good people - and of course, expecting nothing from that person has truly helped. Well, expecting nothing but abuse and disrespect. As they say, you can’t be conned if you know the con.

    For the truly desperate who cannot afford therapy, I suggest hypnotherapy. You can listen to some files on your mp3 player on those darkest moments. At least you’ll hear a nice voice saying nice things.

  42. Geoff Preston Says:
    August 13th, 2011 at 5:24 am

    Just had an unpleasant experience last night at the Globe. Having not seen my only Ex for over a decade, I realised she was sitting virtually right next to me with her boyfriend. After this length of time this scenario was not an unlikely thing but I was on my own and quite down about the prospect of a relationship so this was something I did not need. I should have got over years ago but I did not and she has made a success of her life unlike myself. This will stop any lingering hopes of a reconciliation but if there’s any message from this- I must get a girlfriend and not be stuck in the past any longer.

  43. Ms. B Says:
    August 16th, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    My ex boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me in 2010 and my world came crashing. There was nothing else I could do to convience this man the love I had for him. It was over for reasons that were never clear, just a man who got “confused”.

    I had no choice but to pick my heart off the floor, dust it off, and safely kept it from anymore pain. 5 months later, got a new moving foward attitude, a new job, and met her a wonderful man from work that took my breath away. Was so in love, but knew I was still hurt from my ex, but this man was so amazing and respected me.

    8 months later, my world came crushing day by day as this “new man” in my life became emotionally abusive, spent less time with me, only wanted sex, never wanted to do anything for me anymore. I gave my heart again and got hurt by this man too. He knew what I went through in the past with my ex of 5 years, and threw me away just like my ex from the past. I was now stuck with two heartbreaks a year back to back and then find out this man breaks up with me, ignores me, acts like he doesn’t care, and then lesson learned: I worked with this man and not only that, a week later on my lunch break, i came at a intersection only to my ex out out to lunch with another co worker from another department in his car. The look on his fate as I passed him by looked as he got caught. The thought of him to be so sneaky when fate allowed me to see who he was was. A runaway low down piece of shit of a MAN! Yes buddy when I saw them two in his car out to lunch, my torn heart just turned into dust. I lost the passion of being in love again, I lost the passion to trust another man. I never ever want to get married anymore as I trust no man. I accepted my life as alone forever as I rather die knowing I loved myself too much to never let a another man f*ck me over from past experiences. My heart has turn to dust and its gone! No more love for me, and lesson learn to never date someone from work ever. It’s not worth it and only can screw your life over. I will never ever fall in love ever again.

  44. Ms. B Says:
    August 16th, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    Sorry for the mispellings as I was typing away on my iphone. I just want to say I gave this man my all, drove him all the way to border of TJ, Mexico since he missed his train at the train station as a female driving alone in the rain for this man. Gave this man all my heart and he did this to me too? F*ck my ex of 5 years and f*ck my newly ex.

  45. Anne Says:
    August 31st, 2011 at 3:58 am

    I’m finally getting over my ex…and he hasn’t even moved out yet! We’ve been in an abusive, addictive relationship for going on four years now. I didn’t think it would ever end (not in the dreamy, I love him and we’ll always be together way…more like I never thought I’d be free.) The saddest part of an addictive relationship is that you experience the pain and heartache of betrayal and breakups, but aren’t strong enough to let go. Even when he was straight up using me, which I was well aware of, I wasn’t able to let him go.
    He’s asleep next to me right now, and is moving out to his own apartmemt tomorrow. I don’t feel sad, anxious, and I’m not wondering when I’ll see him next. That’s how I know I’ve finally self actualized. I don’t need him, his abuse, his drama, his attention, nor his approval.
    I know that he will try to keep a connection between us. Before this when we would break up, I would hold on to that knowledge as a comfort. Even though he was a horrible boyfriend, him always coming back was something I needed and waited for. This time is different. I’m finally free!
    I guess my point is that if someone tells you that youre not good enough, even when you know you haven’t done anything but give them your best, then youre better off finding someone else - or being by yourself. Relationships are tricky, but so many of us settle for something that we know isn’t right, or someone that we aren’t compatible with simply because it’s easier than being alone with our own thoughts. But we’re really only shorting ourselves, and possibly missing an opportunity to be with someone that likes you exactly the way you are.
    The man child sleeping next to me will never give me what I need in a partner, because he will never appreciate who I am as a woman. I don’t regret going through these four hellish years with him, because I know it’s been these hellish years that have led me to love myself. I don’t need him to love me anymore, and that is an unbelievable feeling. The prison of pain that I’ve been locked in with him is undoubtedly the reason for my freedom today.

  46. Kelly Says:
    November 12th, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    Please gents, there are number of songs by linkin park that will help. My favorite is iridescent from their Album a thousand suns.

    I loved her dearly. It destroyed me when we broke. I’ll love her for the rest of my life, but I have and will continue to move forward, just as you will

  47. jacob Says:
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:54 am

    my wife left me for another man over 3 months ago, we had been together 12 years (married 6) and i was a broken man, but now after all these long lonely hours dwelling on what could have been and what she is up to now im finally going through each day stronger and with less and less thoughts of her. i now am slowly accepting the situation and seeing it in a different light, all i can say is take time look after yourself, talk to friends and although its hard TIME IS THE HEALER!!

  48. jacob Says:
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Best bit of advice i found on the internet :)
    You two break up–doesn’t matter who does it. You immediately panic and begin chasing, begging, pleading, harrassing, phoning, e-mailing, IMing, stalking (okay not all of them, just pick whichever one you did). Most of us will likely do some things during this stage that will make you cringe when you think back on it, say after about 3 months.

    You lose weight. You neglect yourself, your house, your job (how many hours do we all log on this site while we are at work?). You drive your friends and family crazy talking about the break up. You cry at the drop of a dime. You can’t even comprehend that your life might not again include that “special person.” You begin putting them on a pedestal, forgetting all of the nagging things about them that used to drive you crazy. In your mind, they have become omnipotent, all encompasing, all everything.

    You convince yourself that you are a loser who just screwed up a relationship with “the best person in the world.” You KNOW without a doubt that you will never EVER love like that again. You know no one else will come along who even comes close to being as marvelous as your ex (excuse me while I chuckle to myself here). You wear a sad face for the world to see (you should see my work ID taken 2 days after my breakup, it’s just pitiful).

    They (the ex’s) remain steadfast in their denial to get back together. Many of them leapfrog into new relationships, immediately being exclusive with a new person. For those that do leapfrog, they appear to just “replace” you with a new model. All of the things you two used to do, they now do with someone else. Bowling, cuddling watching television, motorcycle riding, antiquing. Whatever you two did, likely they will just begin doing those things with someone new.

    You hear about them and their new life. You are desperate for any crumbs of news about their life. Many of us make things worse here by trying to use manipulation to get them back–yet they stay away from us like we are the plague.

    For those of us who do still have contact with our ex’s we begin selling ourselves short. Doing stupid things like allowing them access to our bodies and then wanting to strangle them afterward when they remind us that “Sex does not imply hope.”

    You, in further panic mode, begin frantically searching the internet using phrases such as “break ups,” “divorce stopper,” whatever. You stumble upon this site, pay your money because your curious and lo and behold, you find all of us folks in various stages of this whole breakup bullsh*t.

    You voraciously read the posts. You search for news of those who “got their mates back.” You’re on the site constantly. You’ll read the books and think “Ah I can do this. I can get this person back.” You begin your “no contact” and for some of us, this will get a reaction from our ex’s. For the rest, no contact is and will continue to be what you’ll get and receive.

    Time goes by. You’ll do some stupid things. You’ll call your ex when you shouldn’t. You’ll call when you’ve had to much to drink. You’ll call even after 50 people on this site tell you not to. You’ll show up on their doorstep, hating yourself all the time. Then you’ll come back to this site and ask everyone to tell you why you were so stupid as to do whatever it was you did.

    Then you’ll get serious about no contact. It’ll hurt, but you try to stick to it. Here’s the turning point for most. For those folks who have contact with their ex’s, your no contact will either bring them sniffing curiously around or they’ll be somewhere high fiving their friends thanking the God’s that you haven’t called.

    Now’s the tough time. Nothing but time works. Everday the ache in your heart grows a little less. It’s only nanobits that it dies down by. But everyday it will get slowly better. You’ll have setbacks. You’ll run into your ex accidently. You’ll run into mutual friends who’ll tell you something about your ex that’ll have you high-tailing it home for a good cry. You’ll see your ex with their new “friend.” You’ll receive a phone call or an e-mail from your ex who “doesn’t want to be in a relationship but still wants to be friends (with benefits if you allow).

    Here’s another important part. You need to truly sit down and truthfully look back at the relationship and understand what you did to help with it’s demise. If you miss this part, you go through all the suffering for nothing because Buddy, you’ll be back here again. This site is to teach you about you. To teach you how to be a better partner, a better person. Missing that lesson is detrimental to the whole process. It’s the REASON that you’re going through this. God (or whatever your higher power is) needed you to learn something about YOU. Don’t miss out on the lesson.

    Then one day you’ll smile because you didn’t immediately check your answering machine when you came in. And one day you’ll decide to clean the muck that has accumulated in your house. And one day you’ll go outside and admit to the universe that you surrender what control you thought you had.

    And one day you’ll decide to date again. And one day you’ll go out on your first date and it will likely be a disaster. And then you’ll either force yourself to continue dating or you’ll decide that you aren’t ready to date but you are ready to be out amongst people again. And many of you will have some quick reconcillations with your ex’s. Many of us won’t. But one day, it won’t matter as much. Because time will allow you to catch yourself going minutes and then hours without thinking of the ex. And you’ll begin to be able to think of life possibly without that person and not dissolve into a puddle of nothingness because of the thought.

    And for most of us, sadly, life will go on without that mate. That’s the truth, amigos. Don’t want to dash your hopes but probably less than 3% of the people on this site get back with their mates. Sobering isn’t it? But, as the site instructs, you must accept this before you can truly begin to heal or draw your ex back to you. For the lucky (maybe unlucky one’s depending on how much work it will take to keep a mate that has wandered back) who get back with their ex’s, many will find that the paradise they envisioned isn’t reality and what they once thought was gold has a certain tarnish to it now. But they stay and try and make it work because it’s comfortable or, if they are really lucky, it’s meant to be.

    But for most of us. Life goes on. And one day you’ll find yourself having a gut busting laugh over something totally stupid and you’ll think to yourself “I am getting better.” And finally (thank God) you’ll have sex with some new and find that a) if it wasn’t good, at least you did it or b) it was so much better than with your ex you wonder why you waited so long to get back out there. And you’ll know you’re one the road to recovery.

    I guess what I’m trying to convey here is, while each situation is unique, the characteristics of most of our situations are the same. Most of us will go through at least something that I’ve written here. So, when someone tells you on this site that time will help you get through it, believe them. When they tell you that “trust me, it will get better and you will stop hurting eventually,” believe them. And when they give you good advice that your head understands but your heart rejects, take a moment to think before you react.

    Don’t beat yourself up if you do something that you wished you hadn’t (calling, contacting, etc) WE ALL DID AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. Be kind to yourself. Be forgiving of yourself. And most of all remember that being happily single is an alternative. Even if society is beating it into your head that you MUST have a mate, take some time to heal before going back out there. There are plenty of good people to love, but don’t go back out there broken, jaded about love, etc. Accept realty. Experience the pain. Learn the lesson. Actively try to heal. Remember the person you were when you first met your ex and get that person back.

    And the universe will take care of the rest.”

  49. ROYAL Says:
    January 19th, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    I am surprised to see how many people actually go through all the trouble to get back their ex’s to end up forgetting abour them them eventually. If I feel that she is the right girl for me and that I made a mistake over and over, and now I learnt from that mistake after seeking profesionnal help, is there any REAL way, without using these tactics to get one’s heart back and to show her that I’ve gone through the worse to the best because of her, and want to now give her the best side of me, because she deserves it. But how do I get this point accross to her? I want to be able to do this as soon as possible. PLEASE HELP

  50. Proudly Single at 30 Says:
    February 4th, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Word by word true !!

    In past 4+ years, I have seriously moved on.
    I would add some more things to the list ….
    Delete her contact number, delete/destroy all pictures where the 2 of you are in a cosy-lovey-dovy pose.

    ZERO contact rule - come what may - even if there is a terrorist attack in the vicinity of the area where she lives/works.

    Trust me - it sounds ruthless and mean - but thats the way this world is.

    For me, it has been 4+ years - I dont give a damn as to whether she is even alive or not. In a nutshell, I have deleted her from my life to a huge extent.

    Yes, moments of nostalgia do take over once in a while - but that is only human - specifically when you come across someone who is a reasonable look-alike, or a namesake, or sharing same birthday as her.

    Just be yourself, discover who you are, and dont give a damn to the world.

    Regarding myself - I have definitely learnt that I am 100% complete being myself and dont need any woman to complete me.

    Will I date/marry ?
    Answer : I do not know.

  51. Michael Says:
    February 20th, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    I really dont think men are alowwed to be happy. We hurt just as much and waste years of life away feeling damaged. I wont truely forget her so I live with her memory in a good way. You cant just forget a person whoever it’s is. Take her along with you as you go through life anew.

  52. Michael Says:
    February 20th, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    This is my turn around year, now that i’ve stopped crying this moment and really want to live and love again. I stayed away from girls for that time period. Almost two years have gone by with everyday day her memory continued for the ride. The last thing I have to do is delete her pictures which i’ve held onto since it happened. I’m a idiot because theres this girl who has been standing right in front of me and never gave her the time of day. You have to go on and live with whatever time you have left in this world. Have kids, teach them and when your old with one you love you can look back and be proud at your life. Seeing the younger generation take over where you left off. I’m 26 and it’s taking this long to see the truth. Smile at the world and seek happiness.

  53. Heck Yes! Says:
    May 5th, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    This guy is so on its scary! Thanks much for this article. Its like the lottery number for happieness cuz I hit almost all of them…very excited for my future!!

  54. Big L Says:
    June 12th, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    Great article. I broke up with “the one” 8 months ago and we were together 8 years. I am now seeing a therapist because the alcohol was the only way to numb the pain, that in itself has now turned into a problem. I am seeing massive progress though due to training and eating healthy. I know one day i will get there though. Good luck to all the guys who have been heart broken

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